Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Resilience

The midnight hour rescue...Stitching heals!!
Cross top finished.
 Just happened to  have on hand...cute clothes pin backing.
 Took out a quilt from the closet for a gift...and I liked it better than when I made it..lol
 Saw this advertisement..  Really...no quilter would ever pay this...
Potluck cover tute  makes them way cuter and way way cheaper!!
Night night my friends...

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Potholder Play....

Dylan, age 6, finished his very first potholder.  He did it all with me.  He put his hands on my hands and felt, oh..so good about sewing with Grandma.  He learned about the presser foot and the cutting button, about right sides together and lining things up...He picked out all the scraps and a Dr. Suess backing.  So proud!
It is for his Aunt Brandy who invited him for the weekend.
Remember this???
Our trip to Foust last year...
So  exciting to have bits of cute scraps for my potholders:
Sold by the pound...they seemed almost free!
No Xanax needed  here...It is creating potholder time!
My wonderful DIL took her two children for school shoes this morning.
And, then for a movie.  Two and a half years clean, she is a totally  new person.
I am grateful..because now I can go to the movies with friends too!!
Last night a Black Belt Boot Camp for my grands.  They got very high scores on push-ups and board breaking.  I am amazed, especially at 7 year old Lynsey.  She did 25 push-ups this morning to show us.  The pediatrician was thrilled at how physically fit my grands are...wahoo!!!
Before my DIL came this morning, Lynsey and I played Old Maid.
 Above we have...loving to win!!
And below we have...just having a great morning.
I found these cool card holders online for their small hands.
And a great grief post.
Stifled Grief

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

A Day in our Lives...

No, Dylan, six is too young to sew...Well...OK!!!
He put his hands on my hands and off we went.
He is so thrilled to have sewn a seam, like his brother and sister have done..
All done..snipped, washed, labeled and put into the closet for someone special.
 This scrap log cabin was made from random 1.5 inch strips.  I loaded my Little Blue travel sewing machine into a Walmart cooler on wheels.. I added a number of odd 3 inch square red scraps and a big bag of scrap strips. With no fuss, measuring, messing etc, I wrapped those strips around the square...The squares took a long relaxing time as I only sewed on them at Bees or Sit and Sews...
I sized them, sewed them and voila..my favorite type of scrap quilt, no measuring required.
 Finished...my first nursing home, knee replacement quilt.
I have enough of that random jelly roll to make 3 more...Again..this is made from a bag of 2.5 inch random scrap strips. The jelly roll has then been cut into this size with lots left.
 Its zebra backing..
Wing Haven summer camp...worms, bugs and birds!!
Dirt and so much fun...
And..a few helpful posts...
Recovering addict gives his side of the story.

I found this article..that tells it like it is...

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Process

Cross quilt process:

My process:
To give me strength etc, etc..I follow a number of private groups on Facebook:
Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, ALS caregiver widows, some addiction posts, et al
They help me feel not so alone.
I found this interesting article.

Now in all my selfishness, in order to keep functioning, I really never thought of how my love felt in these terms.  He was busy dying and I was busy trying to keep him alive.
His primary goal as he died, was to be sure that I was OK. He was giving me his gift of love.

Today is 16 months a widow.  I am better, I am sewing and going out with friends.
This past week, I ate out with friends 6 times.
My belly and my budget squealed.

Why did I not think of how he felt in terms of burdening the family??
I do not know.
I do know that I could not have reassured him of that..only of my love for him.
He knew the reality....He had worked in the ALS clinic.  He knew ALS was one way...Down.
.The very day he was diagnosed, he told me that ALS was a very expensive illness.
 He told me that I could well lose the house in order to pay for his care.

 Already, raising our three young grandchildren was taking 60% of our income.
He was afraid I would get sick as I let myself decline in health, eating junk and crying in the recliner. I would not bathe, I would not go out, I sunk deeper and deeper into despair.
Paralyzed in the bed, he arranged for friends to come and talk with me.
My quilting friends stuck by me.
My pool friends stuck by me.
His family stuck by me.
My family stuck by me.
My Naranon friends stuck by me.
My blogging friends stuck by me.

He counseled me so I would not go completely berserk...
He used his one good hand to comfort me.
Just writing this brings tears to my eyes, even though I know that we both did the best we could in terrible circumstances.
Twenty two months was quite sufficient for him to live this disease of paralysis and death..
He is done with it...well on his spiritual way.
I find myself still living it.

Friday, August 12, 2016

Me and the White Zombie

Craft beers are popular in North Carolina.
 Actually, our state is rated number 15 in the country for this..
My latest try:
Yummy..and I loved the can...ha!!  Guess I am not ready to kick the can yet...OMG

Working on this tonight instead of much needed potholders.
Just showing the process so you do not think I am lazy..
Someone just got a new back to school hair cut for second grade...just like her mommy's.


I am doing so so so well...A big surprise to moi. 
 It really has been a week or so since I cried or felt forlorn...
I am finding more of myself again.
 I went into Lowe's home improvement store the other day.
I was full of myself walking along with my new knee...no pain at all.

