Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Tell Me a Story...a Good One Please!!

Good Story:
I am sewing!!
Good Story:
Sixteen year old Pumpkin likes to sit beside me in the new basket I fixed for her.
Good Story:
MP asked for some of my Guatemalan fabric to make pillows for her sofa.
I shared cuz I love MP and because of my new awareness that I cannot take it with me!!
She has made these two awesome....
Good Story:
My son went to Detox last night.  He said he was  hoping that a bed in rehab would come up after that.
I told him that he would have to use his charm for rehab, I could not afford to help him with $$$.
But, if he did all that, I would front him the money for the first month of a halfway house until he got a job.
Now, we have been down this road a million times...but.....God Please.....

Good Story:
Today, despite 100 degrees, I walked to the end of the street and back.
Feebly I walked the my home, instead of the chair lift.
First time in forever.
I have scheduled three fun events for this upcoming free weekend.
So thrilled.

Funny Story:
Lynsey, age 7 hit her 6 year old brother yesterday morning.
She spent her camp day awaiting consequences....ha!
When Ms Stephanie picked her up, she reported that she had told her entire group at camp
that she was in trouble...and queried as to their consequences when they got into trouble.
Well!!!  Said Ms. Lynsey..
.NONE of them have to clean toilets and wipe down walls when they get into trouble..
.Sooo funny that girl...
Whatever....Lynsey... we do not hit.

Good Story:
I have amazing friends...Thank you Drenna and Sherrie...

Good Story:
There are only 4 more days until my girl and Ms Muggs come home..TBTG

I am delighted to report that there are some good stories around....
There is nothing like a good story...especially between the sad ones..

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Stormy Weather

Random love from yesteryear...
This quilt...gifted to my friend Judy.
 Newborn Lynsey, now 7..
Granddaddy, Lynsey and 11
My favorite cat, Milito...insisting who is boss....Milito long gone too
 Eamon and Lynsey...OMG..all seem so young
Eamon was there at all the births...helping lift her out..
My DIL...sisters
 Multitasking Granddaddy
 My favorite snowball

Oh..Grief...Why now??
This morning after taking the three children to their camp,
I came home and sat in my recliner, blinds down.
One black dog at my feet, one yellow cat on my lap.
I napped. I cried. I sat. I napped again.
At noon I rolled out of my chair for lunch.

I shook myself and checked my daily list.
I bought new tennis shoes.
I walked less than 10 minutes on the treadmill.
I felt hopeless at it and very very very sore.
(Not having walked in 5/6 years...ouch)
I bought two tomatoes for $3...ouch again.
I had my hair cut.
I read Dylan a story or 5.
I called an app store lady in the Philippines who taught me how to remove an app from my phone???
Then how to re-install the new one..!!!
I did it...after 10 long instructional minutes...

I could not throw off the despair.
15 months gone vs. 37 years together.
I see my dear man everywhere.
I looked for all my gratitude.
I found it plentiful.
Doom persisted.
I could not sew.
I did not eat ice cream, nor chocolate.
Instead I am telling the world.
I am telling you.

Monday, July 25, 2016

Camera Happy

Lordy...I am a point and shoot kind of woman!!
My broken $250 camera with lost warranty..was a hated camera.
Now, my new $100 Canon so
Last night the energy came to me to sew this backing for the cuddle quilt.
I just hated to use up my zebras.
I have finally grasped that there is no trailer hitch on the hearse!!
 Halloween fabric cheers anyone!!  I want to start another Halloween quilt. many flimsys to far to go.  I need 100 Sit-and-Sews to cheer me on.
Tomorrow I will get my new tennis shoes and try the tread mill..
.Ok..tomorrow I will get the shoes(:
I certainly do not want to get carried away.
I went to a wine tasting tonight with my widow's group at someone's house.
A small sip of 10 wines...Hmmm good thing Stephanie gave me an 8:30 curfew.
And, good thing my friend lives 5 minutes from my house.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

The Missing Piece..just an O'Quilt's Ramble broken new camera and mud brain cannot find the receipt nor the warranty...
So no pix and new camera to be bought tomorrow...a cheap one...OMG
But, Aunt Brandy to the picture rescue with this adorable quilt..from where I do not know.
Just too cute.

Moping me got a huge lift this evening... dinner out with a friend.  Mexican of course.
This friend is quite a motivational out of your recliner, walk, go to the gym, get a grip..etc..
Had to walk to the restaurant from a far away parking spot.  Really????  But I did it!!!
I keep looking for my cane of 5 years...I keep thinking I cannot walk..but I can...such a miracle.

