Courage from Ellen

A gift of courage from Ellen.

If RBG could do it, then DBM can too

AND...I am a tiny bit younger than she is.....

D-day is upon me.

I have to be at the hospital tomorrow morning at 10:15

It has been a long time since I have had an action figure of my very own!!

xo

The Same Old Boring Rant....I need it, you do not.!!

Can you imagine, my girl and her man think this is fun.

With no sewing machine around????

 Tillamook State Forest 

Ten month old family wolf...named Rosie...on a hike and in a tent with my girl and her man

Portland is a great outdoor place.  Youth is great too!!

This is Rosie's first real hike and first time in a tent...wow..

Trying to make a sad day more cozy.

My man moved his hospital bed into my office

and our lives changed forever.

This was three years ago...He has been gone 4 years.

I feel sad that no one will ever say to me...again..

"Do not worry sweetheart, we still have each other"

I think I cannot do this anymore without my dear man.

Then, I say...what makes you think he is not here, somewhere...still watching and caring..?

He sent Eamon home, didn't he??

He said, You cannot raise these kids alone...you are too old.

I said, " Watch me..."

When I am weaker...I say..Why didn't you tell me you were going to die

Tuesday morning at 7 am  ????

Today I struggle with fear... a knee replacement operation.

Not an operation on my heart...not a feeding tube..not an amputation.

I am a brave woman wannabee.

Then I say, it is only because of this time in the world that these kinds of surgeries are available at all.

Or I would be in a wheelchair in more pain, yesteryear...

Today is Sunday..I am taking my thankful self outside in the sun to read.

I am reading, The Moment of Lift , by Melinda Gates.

Today I am choosing to sit under a tree in my beautiful back yard...

reading a book with two cats and a dog.

No sewing motivation for me....

Oh, well...I will be courageous..

Week set up for my comfort...

Monday lunch bday party

Tuesday night MQG

Wed day meeting

Wed night IQ

Thursday lunch

Thursday night OMG  OMG  OMG

Friday morning ...the knife

Thank you for listening...

Tonight I needed a rant..xo

The Midnight Hour

With a LIttle Help from my Friends

What I am working on tonight...a slow process.

Looks like white will need to be the next border...but I did not include that here.

Funny how a person can see the right value once the picture is posted.

Kids spending the long weekend with their mother...love..

Love for them and love for me!!

Thank you  my friends...

Thank you Carol for yummy weekend dinner.

We are still enjoying it...day two!!!

Thank you Frieda and Sarah for paying for my lunch.

Thank you Sherrie for strong and steady

Thank you Dalia for quarts of perfect blueberries..yum

Thank you Linda for your support.

Thank you meeting friends for listening to my story a million times

...all without judgment.

Thank you friends who accept me for who I am.

I am practicing turning things over to the proper places...eg

I am not going to call my surgeon on Thursday night to see if he wants to

review any of his knee replacement surgery theories with me....hmmm

He does  10 replacement surgeries a week...5 on Mondays and 5 on Fridays.

For 30 years....

Nor will I email him to remind him to have a healthy protein breakfast.

before he starts the operations...Jeeze..

I have asked his nurse if I can be first on Friday morning.

In place of being in my dear doctor's business....I have a list of sewing things to finish.

And, a list of sewing things to prepare for my recovery...

Grandma O'Quilts ...get with the program!!!!

My son just cut our grass...in the dark...after doing construction all day.

He came into the sewing room to find me listening to what he called  sad songs.

Without even asking.....He immediately changed U-Tube to "Happy songs"

He chose these songs for me...too funny.

I feel loved..

Better When I am Dancing

Can't Stop the Feeling

Happy

Living in the Moment

Sugar
morning has broken
With a Little Help from my friends
Let it Be

It was almost bed time and then a girl called him....Oh, my....He is outta here.

I have never seen him dress so fast....wahoo...

I have so much to be grateful for.

Just think of the friends who put up with my craziness and love me anyway..

Lucky lucky me.

Oh The Places we Go

To Margaret's funeral...surrounded by peace and by friends..

Goodbye Margaret...You are still our boss and leader!!!

Into my sewing room..I have selected the binding for my

mustard star...I will machine stitch it down and hand stitch after my surgery.

One of Kathy Lynn's finest quilts

Front and back...adorable..

To my UFO group.

I have missed so many of these meetings...due to distance and pain.

My sister drove us to Donna's new house.

It was wonderful..so many beautiful rooms  and beautiful views..

I loved it...the best of all was this huge sewing room...

The entire finished  basement  Way to go Donna.

Here on Donna's high rise ping pong table we basted 

Beth's scrap quilt..."Hugs from my Friends"

HSTs made from friend;s donations...a great memory.quilt

The lighting is grand...I came right home to my own dark quilting room

and vowed to change it... I took a nap instead!!

A specialized potholder for an artist.

I think that I just HATE cleaning up after myself...just sayin...

No wonder my quilting space is a jumble.

I am trying to get a grip.

I am in so much pain, I cannot walk well.

Not just my knee, but the thigh muscles in both legs.

My mind is once again doing a number on me.

My non-stop thinking, uncontrollable mind.

What is wrong with me now????

I have a much needed 3 day vacation this weekend.

I can do what I want...like being with friends and sewing and resting.

The children are with their mother...and best of all...dear little sister, Ava.

8 days left of school makes some children go bananas..

and others not want to do make up work..Sigh.

No one here has money..

Mine is lost...ha.ha...hidden in my stash!!!.

The nanny did not even have enough money to put gas in her car

to get home after work...She is used to working 3 part-time CNA jobs.

Now she only has me.

I am doing the one thing at a time gig...

Rest this long weekend and sew...of course.

Have my knee repaired Friday week...

and then....I will tackle my other worries.

Did I mention that if there is a God...it is not me!!!

I am surrendering!!

So grateful that the children's parents are doing so well.

Grateful for the praying that went on Monday...when I was supposed to be under the knife..

Also thankful for a smart and helpful grief therapist.

He is my life boat....then I go back into the squalling seas.

Red wine and popcorn time...

xo