When is Good,.... Good Enough...????

I went to my fourth quilter estate sale yesterday.

The abundance of collectible was free.

But, not free of memories.

And, not free of angst.

Clearly my photography skills are weak
This pretty quilt does not show well..
Art and color cleanse me.

My drawer full of 30's fabric...where are my Grace bits...this baby's name is Grace!!!

In fabric, is it the color?

Is it the lighting...showing the soul and reflecting the heart.

Is it the feel or the possibilities..

Why do I have such hope for fabric and not for....

My fabric collection spans 50 some years.

I hope that my friends and family have a party as...
 they divvy up my passion.once I fly on..

Working on this quilt now, quilting done...do I need more quilting???
  Is it good enough/?
The baby probably will not mind...but the fabric artist does...

Age 70 requires a review of one's life...
I had a great life...no regrets at all..
It was more than good enough.  It was brilliant...
I just want more of it...more and more...
What is my future...??  Really...did I forget, again.... that I am not in control??

Links to my man and my mother...down memory lane..again...always..

HImself....my dear man..xoxo
He told me that when he died, I should not worry about going downtown to make sandwiches for the homeless...that raising the children and making quilts were enough.
Funny how he read my mind...
Even now, I feel like I am not doing enough.
I have the affliction of more....
 On my lovely weekends alone, I cuddle in a quilt or two, sit in my recliner, read a book and doze off,
cats in my lap, dog at my feet..
Maybe my man was right.  Then maybe he was not.

And so I sleep and I sew and I love my grands and my friends.
This article brought more tears to my eyes.
Why Grief Lasts so Long..
.April 14th he will be three years gone.

And so, in order to try to steady myself in serenity, I am taking a break from:
My Naranon group...as I hate addiction and am sick of talking about it for now...
My ALS support group...as I hate ALS and am sick of ALS
Phone calls from my son, as I am fragile and have a great need for self-care.
I do not want to hear about his angst.
Or, listen to him asking for money, when no money ever comes in this direction, to help.

Tonight I was able to review these posts, and read the comments....
I felt warm fuzzies instead of just pathos..

My mother's death...The Butterfly and the Gift

My broken heart...reports....My husband's death...

Today, I napped a million times, I celebrated thawed water in the dog's bowl.
I had lunch with my sister...a rare delight..
Tonight,  blogging and finishing this baby quilt....
....as soon as I decide if it is good.....good enough.

ps  As I review these old posts, I am infused with music love...here is another:
The Rose

2018...Day Two...

How is 2018 starting out????
Just sayin'...today was the day that I got three children up at 6am...shuffled them to the bus stop in 12 degree weather....waited for 30 minutes before I realized that there was no school today.
Winter break did not end until tomorrow!!!!

Everyone is posting their finishes...so I thought I had better stay up late and have a finish for today, anyway...A top..baby quilt..all done...terrible pix I see..but it is 12:30 am.

I called our Stephanie begging her to come early to steady my quilting room, so it would have some semblance of tidy...to calm my brain.
She came early alright, but it was to care for the children ..on their "no shcool" day and help them with their rooms and the laundry....no time for folding sewing room fabric.

Cleaning in the archives,  appeared this pig of my grandmother's
Growing up in Sweden, her job as a young child was tending to the pigs...She always thought that they were adorable and very smart...so she collected them later in her life.
One year, we were at wit's end on what to get her for her birthday.  Found this plain pig somewhere and the whole family signed it.  My grandmother died in 1996...born in 1896...so this little piggy is quite an heirloom...many others who signed it are also dead.

Last night fear came upon me for my son, homeless in freezing weather.
 After watching the news, I sent him a text...r u ok???
He called me back...Of course Mom.. Why wouldn't I be???
 Hmmmm????
He said...Remember that university student that paid for a hotel for me last year so I could bathe and rest???  Well this year she bought me a tent and a minus 30 degree sleeping bag and a propane heater...so I am snug as a bug in my tent..
.Mom..you never have to worry about me..I am resilient
My bad...poor old Mom.worrying about her homeless son...

I read in a clip...to avoid a stolen purse, just tie your purse in the child restraint on the shopping cart.
I did...so proud.... old Grandma...
Once to the car, I did not have the strength in my hands to unclasp it (70 years old) I had to ask a passer-by to release my safe...very safe...purse.

 A lovely package came today from Florida and my friend Judy...
She made me her special cookies...which arrived all intact..
Such love.
She also sent me some lotion.
I got the biggest kick out of the brand....Dead Sea lotion.
Ha ha ha...so appropriate for turning 70!!

Blue Nickles...Creating when you are on the rainy side of life
I love this guy...right up front and very creative.