Television has rarely been part of my style....Until I was in high school, we did not even have it.  In seventh grade I came home from school to find the broken TV on the trash heap, never to be replaced.
With two pit bulls, one lab,one German Shepherd, one alarm system, and three grandchildren....
I am rarely alone.
Now-a-days..sometimes this widow just turns on Netflix and watches a silly movie.
I feel guilty.  I should be doing, not being.
  Is there not something to be cleaned or cooked or studied or sewn...
perhaps a literary book to learn from or a fabric to be cut.
New territory here as life throws me curve balls.  Trying to just do what I feel like doing.
Just trying to be...It is a whole new me!!

I saw my son today at visitation...He was in good shape..TBTG  I was so relieved.
.At least tonight I am motivated to patch a backing for the jelly roll baby quilt.
Tuesday is senior day at the shoe tennis shoes then to walk...crazy..
Did you know that August is almost here????????

Thursday, July 21, 2016

The no pix, broken camera...etc... I just could not do it...a no picture I found these older  pictures....
I like them too.
Going to Target tomorrow to look at a new camera...always something.
Snowball with Grandma's embroidery.
A fun kids quilt
Just a another kids cool one..

So a story without a picture can still be a good story...right??? Of course, I just could not do
How about coming home from the pool and finding a half a dead rabbit on the porch right by the back door????
Like thank you Zoe...such a wonderful dog...500 squirrels 0 for Zoe...
But, one rabbit yes...good good Zoe...hmmmm, cough...OMG
It got better when my DIL went outside to clean it up with a shovel.
She found the rabbits head lying on a chair..wahoo..Zoe...Really???
NO kisses for you tonight!!!!

Good Grandma allowed herself to sit in her recliner and think and doze this morning after the pool exercise.
The former grandma would have felt lazy...this is the new grandma...realizing that her knee may feel great, but is still in trauma...and certainly her psyche is in whatever...
I did it.
This evening, I took care of self with a stroll through Marshalls and a Naranon meeting with friends.
They all said that I looked younger with more energy...What did I do????
Hello...a new knee and no more chronic pain.
I had no idea it had been so bad. Normalizing chronic pain is so not good.

But good is being able to trust...for DIL watching her very own children while I get my life back.
So humming along.
Kids are doing so well in the most wonderful camp in the world...Camp Mindy at the JCC.
We are indeed a lucky family.
Evan has been invited to a sleepover Saturday night and the other two are going to a movie...invited by their school teacher...Like wow!!!  
Stephanie is is coming to help out as my balance is still not so good.

This morning grief swallowed me.
Tonight I am coming to the realization that my love with Mr. O'Quilts was something that many people never have.  I am so grateful for what I had...It has framed me for this last part of my life.
While before I had thought I would have died of a broken heart...that did not was not my choice.
Tonight I realize that my man lives inside of me.
He gives me the energy to carry on and make the best of this next part.

Talk about a mood swing..  I guess that is what it takes.
My mother had told me to look deep within myself to find the core of who I was ...whether or not I called it God or not. and I would be ok...It is just taking so so so long.

I found three police officers tonight to pass out the gift cards to...Stephanie and the kids also found one.
It is so good to give thanks.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

The Party and the Pain

It was MP birthday party tonight at Wednesday night quilting.
 I made the family cake...with my grandmother's chocolate frosting.
  I used her little bird candle holders and her beautiful embroidered cloth that my mother and grandmother saved forever and never  used...OMG.
Happy Birthday MP

 I had no present cuz I was in quite a funk today about losing my old man.
So at 4:30 I started on this.  Made all of vinyl and laminate,
 it is perfect for MP to take out on her boat.
I finished it 45 minutes before the party because I did not leave myself enough time for mistakes..OMG
Picking stitches out of vinyl is tough going.....grrr
This is a clear vinyl window with the owls on the inside of the bag..
....figured that MP was a wise old owl by now.
 Voila.. her mother in an awesome picture book M made on Shutterfly...
I wish I could figure out how to do that for my grands...Unfortunately, it is not in my skill set...
At 99, it seems like Margaret had a million parties.
She was even right here tonight for her own daughter's party!!!
You go Margaret....
Of course, there is more......
The Second Year of Grief
I really just cannot get a grip...I keep on seeing my love in his hospital bed with his breathing mask on and the feeding tube and suction tube...all paralyzed ....
These flashbacks coming now, 15 months??.

TBTG I have a great therapist and great friends and family...
That the second year can be harder???

I am holding on, especially with the good knee news....
My knee quirk was just a pull of a bit of scar tissue.
It is now awesome again..
I think that I am going to make tomorrow a potholder day!!!!!

