So Long, Farewell......

Pumpkin

2000-2016

We loved you so.

  

I took our girl to the vet this afternoon...our long time vet of 20 years.

He said...average age of cat is 14 years...Pumpkin was 100 in human years.

Diagnosis:

Old age, renal failure, advanced thyroid disease, dementia and if he looked, 

He thought he could find more...OMG

She was 7 pounds of love...in agony...
Goodbye Pumpkin..an awesome quilt  lover and dear friend.

Strange but true...Zoe, the black lab used to have great fun chasing the cats.

In the last two weeks, Zoe has hovered near Pumpkin.

Zoe knew, when we did not.

Goodbye good cat..

xxoo

Sweet Memory Lane

Evan and Lynsey at Halloween forever ago with my son and my DIL

 My grandmother collected pigs forever.
  She often mentioned how she loved pigs and how smart they were.
 Growing up in Sweden as a young child, it was one of her chores to feed the pigs.
So for Christmas in 1978???  I made this for her.   I always loved it.

This embroidered cat pattern was from Better Homes and Gardens magazines...
in the late 70's, I think.
I would trace the pattern on muslin blocks and mail them from my home in Miami to my grandmother living in Arizona.  Grandma was in her late 80's, early 90's.  She would complain that her eyes were not so good any more and that I expected too much from her. Yet each time, I would have them all back in like two weeks.  My mother told me to keep sending them...lol
A treasure for me, as my grandmother was a role model to help me keep fighting.

 This easy quilt is one of my favorites of all times, that I have made..
My purple "X" block

 This wonky quilt of mine won 4th place in our show...
NO ONE won first, second or third...
Really????

My vintage collection of potholders...

 This is the only perfect present that I ever found for my brother and his wife.
At one time they had 20 cats in their "no pet" apartment in Miami.  I made each cat a small stocking for Christmas.  Love....it is all about Love.

How about a shout out to my dear friend, Bea...

Bea at Bea's Hive
For Bea...my source of dignity, grace and strength.

The Prayer

Check out Susannah's cool food blog..

Just One Little Post

I am quilting, for the first time in 3 months... one of my 12 pinned quilt tops.
 When I look at this picture, I remember my dear man over the machine..
.in his hospital bed, in the next room...
I loved him so...
No more suffering for my dear...

Of course...fast quilting leads to feathered stitches on the back...Ugh..I had to take out a 12 x 10 inch part...Oh, well...done now.  I really really love this backing.
It was so hard to use.
I wanted to save it...Really???

 The above quilt is now awaiting its binding.
 Now working on the small quilt from the nursing home.... jelly roll quilt.

 Pat's potholder...the tennis playing nurse...love you Pat!!!

Really cool link Denim-I spy-rag quilt

Hi My Love...
 Just to tell you that I had a wonderful time at the widows dinner the other night..
The Charades were hilarious and the food and friendship were divine.
 It energized me so that Sunday I did some online paperwork for my license
  Some quilting and some reading and walking and napping.
Sunday was just a wonderful day..actually so have been the last few days. Amazing...
I knew you had not been home for awhile, so I sat down to send you an email about it...
when .........................reality set right back in..

I am working on mental exercises of healing..ways I look at things..
Maybe I am ready for that...maybe not.

Or, of course....Grandparenting!!!!

Sad news is that my son walked out of Detox and is back on the street again.
Good news is that my girl is back...love her so...We had breakfast out this morning..
She did all my hard computer chores in like 10 seconds...paid my online bills in like 15 seconds.
Guess I am really an old lady after all.
But...guess what.????
 After 5 or 6 years disabled...I am walking...so wonderful!!!!
Life is still so sweet.
Amazing Grace!!

Tell Me a Story...a Good One Please!!

Good Story:
I am sewing!!

Good Story:
Sixteen year old Pumpkin likes to sit beside me in the new basket I fixed for her.

Good Story:
MP asked for some of my Guatemalan fabric to make pillows for her sofa.
I shared cuz I love MP and because of my new awareness that I cannot take it with me!!

She has made these two pillows...so awesome....

Good Story:

My son went to Detox last night.  He said he was  hoping that a bed in rehab would come up after that.

I told him that he would have to use his charm for rehab, I could not afford to help him with $$$.

But, if he did all that, I would front him the money for the first month of a halfway house until he got a job.

Now, we have been down this road a million times...but.....God Please.....

