Monday, January 30, 2017

It Will all Be OK

Frozen waterfall in Bend, Oregon

The fun times are there.
Stress desires a frozen waterfall.. Please, Oh, Please..I want some too.
My son started Methadone on the way to Suboxone.
 His boss drove  him , gave him a room and knows nothing about addiction
He knows about hope and love.

The boss is driving him each day to the Center to get his pills.
 My son pays for it with his wages.
The boss said that he really needs him to work...That he does good work... so do good.
I am so proud of my son and his boss
They have not given up hope.

Here: a great post for political history: Gefilte quilt blog
Cathy's post marks history in the best creative way..I gotta figure out this one too..Thank u Cathy

In Bend, there are snow parks for snow shoeing, etc
The two travelers are now on their way to Portland.

I had a really rough grief day...
I need my Dear Man so much,
If he were here with me now
He would say:
It will all be OK, Sweetheart..,
 Remember, We still have each other.

Only we don't

Friday, January 27, 2017

Grandma evidently survives almost anything...She makes friends with the wolf...

Today's hospital visit from 11am to 4pm...
Thought you would just love to see it all..
The before and after...drugged on Hydrocodone. She admires her new Bandaid.
Bandage stays on until follow up visit next Friday.
It would not last a whole week at my house, so I dressed it up a bit with duct tape.
It surely fits in with the O'Quilts constant drama.
Always feeling dotty!!
Big hand surgeon cut off half of the fingernail of my right index finger.
Then he was able to pull the needle right back out. No stitches!
Voila...The hole is still in the needle.
Ready to re-use..NO...
Memorabilia?  NO
Garbage!!  YES!!

I have been home 5 hours.  Common sense tells me to choose bed over sewing..,Ha!!
Big thanks to Drenna for picking me up and feeding me...Sheila for taking me to the hospital..twice!!
For the things I learned from the five new friends  I made today on the medical staff..and the countless encouraging notes from friends all over.
Thanks..for angels, the hand of God
 and for my dearest Mr O'Quilts, whose spirit gave me strength

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Showing off

Death and Grief may do me in, but...not so much a needle!!!
Mostly it does not really hurt any more.  I kind of want to leave it in there,
My claim to fame.
Doctor said, No...they are so afraid of infection...true, it is still darker.
and warmer than the other wouldn't it be awful if ..
it became infected and went to my new knee??
So, I go to the finger hospital.
 I made these two potholder scrap tops...per our MQG
After 2, the finger starts to ache,,,,,no water past midnight!!

 Just showing the needle that I could!
Thanks to all the notes and volunteers of my friends.
Maybe tomorrow I will not be able to type.
So, I am doing it now...

Mrs. O'Quilts, there will be NO cursing, maybe crying, but no bad words.

The midnight quilting hour Sunday night has left a size 80/12 universal sewing machine needle tightly wadded in my index finger.
It broke at the neck of the needle, leaving all the rest in my finger,
It is so ensconced, that the 3 hours spent in the hand surgeon's office today
was to no avail.
 He could not get it out. It has even touched the see.
Not that he tried,.  the x-ray clearly told him so.

This means an out-patient surgery for me tomorrow at noon.
I just cannot believe it.
This time I will not inconvenience my poor sister who works 24/7.
Sheila will drop me off.
When I am ready to go, I will give my friends a call!!!
I am not a patient person.
And to think that I lecture my dear daughter on safe occupations.
Instead of snow- shoeing , climbing mountains with cliffs and rattlesnakes..
My girl should be sewing!!!!!

Monday, January 23, 2017

As the World Turns

Happy 32nd birthday, son.
We had a great visit yesterday,
You were in wonderful shape
I am grateful.
Your new boss called me last night
He told me that you were the best worker ever.
I am proud.
 I had a lovely dinner last night with Ms Katie.
She is 3 months a widow, feeling this pain that never goes away.
It did not keep us from having a a night out and a few laughs.
I came  home to start sewing... Around midnight, I was finishing these postcards when I put the sewing machine needle right through the nail of my index finger.
I went to the bathroom to remove the needle and find the Peroxide where....
I promptly fell backwards on the big white tiles of the big bathroom floor.
Could not get up
Where is my man??????
I need him.
Nothing broken   TBTG
Everything hurts...
Today it all hurts worse.
I had to scream to wake up Evan who helped me up
I know It could have been worse.
But I am feeling sorry for my sad self.
Very sorry.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Once again she is... Crabby McNasty

I think that this will be the answer.
First of all , I am not a purist.
All this fabric is not reproduction Civil War.
Second...this is not a really, really outstanding quilt.. It is a work of love.
It is special because of the signatures and blocks of my friends.

I am done with it.  I will finish the borders tomorrow.
Hoping that my Wednesday night group will baste this and my zigzag this week.

