So Scrappy Bad

Every quilt group I go to, I bring my little blue machine and I work on this scrap quilt.

I had a big box of 1.5 inch strips.  Monday at the Queen Bee group, I finished them all.

The next day I sized them and ironed them and started to play with them

Good thing I had this distraction.  Because..the doo doo hits the fan and I cannot stop it.

I have lost my mind twice in 3 years..Once at the pharmacy when I cried and cried and no one could console me

That was last year.  My buddy from Vietnam, the bagger had to hug me and go inside the grocery store and apologize for me.

This past weekend was the second...I cried and lamented and shut myself in the house for two days with the blinds shut as I over reacted to a school issue...Like I said last time, my Pinata broke open and it was quite a bit more stuff coming out than the school..apologies all around as I recovered.

Today is not good either.

I am just back from a 2 hour appt with the ortho guy...knee replacement scheduled June 20

Evidently it is a big deal.  My knee is so bad that my leg is bowing.

If I do not do it...Bad

If I do do it...Bad

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the death of my Mr.O'Quilts.

Bad

I am a baby with medical things.

He is not here to hold my hand.  I have to suck it up.  Not my style.

Bad

There is no chocolate in the house.

Bad, very Bad.

Did I say BAD

The personal pitiful pictureless pissy post

No pictures.

Mr.O'Quilts is so sick.  He was awake all night again,  I was up with him putting meds in his peg tube to loosen the mucus at 3 am.  Trying to suction what he should be able to cough up by himself if he did not have that nasty horrid ALS...motor neuron disease and muscles all atrophied in his throat. He is so exhausted from trying to cough

I want the calvary...but I already have it.

I have wonderful caregiver and friend Stephanie to care for my man.  She came in this morning.  I have friends to bring food and shop for us, I have fabric.  I have dear Michael who took Evan for the weekend.  I have everything.

But, the calvary cannot fix this.

Terror in my heart.

Grrrr

Ooooo  Someone is totally crabby tonight.  Himself does not want to hear it. 

 His only answer for me is to get into a project...blah blah.....

My red and white string is off the design wall and ready to be basted.  My block of the month is done and nothing is ...well..just..ugh.

Then, I realized that I do not have a cuddle quilt for the hospital ready for Guild next week.  Since the BoM was using 4 " squares, I started there with a leftover block.  I had thought that I was ready with my four inch drawer full , but somebody had put plenty of 3.5 inch strips there(: 

 Who could that be????  

 I started making random strips for four patches.   Here we have a beginning of a playpen quilt...Oh, wrong again.  No one uses playpens any more.  Sigh...Tomorrow is a different day...TBTG

Do NOT tell him, but Mr. O'Quilts was right.  Having something on the design wall makes me happy.

The Mess

My mind is a mess!  I am having concussion relapses and there is nothing I can do about it but rest.  Now, usually rest is not my style.  Today it is.  Feels a lot like ennui...hmmm

  Himself is at tennis. He deserves it after working all morning to afford my latest treat:)

 I am trying to explain to Zoey, that I have always been a cat person.  She does not care.  She jumped into my lap anyway....hmmmm

 Sitting with my fake fireplace from Aldi, with my flea market quilt and the latest Victoria book that is just my style.  And how could you have ennui with me, says Zoey??????

 I ordered online this cool and awesome Verelux full spectrum lamp.  It is perfect.  I did not want to pay so much, but, like I said, it is perfect for me in my cozy corner.

 /Doing things with grace makes me feel better.  I am using the rug mug I made from Grandma's needlepoint.

 Always Diet Coke...but caffeine free for my concussion days...doctor's orders.  And pretzels enjoyed by Zoey and me...in the old fashioned bowls from when I was a child living on Cape Cod.  Red was my mother's favorite color then.  The whole cottage kitchen was red.

 I am so over everything I am making.  I hate it all.  I am trying to finish this for Finish it up Friday...but I do not want to.  And, I do not want to change the thread to start something new...hmmm

My darling old Milito has this large and growing 3 inch tumor on his hip...no pain, but not nice

 UPS has sent my package to Greensboro instead of to me....Tomorrow is my day...patience is my foe...

Writing my therapy post on this gloomy, rainy day makes me feel better already. I think I will cut the binding for the above quilt...I am ready:)  Then back to my chair to r.e.s.t....hmmm  And like my mother and sister are so fond of saying...."No sniveling"....Ha!!