Good Story:

Today, despite 100 degrees, I walked to the end of the street and back.

Feebly I walked the stairs..carefully...in my home, instead of the chair lift.

First time in forever.

I have scheduled three fun events for this upcoming free weekend.

So thrilled.

Funny Story:

Lynsey, age 7 hit her 6 year old brother yesterday morning.

She spent her camp day awaiting consequences....ha!

When Ms Stephanie picked her up, she reported that she had told her entire group at camp

that she was in trouble...and queried as to their consequences when they got into trouble.

Well!!!  Said Ms. Lynsey..

.NONE of them have to clean toilets and wipe down walls when they get into trouble..

.Sooo funny that girl...
Whatever....Lynsey... we do not hit.

Good Story:
I have amazing friends...Thank you Drenna and Sherrie...

Good Story:
There are only 4 more days until my girl and Ms Muggs come home..TBTG

I am delighted to report that there are some good stories around....
There is nothing like a good story...especially between the sad ones..

Stormy Weather

Random love from yesteryear...
This quilt...gifted to my friend Judy.
 
 Newborn Lynsey, now 7..

Granddaddy, Lynsey and Evan...now 11

My favorite cat, Milito...insisting who is boss....Milito long gone too

 Eamon and Lynsey...OMG..all seem so young
Eamon was there at all the births...helping lift her out..

My DIL...sisters

 Multitasking Granddaddy

 My favorite snowball

Oh..Grief...Why now??

This morning after taking the three children to their camp,

I came home and sat in my recliner, blinds down.

One black dog at my feet, one yellow cat on my lap.

I napped. I cried. I sat. I napped again.

At noon I rolled out of my chair for lunch.

I shook myself and checked my daily list.

I bought new tennis shoes.

I walked less than 10 minutes on the treadmill.

I felt hopeless at it and very very very sore.

(Not having walked in 5/6 years...ouch)

I bought two tomatoes for $3...ouch again.

I had my hair cut.

I read Dylan a story or 5.

I called an app store lady in the Philippines who taught me how to remove an app from my phone???
Then how to re-install the new one..!!!

I did it...after 10 long instructional minutes...

Mudbrain!!

I could not throw off the despair.

15 months gone vs. 37 years together.

I see my dear man everywhere.

I looked for all my gratitude.

I found it plentiful.

Doom persisted.

I could not sew.

I did not eat ice cream, nor chocolate.

Instead I am telling the world.
I am telling you.
xxoo

Camera Happy

Lordy...I am a point and shoot kind of woman!!

My broken $250 camera with lost warranty..was a hated camera.

Now, my new $100 Canon so easy....Voila...pictures.

Last night the energy came to me to sew this backing for the cuddle quilt.

I just hated to use up my zebras.

I have finally grasped that there is no trailer hitch on the hearse!!

 Halloween fabric cheers anyone!!  I want to start another Halloween quilt.

Sigh...so many flimsys to finish..so far to go.  I need 100 Sit-and-Sews to cheer me on.

Tomorrow I will get my new tennis shoes and try the tread mill..

.Ok..tomorrow I will get the shoes(:

I certainly do not want to get carried away.

I went to a wine tasting tonight with my widow's group at someone's house.

A small sip of 10 wines...Hmmm good thing Stephanie gave me an 8:30 curfew.

And, good thing my friend lives 5 minutes from my house.

The Missing Piece..just an O'Quilt's Ramble

Ok...so broken new camera and mud brain cannot find the receipt nor the warranty...
So no pix and new camera to be bought tomorrow...a cheap one...OMG
But, Aunt Brandy to the picture rescue with this adorable quilt..from where I do not know.
Just too cute.

Moping me got a huge lift this evening... dinner out with a friend.  Mexican of course.
This friend is quite a motivational speaker...eg...get out of your recliner, walk, go to the gym, get a grip..etc..
Had to walk to the restaurant from a far away parking spot.  Really????  But I did it!!!
I keep looking for my cane of 5 years...I keep thinking I cannot walk..but I can...such a miracle.

Television has rarely been part of my style....Until I was in high school, we did not even have it.  In seventh grade I came home from school to find the broken TV on the trash heap, never to be replaced.

With two pit bulls, one lab,one German Shepherd, one alarm system, and three grandchildren....
I am rarely alone.
So....

Now-a-days..sometimes this widow just turns on Netflix and watches a silly movie.