Monday, July 18, 2016

Just so you know......

Evan and Grandma hanging out over the sewing machine...
How nice is this??
Just so you do not think I am a quilting slacker...Voila...
The first cuddle, baby quilt flimsy made from the jelly roll top created at the nursing home..

Today was the day....ripped out of my black hole by an invitation to lunch...Yummy Mexican..Since I was raised up in Arizona...just gotta love that Mexican food.
1900 Mexican Grill...on Park Charlotte, NC
I was feeling so cocky with my new knee and no cane...that I took it further...
Yup. I went to the Sleepy Poet Antique Mall...I walked the entire thing for the first time in 5 years.
Not even tired...I did notice, however, that something felt like it ripped in my knee when I  bent it a bit...
It was sore...I iced it, once home....actually, it is still sore...
.OMG  How could I rip my perfect new knee...???
How can that happen after 5 weeks???????
Should I freak out???   After all....that is my
I am freaking out!!!

I bought a gift for a friend.
I found a piece of vintage fabric...4 yards for $6.50...
35 inches that is vintage for sure...
And I bought two necklaces.
 They are not vintage...but since this is the first time in over 3 years that I actually am starting to care about how I look...I felt that was success.

A good freaking out more about my knee...

Saturday, July 16, 2016

"Grandma" is a grown-up name!

I cannot do it, said the whiner...I have a bad shoulder.
But do it, she did...shoulder and all.
I covered my ironing board with fresh new fabric from IKEA!!
Duct tape is my favorite wonder tape!!
 I love this..!!
Here are the all done potluck covers...
Thanks to my Wednesday night group who pulled thru all the elastics!!!!
Here I am...alone for the weekend...being a grown-up!
Yup...went to the library and looked for an hour thru some quilting books.
It was quiet and I had a beautiful view!
Also, I walked in without a cane...did so fine...
Went to visit two friends at their shops..
Came home with so much energy.
Went to my meeting in the rain...but used my cane..
Good Grandma!!
Big, bad thunderstorms...
I am having a surprisingly hard time with grief lately.
I just see my love everywhere...missing him with despair!!!
Proud of grown up Grandma..getting out of the house and
just getting things done!!!

Thursday, July 14, 2016

What you need to know,.... and Mor'......

Today is 15 months a hard to believe.

Free sandwich day at Chick-Fil-A... If you dress like a cow, you get a free lunch.
Ms Stephanie took the kids 
They took their black Karate shirts and pinned white paper spots...Yeah creative Stephanie!!!

A lovely piece from the blog of Michele Bilyeu
We were made for these times

and a funny....
It has been Lonely in the Saddle since my Horse Died

I have been to the pool 3x this week...Oh, yeah...Grandma...!!!
Knee getting better every day.
Crazy grief still hangs here at the O'Quilt's house.
Shows itself at night in sobs.
Oh, Mr. O...Why did you leave me so???

My girl left yesterday for a much needed two week vacation to see her husband's family.
Grands are just loving loving Camp Mindy at the J.
I love Camp Mindy too!!!

Then of course...there would be more:

We had a family meeting to discuss police officers and the race issue in our country.
We discussed all the different sides and that most police officers are nice..Police of all colors are nice...mostly. They  make very little money and put their lives on the line to protect us.  I had bought the 10 $5 gift cards to randomly give to police when we saw them..and say, according to the children,
 "Thank you for being a nice cop".
Then I asked them if they thought police officers were good or bad.
OMG...Grandma walked right into that one.
Evan and Lynsey put their hands over their ears and said NO...Evan did not want to talk about police.
Trauma from the past when they lived with their parents came swishing in...
Police arrested Mommy and Daddy.
No...Mommy and Daddy did nothing wrong...OMG
Lynsey cried., Evan was about to.
When I first took guardianship of the children, they use to scream..."duck" when a police car came by.
.  Discussion...can we love someone who makes bad choices.?..
They would not take their hands off their ears.
Lynsey and Evan have agreed to go back to trauma therapy.
Dylan is too young...he missed it all.
They love their parents so much...but...
Mommy misses visitation because of work and sickness.
Daddy is living homeless in the woods shooting up Heroin and holding a sign.

The very very good news is that the Muldoon family has a wonderful support system.!!!!
The children agreed to give the cards out to cops
..Ms Stephanie has some in her purse and so do I.
We are all waiting for the chance.
Since Chick-Fil-A gives a 50% discount to should work out.