A lovely, fun and laughing lunch with my widow friends...TBTG
Home for the bus, Lynsey threw an absolutely ridiculously enormous fit because her brother won at paper, scissors, whatever...and got the red paper cup  of smoothie instead of the green
Sigh, poor grandma.
According to the 7 year old,  Grandma is lacking...because Olivia's Nanna is a doctor and a very good one.
She fixed Lynsey's boo boo perfectly.
God help me.

To our dearest Michele....I am grateful for your wisdom.
Thank  you.

“Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things break. And all things can be
mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.”---L. R. Knost

Please join me in active acts of love and kindness as well as prayer and meditation.
Let us become a community that manifests light in the darkness of this world.

I took this quote and clip from:
Michele Bilyeu
at  Hearts and Hands

So I want to be like Michele...Instead I am crabby as all get out.
Why??  You might ask.
It is because of the computer!!
If my love were would be fixed by now and I would also have a hug and kiss to boot!!!
Alas...he is not here and I am screaming in distress and frustration.
It is because Evan went on to the google account and changed my settings to some school settings, and I have to figure things out again.
It is because his drama teacher sent me an email that he might fail drama.
He told her that he did not ask for drama, that his school counselor and his grandmother put him in it.
 He told her that he was not going on stage.  Today was the last day in drama and she said she could be failing him...OMG
Goodbye went the X-box...hello came the typing up of the project that he said he could not do.
Hello came the typed apology...
Hello came the phone call from his school mentor explaining how going along with a teacher..or explaining your stage fright  might be more helpful than saying no..outright.
Back on went the X-box because he did it and it is Friday night.
Off went the X-box when I realized that he had not made the index cards he was supposed to be making for the last test of the language arts..
To bed went the boy who  was very very tired after all the drama and a good session of Karate, black belt workout.
Stephanie is still sick, so I went to Karate.
I was so amazed at how great they were..
Legs kicking high, form great, It was unbelievable..
So proud again...
How can I pay if forward if I am so crabby.
Do not tell me to just go to bed!!!!!
Tell me to go eat chocolate.
Hmmm I think I found the Oreos that Evan's mother bought him yesterday.
He owes me anyway.
Don't you think??

Thursday, January 19, 2017

New Post, Old Post

The sixth grader..slouches, earplugs in...all absorbed in winding bobbins!!

We now celebrate our dear Evan
Teachers report that today he has re-taken his exams and done very well.
We all freaked when our A student failed two finals...
He just did not know how to study.
Now I am getting emails on how smart, such a good worker...etc..
Bursting with pride.
Tonight, he fretted that he...does not like the "no weekday " electronic rule!
All the children take advantage of Grandma's rules when Mommy visits....
including Mommy.
I gave Evan a consequence of going to bed 30 min early tonight,
or missing the electronics on Friday night.
He chose the boy.
He was at odds.with "nothing to do".
Alas..after much moping...he decided to fill bobbins for me and use the radio to help him.
He took the radio from up stairs, plugged it into his I-pad, attached his earplugs to the I-pad, 
The radio was plugged in to the wall.
The I-pad was plugged into the radio.
The earplugs were plugged into the I-pad
The earplugs were plugged into the boy....for music....and..
Evan was plugged into his.sewing machine.
Quite a sight...
My Grandboy WOUND 31 bobbins for me on his own sewing machine as I sat at the computer.
He chose what  colors a quilter should need.
So helpful.
OOPs...time gone by so fast missing bedtime
Old grandma was totally happy with her blind eye.
Time well spent.

Big problem..
Evan said that he could not sew because I dumped all my stuff on his sewing table!!
Really, who would do that.????
Now...his table is all clean, bobbins all wound and neat.
and MY table,, MY sewing room MY big awful mess..
Grandma promised not to mess HIS table again....
I so wish I had  bought more chocolate ice cream.
I just might have promised the impossible.

Another block made for a friend...It is called 30's Pinwheel in a square!
Fun and easy...

, I am auditioning more choices for my Civil War sampler.
I hate what I had planned before..
 I see this strip is too dark.
Sometime it takes putting it out there to see the mistake,
And to share the process with all the world.. to see.

When my Dear Man died, I took his "hospital" room for my second quilting room
I thought, for sure that I would have so much space..
I would  be tidy forever.
God help me, I need organizational help.(among other things)

The spring in Charlotte...the summer for Lynsey
The fall for my one knowing the winter was soon.
It is Time to Say Goodbye
 My love I miss  you so...
 My favorite photo.

Mother, with your quick wit and your beloved words, your big heart of love.
I never knew that you were old.
This picture was you!!  Yes, you....coming home from lunch bunch in February.
You fell from your wheelchair in May, the day before your birthday.
Maybe 93 was old for some, but not for my mother.
Life as I knew it, was shattered in an instant.
The Prayer

Then...The Rose
The pain of loss and the comfort of grace..
Always with me every second of every day.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

The Unexpected Dash.