Out of the blue,..I was dizzy. 
 I realized that I had not been in that store in at least 3 and a half years.
The last time I was there....
 the contractor was putting in the handicapped bathroom for my dear man.
Nostalgia came in waves..The pain of ALS interrupted my delight.
I could not control the craziness and had to get out of Dodge.
I did recoup quickly after my nap...TBTG

That of course, leads us to:
The Health Benefits of Quilting
(link found on My Go Go Life)
Sooo...I am now listening to Oldies but Goodies on U-tube and...
Sewing!!!

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

All in a Day's Work

Old Grandma is quilting...working..having a good time.
I found these fun Plus blocks...added a few tonight.
 Two quilts finished...just need a bit of snipping and a wash.
Tigger...Really?????
You certainly did not lose much time did you????
The littles went off with JP today to the park and Chick-Fil-A
Such a nice break for me to go to Toast for brunch with my girl.
Wednesday night quilting..a gab and wine fest..so fun.
And now, a show and tell..
All told from the top of the roller coaster...I know, I  know...
One has to get down one day...as in crash!!!!
But, just for today I am way ok..

Did I tell you that I had turned a corner...If I have two tummies instead of one...so what!!
If I am 68 instead of 48...so what!!
You do not like it???  Then just walk on by.
I have a new knee..I am woman!!
 Hear me Roar...
I am alive!!
Wahoo!!

Cute Tula Pink short...for Bernina

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

So Long, Farewell......

Pumpkin
2000-2016
We loved you so.
  



I took our girl to the vet this afternoon...our long time vet of 20 years.
He said...average age of cat is 14 years...Pumpkin was 100 in human years.
Diagnosis:
Old age, renal failure, advanced thyroid disease, dementia and if he looked, 
He thought he could find more...OMG
She was 7 pounds of love...in agony...
Goodbye Pumpkin..an awesome quilt  lover and dear friend.
Strange but true...Zoe, the black lab used to have great fun chasing the cats.
In the last two weeks, Zoe has hovered near Pumpkin.
Zoe knew, when we did not.
Goodbye good cat..
xxoo

Monday, August 8, 2016

Sweet Memory Lane

Evan and Lynsey at Halloween forever ago with my son and my DIL

 My grandmother collected pigs forever.
  She often mentioned how she loved pigs and how smart they were.
 Growing up in Sweden as a young child, it was one of her chores to feed the pigs.
So for Christmas in 1978???  I made this for her.   I always loved it.
This embroidered cat pattern was from Better Homes and Gardens magazines...
in the late 70's, I think.
I would trace the pattern on muslin blocks and mail them from my home in Miami to my grandmother living in Arizona.  Grandma was in her late 80's, early 90's.  She would complain that her eyes were not so good any more and that I expected too much from her. Yet each time, I would have them all back in like two weeks.  My mother told me to keep sending them...lol
A treasure for me, as my grandmother was a role model to help me keep fighting.
 This easy quilt is one of my favorites of all times, that I have made..
My purple "X" block
 This wonky quilt of mine won 4th place in our show...
NO ONE won first, second or third...
Really????
My vintage collection of potholders...
 This is the only perfect present that I ever found for my brother and his wife.
At one time they had 20 cats in their "no pet" apartment in Miami.  I made each cat a small stocking for Christmas.  Love....it is all about Love.
How about a shout out to my dear friend, Bea...
Bea at Bea's Hive
For Bea...my source of dignity, grace and strength.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Just One Little Post

I am quilting, for the first time in 3 months... one of my 12 pinned quilt tops.
 When I look at this picture, I remember my dear man over the machine..
.in his hospital bed, in the next room...
I loved him so...
No more suffering for my dear...
Of course...fast quilting leads to feathered stitches on the back...Ugh..I had to take out a 12 x 10 inch part...Oh, well...done now.  I really really love this backing.
It was so hard to use.
I wanted to save it...Really???
 The above quilt is now awaiting its binding.
 Now working on the small quilt from the nursing home.... jelly roll quilt.
 Pat's potholder...the tennis playing nurse...love you Pat!!!


Really cool link Denim-I spy-rag quilt

Hi My Love...
 Just to tell you that I had a wonderful time at the widows dinner the other night..
The Charades were hilarious and the food and friendship were divine.
 It energized me so that Sunday I did some online paperwork for my license
  Some quilting and some reading and walking and napping.
Sunday was just a wonderful day..actually so have been the last few days. Amazing...
I knew you had not been home for awhile, so I sat down to send you an email about it...
when .........................reality set right back in..

I am working on mental exercises of healing..ways I look at things..
Maybe I am ready for that...maybe not.

Or, of course....Grandparenting!!!!

Sad news is that my son walked out of Detox and is back on the street again.
Good news is that my girl is back...love her so...We had breakfast out this morning..
She did all my hard computer chores in like 10 seconds...paid my online bills in like 15 seconds.
Guess I am really an old lady after all.
But...guess what.????
 After 5 or 6 years disabled...I am walking...so wonderful!!!!
Life is still so sweet.
Amazing Grace!!