Now, lets see what January 3rd brings for the O'Quilt family...
xo

Happy New Year...2018.

Happy New Year, with 365 more chances to celebrate

Bye bye my favorite snow man

 Good night tired reindeer..Good night tired grandma....

Hello New Year...potholders

 

 I am afraid things have  not changed yet...I am still up at 2am.
Still cannot find my camera, still struggling with the perfect border
Still killing myself with cookies.

However, 2018...I have found some hope.
Check out  this funny if you have not already seen it.

And NO, I do not identify...!!!!!🙀🙀🙀

I think I need to ask for this for next Christmas...

So hilarious...but so true...

Alexa for Seniors

Christmas Surprises

The lovely Christmas 

 My daughter made a stocking for me, filling it with goodies.

Starting out of course with that demon Kale...a Merry Kalemas, 

Better still were fat quarters and a walking foot for my travel machine.

I love my daughter.

Christmas was perfect...a lot due to my daughter and her husband...He cooked the holiday roasts and breakfast...and I was able to relax..finally....on Christmas eve.

Last minute finishes...

A see through bag made from Cousin Ann's sparkly London vinyl

This was for my dear girl.

This holds a snack pack decorated with chickens...My girl loves chickens..

Inside..  new seam rippers and new rotary blades.

All for her digs in Portland.

For my sister.....the wrapping paper vinyl zippy bag that was a total failure.

 First, I applied clear iron-on vinyl to only one side, lined it and zippered it.

The wrapping paper ripped.

I did not give up.

 Next, I ironed vinyl on both sides, it still ripped and was impossible to turn inside out.

UGH...TBTG my sister's birthday is not until Wednesday.

I have successfully used this method on candy bags..

I.guess they are made much stronger.
I learned the hard way...no more wrapping paper bags.

Christmas dinner for nine..

Happy children...Little Critter house for Lynsey

Emily decorated with Christmas lights and a lighted miniature tree.

 New I-pad for Dylan

 Of course....old Zoe..cataracts and white beard

still showing off the Christmas spirit, patient and kind..

 The bitter sweet angst was my son.

He wanted to come to Christmas.

I had to say no....No because last time he was in such bad shape on drugs that he made us all cry.

No because he is making no attempt to get clean and sober.

No because when he is under the influence,, sometimes he can be frightening.

I want to protect both my grands and myself from those kinds of things.

I had to say no...but oh, how I cried.
We all love him so much.

Just in time..as often happens, a gift of love appears.

I have not really heard from Beth in awhile..she has kinda switched to Instagram..

She is not a big talker, like I am..

Out of the blue, she remembered my birthday.

Her kindness lifted my soul and dried my tears.

A loving mug rug...already hanging in my sewing room

 The most darling chocolate panels...finally chocolate that will not shrink my clothes.

xoxoxo Beth...u r so wonderful

 In all...a very Merry Christmas

xoxox

ps tomorrow is the day...I get my abscessed wisdom tooth extracted

Pray for my bravery!!!

The Beginning of the O'Quilt Family Christmas

Merry Christmas from the O'Quilt family in Charlotte, North Carolina!

..

Here we have Lynsey leaving the milk and cookies and carrots out for Santa.

 She is reading to us, her letter to Santa. She is quite happy that he put her on his "good" list even though she had had some "iffy" times when she was mean spirited..
She thanks him for forgiving her and hopes he and his reindeer have a safe trip tonight.
She understands what a hard job he has with big, heavy bags to be carried all over the world.

Stunning hand made presents from my quilting birthday party last week..

Our talented Eithne with an Irish "Happy Christmas Diane" embroidered on the front.
Always a reminder that my dear Irish Mr.O'Quilts is with me in spirit.
If you look closely there is also an embroidered Santa in gold on the stocking!!!!

Just look how Linda did a clever presentation of charms...all sewn into a fruit bag.

Drenna made me a bag to carry shoes on quilting trips
And made this card for me.

Muggs made an apron with my favorite flower, sunflower.
All the chocolate and vino tinto make this a tight fit of love.
I am not allowed to spill on it...

And so it goes...I have tons more to show.
However, tomorrow early am, there is quite a time coming.
Not that I will be rested, but I had better go on to bed now.

Me and My Best Friend
working at the chocolate factory!!!!!
Until then, I am looking forward to my SIL cooking yummy Christmas breakfast
and watching the joy of Christmas in the eyes of my grandchildren.
xoxo

Happy Birthday to Me!!

Grandma O'Quilts turns 70 and there is no going back!!!!

Doesn't she look so wise??? !!!

 From my Lynsey..age 8

 Flowers from my girl

 Dylan picked his favorite jar opener...made for Grandma...

