Saturday, March 21, 2015

One more of those totally personal posts ...no quilts

Mr. O'Quilts showing off his new collar...Now my man has been collared before...but by choice!!
In twenty months...from tennis pro to this...My very brave dear man.
 His mood remains positive and loving...


Sitting outside this morning,  memories engulf me...On the left there is a haze in the distance over the pond,the air is crisp and I feel it is Autumn and we are driving north up the coast in California.  Lovely...Then I hear the grass being cut in the field next door..and smell the freshly cut grass ..That is beloved spring??  Looking forward some trees are bare and with the crisp air,I think it is autumn again, in northern Virginia the apple season.  Very relaxing...I love autumn....
But, to the right the pear trees are in bloom as are the daffodils and tulips..Spring..
I am confused,  That is not such a rare thing now-a-days. This morning is a comforting confusion.

I am reading a book I had wanted from the library.  A Three Dog Life, by Abigail Thomas.  I heard good things about this book.  I want to, need to read a book that I have heard good things about.
I did not know what it was about.
Now I know.
It is about living with grief.  I cannot put it down.
In spite of myself, I fell asleep in the sun..red faced with warm diet Coke...it is now summer:)

My man is stable in his condition.  We are celebrating that good news today. He was lying in his hospital bed, attended by Stephanie, his caregiver.
I was reading in the sun, pondering life. He has now joined me..but he does not ponder.

Several excerpts from this book attract me:
About a storm and a dock coming loose in the waves..."How great to be enjoying the ride, however uncertain the outcome". and about aging
"being cautious is new territory; my specialty was leaping, not looking".
I loved the book so much,,the articulation and writing style.  I thought about buying and owning the book, but my book buying days are over and this one is a library  book.. my new book venue.

Now that I have finished reading my new friend...I feel that lull of what to do next...as my dear man has his chest shaken in a vest before he eats into his stomach tube.
Life is such a strange thing.
 What if we had moved up to the mountains like some people we know...
Retirement barely started here...we are 20 minutes away from one of the 5 best ALS clinics in the country. Crazy life.
From relaxation back into worry.
The caregivers now say that my man is dead weight and now requires two people to move him in bed.
  I cannot bare to even think of where this might take us..

Better to just sit in the sun today.
xxoo





6 comments:

Rachaeldaisy said...

It's lovely to hear the sun is smiling on you both. Books can be such angels at times, it sounds like you've found a beauty.

Alcea Rosea 31 said...

The weather seems to be very changeable at the moment, here in the U.K. We have not had as much snow but just as I think it's getting warmer we have a bitterly cold day. Pleased you were able to take advantage of sitting out.
Hugs

smazoochie said...

I know he is so ill, but even all swaddled & propped up, your dear man always looks so dapper & charming.
I wish I could keep you in this pleasant moment, sitting together, enjoying the sun & air, smells & sounds of Spring. When things get to be too much, please refer back to this post & remember your contentment.
"Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself."
Sending hugs.

livelymonkey said...

Wonderful quote from your friend
smazoochie............"...no thought for the morrow, etc." So true....I'll try to remember that always for whatever comes along. I am happy for your lovely day in the sun Diane.....I wish more of the same for you......a little piece of peace.
Hugs, Mona

earthwalker quilts said...

Soak up the rays, let your mind wander...days like this are nature's way of healing. As usual, all the best to you and yours.

Michele Bilyeu said...

Your wonderful and so very handsome and dapper man is still looking so good. All of your bits and pieces of quilts and quilting surround him with so much comfort and I am sure joy from all of your love and care. We are joined in our reading of books about grief and grieving. I have been reading and reading for over 15 years now, part and parcel of the process as every day someone new is in the flow of that journey. Love and hugs to you, today and every day.