Now if I could just get off this computer and sew...I would feel


Saturday, July 9, 2016

Happy and More

Lookie, lookie says the cookie....
You will soooo love this link!!!!
Friends Furever
Here is the jelly roll top I made in the rehab nursing home, while on Hydrocodone...See..
With a bit of fabric and a sewing machine....I can be forever free...!!
A bag of 2.5 inch strips...all used up.  I think I will have to cut this top into three quilts tops...
Will try to get some help from my Wednesday night group!!  LOL
What do you all think?
 Made in the Nursing home as well....potholders...!!!!  My meditation:)
Today I walked to the end of my street for the first time in 3 years.
Today I went to Hancock Fabric's going out of business sale..
Nothing to buy...but I had to blow a kiss of remembrance and use my new knee.
Today I did not cry.
Today was almost 100 degrees.  It did not stop Ms Stephanie from taking the children to the
neighborhood picnic.
Soon, I am going to my Naranon meeting for the first time in a month.
Today, I drove twice with no dizzy!
Tonight the grands's mother...pretty and clean and sober almost two and a half years. is the babysitter..
Bring it on...Bring on a pretty good day now...
Maybe I will even get some $5 gift cards from Chic-fil-A to hand out to police officers that I see.
Where would we be without them...Just a few bad apples making the news and a million good ones to keep us safe.  They earn nothing...nada.. It touched me that the Dallas police chief said that most days police are not uplifted.
Tonight I will continue to clean my sewing table..
Here I am Lord

Thursday, July 7, 2016

The Rose

Just a few bowl covers without the elastic yet!!

Please tell me why the great success of my knee surgery brings
a huge wave of grief....This is how it goes:
"Honey...Guess what?...I can walk now...Take my hand and let's do
all those things we wanted to do in retirement...Oh!! Too late!!
You are dead...stolen by ALS!

Just remember, in the winter
far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed, that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose.

Time to Say Goodbye
Lyrics to Time to Say Goodbye

Wednesday, July 6, 2016


..I saw my beloved knee surgeon today....Our very own, Dr. McCoy at OrthoCarolina...OMG.
.I was released for driving.
I was released from physical therapy.
No more..Hydrocodone!!!  No more Iron supplements.
I am encouraged back to my water classes when wedding wound has week is promised...
My knee is ..amazing...X-ray looks perfect...
I am taller, standing up straighter...only mild aching as I stand up.

I saw the PA...but insisted on seeing my doctor, the hero...just for a hug..
.I am so thrilled..It seems like just yesterday, I was screaming in pain and impatient. 
 I give all the credit to the physical therapists at the Pavilion nursing home...where for 10 days, they made me scream and cry as they walked me and twisted me and iced me...
Yesterday's horror equals today's joy.
..And, it is just 3 weeks and 2 days...
Everyone told me...but I just could not see it!!!!

Thank you all so much for listening to the whine and giving me support.
Celebrated with lunch at Tupelo Honey with my girl.
Tonight my Wednesday night quilting group applauded my success...
Of course, cookies were part of it!!

I hate my camera...ugh..out of focus...maybe the operator???
I made two potluck bowl covers for Muggs.
Last night I had a Hydrocodone induced panic attack at a restaurant.
Muggs came to the rescue...She deserves the world.

Monday, July 4, 2016

A Red, White and Blue..Miracle Day

Happy Fourth of July
Today was full of miracles...
My daughter and her man are the best!!
A holiday with out my dear crept up on me.
It beached me.
My daughter took the kids for awhile and I went back to bed.
When I awoke, the place was alive.
Red, white and and fireworks...all ready for a feast.
She showed me big time that I still have family left and family that really cares.
The cook here making eyes!!!
 The napkins and plates Lynsey insisted on...She was afraid that I would forget the today was the Fourth of July...Guess she thought knee pain equaled brain pain..
They brought a pool for the kids.
 Ha Ha...on sale cuz the store is putting out school supplies..
OMG, really???
The children adore Uncle Brian!!! 
 Everyone wanted to be first..Uncle Brian made up silly games.
Who can hop the most on one foot????
Who is the first to kiss the cement???  OMG..
 My daughter and her man..did it all...After, they cleaned up and she packed the children's bags for camp.
I could not be happier..How love can just change it all around..
My surgery deal is getting better every single day..I am exactly 3 weeks post surgery today!!
The pain has lessened 70%...seemingly overnight!!
I can walk 200 steps up and down Fintan's wheelchair ramp, pain free and without a cane...just using the railings.
I still have to use 3 or 4 Hydrocodone a day to manage, but at least it manages and it is down from every four hours around the clock.
The only struggle is getting up and down from a sitting position..
Amazing miracles...
Now I am going to sew my pot luck covers and chill.
Love....Granddaddy watching over all of us with love!