Mrs. O'Quilts was a busy lady today.
Children up and at um at 6:30, bus at 7;15.
Evan up at 7:30. He made his lunch.
He left at 8.  Clean teeth, clean body, clean clothes.
All by himself...the growing up 6th grader...Wonder what her name is...Ha!!
Grandma slept, ate lunch out and slept some more.
.Karate, then..Oh, my...
Two teachers emailed me that my dear boy  had failed the final exam.
Hmmmm...He had been doing so well.
But the new Christmas X-box one...has had an obsessive influence.
Bam..goes technology on school nights...Waaa..waaa.
Next:  Three hours showing the darling how to study for a re-take..
We were both exhausted.
This was sad as he has had an A in both classes.  This brings it all down to Bs
He cried.
Tomorrow, he will hit the studying the minute the bus comes home.
Quiet now...sewing.

Today's treat...The return of the churn dash..
Picture does not do justice to the lovely softness of this block.
My fox has been on my door design wall for a few years...OMG
At the retreat, I was able to secure it with a blanket stitch.
Now it is ready to be put into a baby quilt.
 I worked on the border for my group sampler at my retreat.
It was annoying to make this border.
I was thrilled.  Now that I am home, I see it is way too busy.
Starting again, I must make a simple border for this sampler.
Good news.:
My son called.  Someone approached him while he was flying his sign for money.
The man asked him if he wanted to work.
Oh, yes, he said.  My son is a wonderful worker.
He has already worked an entire week. He sleeps no charge in the man's work trailer.
He has made an appointment with us to see his children Sunday in the park.
A day of hope.
So it goes...

Monday, January 16, 2017

Back from Super Fun Quilting Retreat with my peeps.

Getting ready for this trip, I went to Trader Joe's
I was humming along, picking out treats for the retreat.
Out of the blue, I burst into tears at the cash register.,
Then, I told my story.
They gave me flowers.
I wanted to cry but I could not.  I was already crying.
MP....a dear friend to us all...provided much needed respite for a three day weekend to quilt...quilt...and her mountain house..I just got home this evening.
The Adventure of Grief......TED
Here we all are..:  9 sewing machines and 10 women.
The oldest member will be 100 in June, so she does not have a machine any more.

The top of the driveway leading to the lake.
Here, my darlings, Boo and Stitch, wait for me to get home.
Minnie is wearing Mickey pajama..... on sewing in your jammies day
Here are some of the projects I worked on:
The divided four patch...Tute found on Missouri Star.
I hated making it.  Too I only made 9 for maybe a medallion later on.

 I had a million or so, solid charms cut out already, so I switched to this:
Much easier and more relaxing..
Drenna made this baby quilt from scratch to finish...
She did such a wonderful job..

At least five of us were working on disappearing 9 patch...I will show you next time.
They are all so different.
R and needed and so much fun.
I only cried once.
Since fun is so exhausting...I am off to bed.
Thank  you MP  and a big thanks for the support of my quilting peeps

Saturday, January 7, 2017

It is a God thing

The snowy day project.
Instead of finishing the multitude of unfinished...just sayin'
Tonight, I started something new.
I have a million, or so pre-cuts that I got from online sales while in despair..
I found these tonight and started "Jelly Beans"  from Thimble Blossoms.
Of course, flying by the seat of my pants, as I do....I did not read the directions and put the corners on...all wrong.
Tomorrow is another iced in day.
The Charlotte snow day left us with barely a half an inch of snow..and plenty of ice.
Of course, school. closed on Monday.  The South cannot handle much winter weather.  Stephanie and Stasi cannot get into the neighborhood to help...All frozen out ...
Old tired me, with three young children and four animals..."snowed in"  ha ha.
I almost had a heart attack when I found the internet and TV with no power.
But the God thing kept the electricity on and soon the rest resumed.
Oh, well....we are doing the best we can.
I found the hidden Halloween candy..It .makes it so much easier..
Here we have the kids sledding with Zoe....Trying to make the most of a little bit of snow.
.My idea of joy...a nap by the fabric..
Evan wants to be a mechanical engineer...He put two flashlights into a green water cup..voila.
This may not be engineering stuff, but it is creative and that is what counts.

