Thursday, April 16, 2015

New life...for him and for me...

The separate journeys begin.....I am befuddled.
My daughter found this great picture of her Irish sports minded father.
 

I walk around in a daze.  I called the home health agency with an urgency that they pick up the hospital bed and Hoyer lift immediately... because looking at it was too hard.
Then, they came and I cried that they were dismantling my life..God help me...
Family from Ireland is coming in today, flowers, food, family and friends surround us.
The remains are going to Ireland for another service there.
My broken heart cannot grasp the huge loss.

From the simple service I had hoped for, now evolves an Irish ensemble, Irish dancers as greeters, anticipation of at least 300 people and out of town friends.
Of course for my dear, this is really what should happen...He was so Irish and so loved.
 His brother is doing the service. Even my brother is coming.
I want it to all go away, but reality is here..I have my smelling salts, my grit and my love for my dear man.

 I ordered my big girl panties..but they have not arrived yet.  I ordered xxxx large because I will need that.
Sherry and Stephanie put the rug back on the floor so the room looks like a room.
The school counselors are working with the children at school.

When I was shredding files, I found this great article from Quilters Newsletter, May 1994.  I see now why I kept the article, It is perfect.  Quilting for Solace.  I wish there was a link to it so all of you could read it.  For me...it is what quilting is all about...giving.

Thank you all for the comments and the love.
xxoo

16 comments:

Rachaeldaisy said...

Oh Dear Diane, Sending you lots of love.

smazoochie said...

Sweetheart, please accept that this is hard & you will be a conflicting mass of emotions. LEAN ON OTHERS -- your family, friends, hospice & ALS professionals. You are alone, but you are not alone being alone, if that makes sense.
I'm hugging you, can you feel it?

Karen Barry said...

I've only just found your blog and my heart is breaking for you. ALS is one of the cruelest diseases there is. God bless you for the care you gave your man.all one wants at the end is to die surrounded by love and family and you provided that.

elsy said...

so so sad to read your news....heartbreaking....sending love and strength across the pond

Debby said...

My MIL too wanted to be at home for her last days with us. My husband called within an hour after her passing to have ALL of the medical equipment moved out of the house. We needed to remember "Her" not the illness. Continued thoughts and prayers for you and the children

Mary Ann Fogleman said...

Diane,
My deepest sympathy for your profound loss. Your writing is so eloquent and beautiful. I love the xxxxx big girl panties!

Karaquilts said...

Ditto to everything said above. You are a person who draws others to your side and now you can be blessed by all the ones you have blessed.

A long time ago I read a series of books and the author called this moment of your life "the second half of marriage" ~ ~ Your heart will carry his love with you every moment and he will live on through all of you who have loved him so much. Just take one little tiny moment at a time, and when that is too much, take an even smaller one. and breathe. That is really all you HAVE to do right now. Let others do the "stuff"

Oh, I wish I could be there for you and with you. more and more hugs.

Doris said...

I felt EVERY ONE of your feelings... just let them come, let the tears wash over you. Apologize for nothing. Your relationship with him was different than anyone else's--not more important or less important--but different. And after the funeral and burial, YOU are the one left without your "roommate" for life. Your's is the life with the daily absence.

Love to you, Diane

Doris said...

I felt EVERY ONE of your feelings... just let them come, let the tears wash over you. Apologize for nothing. Your relationship with him was different than anyone else's--not more important or less important--but different. And after the funeral and burial, YOU are the one left without your "roommate" for life. Your's is the life with the daily absence.

Love to you, Diane

Cathy said...

Diane I am so sorry. I had the hospital equipment quickly moved from my house too. You are not alone.

Alcea Rosea 31 said...

Go with how you feel, there is no right or wrong way to be.
Hugs

Michele Bilyeu said...

Love to you and your children and grandchildren. Lots and lots and lots of love.

Michele Bilyeu said...

Love to you and your children and grandchildren. Lots and lots and lots of love.

Ellen Guerrant said...

Sending love and huge hugs to you, Diane, in your grief and sadness. May God grant you peace and grace. xo Ellen.

Meredith CaldwellNall said...

I worked with Fintan for many years at CHS during his time in IS. He was a wonderful colleague and will never be forgotten by those people he impacted in his everyday life.

Please see the comments on a Facebook post I shared to see what others are saying about Fintan. He truly was a remarkable man. https://www.facebook.com/mcaldwellnall/posts/10153846138372575

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this most difficult time.

Joanie's Trendy Quilts said...

Oh Diane I am so sorry to hear about your man! May God comfort you during this difficult time! Sending hugs and love your way!