I feel guilty.  I should be doing, not being.
  Is there not something to be cleaned or cooked or studied or sewn...
perhaps a literary book to learn from or a fabric to be cut.

New territory here as life throws me curve balls.  Trying to just do what I feel like doing.

Just trying to be...It is a whole new me!!

I saw my son today at visitation...He was in good shape..TBTG  I was so relieved.
.At least tonight I am motivated to patch a backing for the jelly roll baby quilt.
Tuesday is senior day at the shoe store...new tennis shoes then to walk...crazy..
Did you know that August is almost here????????

The no pix, broken camera...etc...

OK...so I just could not do it...a no picture post...so I found these older  pictures....

I like them too.

Going to Target tomorrow to look at a new camera...always something.

Snowball with Grandma's embroidery.

A fun kids quilt

Just a another kids cool one..

So a story without a picture can still be a good story...right??? Of course, I just could not do it...lol

How about coming home from the pool and finding a half a dead rabbit on the porch right by the back door????
Like thank you Zoe...such a wonderful dog...500 squirrels 0 for Zoe...

But, one rabbit yes...good good Zoe...hmmmm, cough...OMG

It got better when my DIL went outside to clean it up with a shovel.

She found the rabbits head lying on a chair..wahoo..Zoe...Really???
NO kisses for you tonight!!!!

Good Grandma allowed herself to sit in her recliner and think and doze this morning after the pool exercise.

The former grandma would have felt lazy...this is the new grandma...realizing that her knee may feel great, but is still in trauma...and certainly her psyche is in trauma...so whatever...

I did it.

This evening, I took care of self with a stroll through Marshalls and a Naranon meeting with friends.

They all said that I looked younger with more energy...What did I do????

Hello...a new knee and no more chronic pain.

I had no idea it had been so bad. Normalizing chronic pain is so not good.

But good is being able to trust...for now...my DIL watching her very own children while I get my life back.

So humming along.

Kids are doing so well in the most wonderful camp in the world...Camp Mindy at the JCC.

We are indeed a lucky family.

Evan has been invited to a sleepover Saturday night and the other two are going to a movie...invited by their school teacher...Like wow!!!  

Stephanie is is coming to help out as my balance is still not so good.

This morning grief swallowed me.

Tonight I am coming to the realization that my love with Mr. O'Quilts was something that many people never have.  I am so grateful for what I had...It has framed me for this last part of my life.

While before I had thought I would have died of a broken heart...that did not happen..so was not my choice.

Tonight I realize that my man lives inside of me.

He gives me the energy to carry on and make the best of this next part.

Talk about a mood swing..  I guess that is what it takes.

My mother had told me to look deep within myself to find the core of who I was ...whether or not I called it God or not. and I would be ok...It is just taking so so so long.

I found three police officers tonight to pass out the gift cards to...Stephanie and the kids also found one.
It is so good to give thanks.
xxoo

The Party and the Pain

It was MP birthday party tonight at Wednesday night quilting.
 I made the family cake...with my grandmother's chocolate frosting.
  I used her little bird candle holders and her beautiful embroidered cloth that my mother and grandmother saved forever and never  used...OMG.
Happy Birthday MP

 I had no present cuz I was in quite a funk today about losing my old man.
So at 4:30 I started on this.  Made all of vinyl and laminate,
 it is perfect for MP to take out on her boat.
I finished it 45 minutes before the party because I did not leave myself enough time for mistakes..OMG
Picking stitches out of vinyl is tough going.....grrr
This is a clear vinyl window with the owls on the inside of the bag..
....figured that MP was a wise old owl by now.

 Voila.. her mother in an awesome picture book M made on Shutterfly...
I wish I could figure out how to do that for my grands...Unfortunately, it is not in my skill set...
At 99, it seems like Margaret had a million parties.
She was even right here tonight for her own daughter's party!!!
You go Margaret....

Of course, there is more......

The Second Year of Grief
I really just cannot get a grip...I keep on seeing my love in his hospital bed with his breathing mask on and the feeding tube and suction tube...all paralyzed ....
These flashbacks coming now,...at 15 months??.

TBTG I have a great therapist and great friends and family...
That the second year can be harder???

I am holding on, especially with the good knee news....
My knee quirk was just a pull of a bit of scar tissue.
It is now awesome again..
I think that I am going to make tomorrow a potholder day!!!!!
xxoo

Just so you know......

Evan and Grandma hanging out over the sewing machine...