Guess what????
I have not talked to my son in forever.
We are having a snow storm and temperatures of 5 degrees F
Of course, I imagined my smart and kindhearted wonderful son
frozen to the pavement in his homeless location.
Alas...He called tonight quite chipper.
While flying his sign on the highway...
He saw a girl he knew from UNCC
She stopped and gave him a hotel for 4 nights
$50 gift card to the grocery store and $20.
He called from there to tell me not to worry.
He had a shower for the first time in a month.
It is a God thing.
The stories;
#1..I decided to call my mother's best friend to wish her Happy New Years.
She is 95 and lives alone.
It was in reaching out to someone else, that the gift became mine.
She knew my family well thru chats with my girl friends do.
She lost her own son a few years back from tongue cancer.
On this call, she leveled my mind.
She told me that the stress of the children still living now with their parents,
would be much worse for me, than the stress of them being here with Grandma.
Got me thinking...she was right.
From age 95, she told me that life was hard..for all of us.
She told me that she woke up one morning when she was young and her husband
was dead in the bed beside her..a heart attack..She had young children.
She said that when people ask her how she is...She always smiles and says "fine".
And when she says "fine". 
 It becomes  fine.
I do not know about that.....but..
I felt like I was talking to my mother again.

#2. I went to Walmart to prepare for this storm..
I live tucked in the woods with all my dogs and cats and three grands.
If it snows, I cannot get  up out of my driveway, nor can I get up out of my neighborhood.
I bought ice melt, dog food, cat litter, etc.
Sustenance for the family:  candy canes on sale for 27 cents, after Christmas sales.
Old Grandma needed help loading the supplies into the car.
Along came Tye, my very favorite of all workers there.
As he loaded, we chatted.
He and his 4 siblings were raised by his Grandmother.
She was 70 when she took them.
She died last  year at 95.  His tears welled.
Tye is 25.
I gave him the grandmotherly lecture of going back to school.
We chatted about happenstance and the hand of God,
about serendipity and this crazy life.
The term, "old soul" came to mind.
Really, if you have it at 25, for sure you will have it forever.
He is happy and positive and helping.
Our chat outside of Walmart gave me hope.
Tye was the breath of fresh air that I needed that morning.

Someone told me once that when I was whining that I had no one and no support, etc.
Good Lord am I a great whiner...!!
He said that I was looking in the wrong places.
He was right.  I am now looking everywhere..grateful..
and doing the best I can.

A Southern Snow Day....thank you Paula

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Quilting for Solace

For my birthday...from Katie...a gift cert to Hawthorne threads...Oh, my
Look at the loot.  Adorable fabric...
This introduced me to a new to me fabric site.
I am so happy......cannot wait to cut into this.

I am sewing...4 inch
 and finishing...
I put the binding on these two quilts yesterday..
Done and gifted already.
The sweater that was too sizes too small for me with wool holes.
I could not bare to let it go..Here we go with still another pincushion.
Not about to be left alone on New Year's Eve,  after my birthday fiasco..
 I invited a few quilters from my widow's group..We are trying to find a name a bit more classy than the Wine-ing Widows quilting club...ha ha..
..Here are three of us anyway..The sleepy old women went home at 8.  Ha!!Ha!!

You know I should never post at night...dismal loneliness on missing my man
creeps up and grabs me by the heart... I am not used to whining in silence...
So, here we go!
The children came home today from their cousins' house.
They cannot wait to go and they cannot wait to come home.
Just like most of us.
Saintly Stephanie was  here on a minute...yeah!!
Widow group goes out to dinner next Friday.
Grandma O'Quilts has no baby sitter.
Oh, well...It is worth it to be with my darlings.,after all
I just had 6 days off.  I slept all day today to get ready!!!

The eleven year old pretty much takes care of himself with lots of neighborhood friends.
He just has a bit of a mouthy nature...pre-adolescent.
The two little ones need more care.

Hilarious, Dylan turns 7 in February.  I say to him...Oh, No...please do not turn 7,
I just love  you being 6,
 He says back...I will try not to, Grandma, but I might have to...So adorable..

Fighting off despair tonight with Charlie Pride on U-tube and making a dolly quilt.
My mother always said, when you feel badly something nice for someone else.
Thank you Mom...again..

Sunday, January 1, 2017

From Thailand with Love , Happy New Year!!

A delivery for New Year's to make it so special!
 For our New Year cheer and my birthday,  came a myriad of surprises.
My heart and girl...From elephant land came:
Fabric...and more...
Treats...I especially love the little round circles.
Since I am starting to feel better, I am actually brushing my hair and...
caring a bit more about how I look..Voila.... a necklace and more.
A stunning shawl...
Voile...shawl..or table runner or fabric to use and pet and love...
Love, especially..
Fabric...two yards yard for my sister and one yard for me!!
I already washed each piece alone with a piece of white cloth..
No color bleeding...Perfect!
She sent Thai chips and snacks in a big exciting box.
for the children.
I opened it at midnight on New Year's Eve.

I have let go of a lot of illusion of control in my life...
I am working on acceptance of life on life's terms..Grief has humbled me.
I am even eating veggies
This package is the beginning of good things for the New Year for our family.
So grateful for these past days to rebuild my emotional strength.
So grateful for my girl.

PS..I saw a college age girl at a store the other day.
She was wearing a sweatshirt in Yale colors.
But, instead of Yale, it said