Wrapping paper....ha...I am going to make a vinyl bag from it.
My sister was born in Arizona.

From the white elephant Christmas party...I won the best from MP

And from my SIL...the best birthday dinner ever.
He is a wonderful cook.
My dear man died at 70....and I am still here...so far...
So lucky am I for all my good friends and family.
My mother would say...be happy you lasted so long!!!!
My daughter and her man are here now from Portland for Christmas.
My cup runneth over.

I hope I did the right Christmassy thing...

Our Dear Dylan is 7, in second grade.

Dylan sat with me and stitched 15 lid openers over a period of days

He is so proud that he did this himself for his presents.

Can you believe tonight I just checked the Susan Branch Blog to find that she did this!!!!

 He is gone every weekend to either  his mother's house or to be with his cousins.

So, tonight I stamped and pasted and tied...his presents for him.

Does this take away from Dylan doing it "all himself"?

 I think I made the right decision.

He is a boy who seldom sits still.

I am afraid that if I make him do it all, he will burn out on sewing.

 Now he can just choose the  recipients and do the delivery...

 Lynsey is 8.and in 3rd grade.  She worked with her aunt writing a project on cats.

 For her poster, she asked for some of my cat fabrics.

She cut them out and pinned them on a small design wall to take to school.

She would not let me help her at all.

This girl has a mind of her own...she has a story in her head for each fabric cat.

I wish  I could be a fly on the wall for this delivery!!

But, the independent Miss...would never, ever let me...

Back to my adorable Swedish canisters...Love!!!

Today was the day I went to my grief therapist even though I felt good.

Of course after, I felt even better.

Today was the day I got a call from the school that Lynsey needed Urgent care...

and a strep test....OMG...She was put on meds and the poor darling

has to miss the Girls on the Run finale..

A run tomorrow in the rain with 4000 other girls.

Her poor sick eyes teared up at that news.

She was so disappointed.

Tonight I am watching Hallmark Christmas movies while I sew,

And, I am not crying...Wahoo....

It is midnight and I am not morose...OMG

I think there might be hope...HOPE...just maybe...

It started with BarBara's birthday present...

A huge box of candy...ha  ha. ha

I felt loved.

My daughter is coming in 7 days. I cannot wait.

Emily coming is the best birthday present I could ever want!!

So, as for the much feared birthday...I have had a long awaited epiphany...

Instead of being  hysterical that I am turning 70...I am remembering my mother's wise words..

I am being grateful that I have lasted this long...How about that??!!!!

I am also drinking red wine.

I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to stay up late and sleep in in the morning.

Weekend joy...just for me.

xo

Just Never Leave Me Out!!!!!

Sherry's birthday party...total fun
Presents made by me..:  snack bag lined with rip stop.
Sherry loves camping...This fabric is so adorable.

 Clear plastic golden glitter...from Cousin Ann in London.
It makes a great little bag.
Both bags close with colored Velcro

Dearest of dear friends in my ALS group totally understands my grief..
She travels the very same saddest road.
Voila, the birthday present she sent me today!!!!
OMG...How does she know me so well.
xoxox BarBara

Musings:

I say Happy Holidays because I want to be included in every single celebration.

I just love a holiday and I just love a party!!!

Merry Christmas is my favorite.

I asked my son to come for a few hours this afternoon to put up the outside Christmas lights.

The minute the children got home, they got all cranky with old grandma.

You just invite Daddy over to do work when we want to play with him.
He is just here for a few hours, as it is two hours each way on the bus for him..

OMG...I can never win.
But....they were thrilled when the lights were up.

Dylan is only 7, but he is his daddy's kid...great work ethic, great ideas!!
Here he is in the tree helping arrange the lights.

Good news from my ortho guy today.

He said that he is so pleased with the x-ray results of  my hip surgery.

...... all the resting I did helped me heal.

And....now is the time to get moving...OH...NO..

I just love my recliner!!

...The joints on my other side will have to be replaced eventually,

but, for now they look good...TBTG

He agreed with my PCP, that all my fatigue was the accumulation of

my life's stressors....I do not know what they mean???

Do you??
A fun trip to IKEA with my group found these.
At about $1.57 each, they are perfect pillows for the kids to cover for teacher or thank you presents.
Way cheaper than making pillows myself.

Scandinavian...IKEA   love...

 The lights are up, the kids in bed and Stephanie and her man took  my son to the bus stop
Now, Grandma has some time alone..
Making her survival festive...this lady added pomegranates to her glass of beer...
Way to go Grandma O'Quilts!!!!

This is the season for peace...for now anyway I will enjoy
xo