How nice is this??

Just so you do not think I am a quilting slacker...Voila...
The first cuddle, baby quilt flimsy made from the jelly roll top created at the nursing home..


Today was the day....ripped out of my black hole by an invitation to lunch...Yummy Mexican..Since I was raised up in Arizona...just gotta love that Mexican food.
1900 Mexican Grill...on Park Rd..in Charlotte, NC
I was feeling so cocky with my new knee and no cane...that I took it further...
Yup. I went to the Sleepy Poet Antique Mall...I walked the entire thing for the first time in 5 years.
Not even tired...I did notice, however, that something felt like it ripped in my knee when I  bent it a bit...
It was sore...I iced it, once home....actually, it is still sore...
.OMG  How could I rip my perfect new knee...???
How can that happen after 5 weeks???????
Should I freak out???   After all....that is my style...lol
I am freaking out!!!

I bought a gift for a friend.
I found a piece of vintage fabric...4 yards for $6.50...
35 inches wide..now that is vintage for sure...
And I bought two necklaces.
 They are not vintage...but since this is the first time in over 3 years that I actually am starting to care about how I look...I felt that was success.

A good day..now freaking out more about my knee...

"Grandma" is a grown-up name!

I cannot do it, said the whiner...I have a bad shoulder.
But do it, she did...shoulder and all.
I covered my ironing board with fresh new fabric from IKEA!!
Duct tape is my favorite wonder tape!!

 I love this..!!

Here are the all done potluck covers...
Thanks to my Wednesday night group who pulled thru all the elastics!!!!

Here I am...alone for the weekend...being a grown-up!

Yup...went to the library and looked for an hour thru some quilting books.

It was quiet and I had a beautiful view!

Also, I walked in without a cane...did so fine...

Went to visit two friends at their shops..

Uplifting!

Came home with so much energy.

Went to my meeting in the rain...but used my cane..
Good Grandma!!

Big, bad thunderstorms...
I am having a surprisingly hard time with grief lately.
I just see my love everywhere...missing him with despair!!!
Proud of grown up Grandma..getting out of the house and
just getting things done!!!

What you need to know,.... and Mor'......

Today is 15 months a widow...so hard to believe.

Free sandwich day at Chick-Fil-A... If you dress like a cow, you get a free lunch.
Ms Stephanie took the kids 

They took their black Karate shirts and pinned white paper spots...Yeah creative Stephanie!!!

A lovely piece from the blog of Michele Bilyeu

We were made for these times

and a funny....
It has been Lonely in the Saddle since my Horse Died

I have been to the pool 3x this week...Oh, yeah...Grandma...!!!
Knee getting better every day.
Crazy grief still hangs here at the O'Quilt's house.
Shows itself at night in sobs.
Oh, Mr. O...Why did you leave me so???

My girl left yesterday for a much needed two week vacation to see her husband's family.
Grands are just loving loving Camp Mindy at the J.
I love Camp Mindy too!!!

Then of course...there would be more:

We had a family meeting to discuss police officers and the race issue in our country.
We discussed all the different sides and that most police officers are nice..Police of all colors are nice...mostly. They  make very little money and put their lives on the line to protect us.  I had bought the 10 $5 gift cards to randomly give to police when we saw them..and say, according to the children,
 "Thank you for being a nice cop".
Then I asked them if they thought police officers were good or bad.
OMG...Grandma walked right into that one.
Evan and Lynsey put their hands over their ears and said NO...Evan did not want to talk about police.
Trauma from the past when they lived with their parents came swishing in...
Police arrested Mommy and Daddy.
No...Mommy and Daddy did nothing wrong...OMG
Lynsey cried., Evan was about to.
When I first took guardianship of the children, they use to scream..."duck" when a police car came by.
.  Discussion...can we love someone who makes bad choices.?..
They would not take their hands off their ears.
Lynsey and Evan have agreed to go back to trauma therapy.
Dylan is too young...he missed it all.
They love their parents so much...but...
Mommy misses visitation because of work and sickness.
Daddy is living homeless in the woods shooting up Heroin and holding a sign.

The very very good news is that the Muldoon family has a wonderful support system.!!!!
The children agreed to give the cards out to cops
..Ms Stephanie has some in her purse and so do I.
We are all waiting for the chance.
Since Chick-Fil-A gives a 50% discount to police...it should work out.

Now if I could just get off this computer and sew...I would feel better...lol































































































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