Friday, June 24, 2016

The Big Dose or News from the Nursing Home

Every night
She is screaming loudly for her mother. And for her son "Mama, Joe...Where are you?"  She is in her 80's. Her Mama is surely well gone as is this lady's mind.  I drown out her crying with the the hum of my little blue sewing machine.  It is all set up in my rehab room in order to save my soul. My daughter brought the. Small machine along with a bag of random 2.5 inch scraps.   A jelly roll seemed like the easiest non thinking project for my rehabilitation , don't you think??..

The excruciating knee surgery pain has subsided. Tbtg and I am slowly starting to heal,, slowly..I said!!
What has kept me longer has been the wound I sustained at the wedding. Can u believe that.???
A wound doctor was called in to debreed. The 7 week old wound. I will have to follow up with when I am discharged. Omg. Still another thing.
From the other night came
The wearing thin of this nursing home. I am not my own keeper. The nurse told me that she brings fresh water around at 5:30 am.  It was 8pm at the time of my request.  I asked her to be sure to bring my pain meds at 2am even if I was asleep.  No mam, was the answer. You are not in pain, if you are asleep. It is now 3:15 am. 30 minutes into my pain medication request of pain medication scheduled
for 2....
I am in pain.
 The nurse,s. Answer:  Sometimes a pill doesn't fix it ,you just have to work through it.  I said maybe the head nurse can help us out. She said. I am the head nurse. 
And so it goes on the rehab ward of the brand new, high end Pavillion at Brightmore in Charlotte,NC

I had planned on a. Visitor tonight at 6. When it was cancelled, I was not lonely.  For in wheeled Ms A ,  thinking that my room may be cozier than her own
My Knee pain and I are saying the serenity prayer as we continue to wait for Hydrocodone that was scheduled  .forever ago. 1.hope it comes with prune juice as all of this  is. royal pain in the patoot,!
I have brought with me the quilt that I made from the Mr s shirts. I sleep under that at night to keep me safe. I miss him so. Some times the tears get confused and do not know which place they are coming from.

The good news is that I am going home on Sunday,!!
I am going home with Home Health for my wound and PT and OT,,,on a walker, etc
The gratitude thing....Friends. Friends. Friends.   Visits, cards, presents, emails , meals hugs and more.  LOVE
I have made new friends here...lol and unlike many here, I get to be going home
I have a small I-pad here so it is hard for me to figure out pictures and formatting. I just wanted to give you all a shoutout ....I am alive and sewing and healing
Xxxooo



Friday, June 17, 2016

An Ortho Hola


Today, My I-pad resurfaced ....lost in the drama of this past week.
Thought maybe some of you would be wonderin' just how I have navigated the way.
Here I am.  From the hospital bed, from the rehabilitation facility, from my heart.

Five days from the butcher knife slice in my broken, aged knee to the new, adventurous vinyl replacement.
It has not been easy. I have sobbed mightily as the medical profession worked to balance my pain medication.  First, I had side effects to the Morphine and OxyContin...it slowed my breathing and slurred my brain. Next the NSAIDs increased my blood pressure.   Still screaming here. Finally Hydrocodone saved the day.
All this scary stuff slowed the rehab process.  My first choice for aftercare had been coming home to Ms Stephanie and my daughter , Emily.  Now things were way too complicated.  I could not walk. I could not get to the bathroom alone. I was crying with pain.  The doctor put me on the second choice bandwagon, the Pavilion at Brightmore
With a good section of ortho-rehab.  It has taken until this afternoon for the pain to be under control.  Oy vey. I can now use the walker to go potty myself!! My OT and PT started today.  Wish me well.
With love, I will send future, pictureless updates as I can.  I probably will be here another week working away at working away.  No sewing but. I-padding the many Craftsey classes I bought and never watched, reading and being grateful for the many great people it has and is taking to keep my show on the road.  XxxOoo


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Saturday, June 11, 2016

The Pre-Op party at my "joint"

Tonight,  my widow's group got together for my pre-op party at my house...
Really...any excuse for a party...pot luck..party at my "joint"..ha!!
So fun. Eleven people came with yummy food and laughs.
Flavored waters  shown here...Emily helped me out...
Although, I did notice that most wanted vino and not water.
Stephanie came to help with the cleaning and the kids...
But, Evan was the real hero!!  He helped so much.
Every one loved Evan.
I covered everything that looked messy ...with my quilts.. such the lazy one!!
Here is a  result of  my stress buying ...I love these fabrics so much that I doubt I will be ever able to use them.
I think it is now time for bed...16 year old Pumpkin is so tired from the party that no matter how loud I shouted, she just could not open those eyes for a picture!!!!

A big thanks for all the support and emails from you ...my dear friends.
36 hours and hopefully, the new knee will be installed.
I might just really be able to do this without my dear man....with a little help from my friends.
Ok, a lot of help from my friends.

Friday, June 10, 2016

An Addiction Post...no quilts, no pictures...only Hope

Waking Up Naked

I'm at a party when a kid asks me, 
"hey you wanna drink, bro?"
Uh, no thanks I don't drink anymore.
That's fucking lame
Motherfucker, lame, weak
Sometimes I gotta be boring
--so I'm boring.
The parties I usually go to consist of coffee and feelings.
A few times a week, we sit in a circle and try to piece our lives together.
We do not remember them so clearly.
Besides, one time when only weighing 130 pounds,
I killed a bottle of Jack Daniel's in thirty minutes.
The next morning, I woke up in the back seat of my car naked, and neck-deep in leaves.
I am allergic to alcohol.
Every time I drink, I break out in handcuffs.
I crap on the living room carpet, and then kick down a door.
To date, I put three cats on a treadmill, one dog in a cupboard.
Do not call me boring, Sir
Once, I forgot where my house was.
I was escorted by strangers, carrying fifty cookies and an umbrella, butt naked.
But, one time, I headbutted my best-friend so hard, I shattered his nose.
And, one time I took more pills that I can remember and accepted I'd be dead within the hour.
Don't you dare call me weak.
I have swallowed more pints of regret than you pump blood through your body.
Tell my father it was boring to look his only son in the eyes.and tell him that if he drank one more time,
 he would not be welcome in the house.
Tell my mother I am weak.
She failed to hold back tears, driving me home from the psych ward.
She would see her son handcuffed to an emergency room bed.
She spent four years praying for  my sobriety nightly.
You will not take this from her.
If you offer me a shot, there had better be a trigger involved.
The strongest I have ever felt, was the first time I said no to a drink.
I have said no, every morning since September 29th, 2008.
I say no eighteen times before breakfast, one for every step it takes to get from my bedroom to the fridge.
I say no ten times before work, one for every billboard that tells me I was stronger when drinking.
I have said no more times than I can count, one for every night 
my family lay awake trying not to imagine my headstone.
When you ask me the question, I do not hear the words you are saying.
I hear you ask me, "Do you want to die?"
No, I don't want to die anymore.

author unknown to me...

The Lessons

Age seven...Lynsey's first sewing lesson.
She is soooo thrilled.
She is especially thrilled because she thinks that her brother,
Evan only started learning at age 8.
And she thinks her brother, Dylan will not learn until age 9.
Two lessons, actually...one in sewing and one in giving back.
This is a "thank you " present. It is a bag to hold grocery bags.

This Monday morning, 5:30 arrival, 9:00 surgery...and I should have a new knee...
God willing!!
When I fear for my Monday morning surgery,
I forget the rest of the world and what they go through.
Beth does a great job here as she fosters her volunteer program.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Such Random Joy

The rush was on..finishing end of school presents...We survived...lol
At midnight hour, I decided that helping Evan would be saner than us all going nuts..
 It was a good choice.
  Fabric is from IKEA

Letters I found already made on Equilter
On checking this link, I see that they have no more of it.
This is a copy of the fabric in case you want to google find it.
Evan making his school math tutor a potholder present.
Lynsey has one more present to make and we are done...
Someone graduated from fifth grade today.
Now we have a middle school student living here.

Oh...my the excitement..the ceremony, the gift cards, the brunch at Le Peeps.
Tonight, Evan and I finally were able to watch together...:
Great British Sewing Bee season 4
Sew much fun!!
A very fun day!!!

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Here we go again...oh...Rantadiddle, Rant, Get it going Girl..

Terrible pictures here..so so sorry...the bad pix are the bad day..ugh.!!
Bag made for a birthday party for one of Lynsey's friends.
It is hard to find things with names on them when you have an unusual name.
 Lynsey picked the fabric
 The inside fabric is a pale green fly fabric...I made the pocket from this cute fussy cut.
 Six year old Dylan's first ever outing with a friend.  They went to Carowinds and had a great time.
And so it goes...and now...
The rant:
My surgery is scheduled for Monday, June 13.
I became so frightened of doing it without my dear man, that I got bronchitis from the stress.
Jeeze Louize...
Here I sit, head  under the pillow..not handling things well.

The children were so happy to see Daddy.He always gives them 100% playtime..
Now they are worried and distraught because he fell and hurt himself at the park..
Lynsey asked me yesterday if I could die from my bronchitis..
They are still fragile.
Grief doesn't end.

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Bring on More Good Stuff

The day at the beach that I got the flat tire in the driveway and cried like someone had died..OMG
After AAA came, my besties ...all 6 of them, made plugging the tire a family affair.
The 7 of us showed up at the station in two cars, the tire was fixed in a flash, then it was thrift shop time.
I found this awesome basket.
 Voila, this fake jadite butter dish to match my kitchen
 Work done on the retreat...zippy purses...to give to say thanks or feel better.
coin purse tutorial
 All done and ready to give is the "I Spy" quilt.
 I made these bags for thank you presents for teachers and more.
Already sent the rest in to the teachers..forgot the pix..(:
drawstring bag tute
I had done all the cutting at home, making the sewing so relaxing.
And my sweet grandboy, Evan had wound all the bobbins for me!!
A big thanks to Aunt Brandy for taking the kids on their own family beach vacation,
letting me be free to have mine.
Yesterday, I survived our 36th wedding anniversary with a little help from a friend at lunch.
Today brunched with my girl
Even in grief, life is sweet.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

The Oak Island Retreat...Oh, Yes!!!!

A quilting retreat at Muggs' Oak Island place...heaven.
Seven friends and 5 machines...one knitter and one lover. 99 year old Margaret!!!
Here they are:  Margaret and Muggs, shuckin' the corn, while the rest of us sew.
The South port ferry..a thrilling 30 minute ride to Wilmington, from Oak Island
The Sand shark...and me...love at first sight!!
Everyone kept catching these instead of the big ones. lol
Better catch them now before they get bigger.
Celebrating Jean's big birthday...Jean is a miracle..We love you Jean!
Marie's sampler in the works...
See the children in the border...clever Marie
More pix to come...
Do you know how exhausting having fun is????

Monday, May 23, 2016

Thinking and Sewing and Being..

The quilt top for the new neighbor's baby boy.
Crazy that I could not find enough for the perfect border hue.
I had to piece it.  The border now makes the quilt.
Look and how the lighter fish bring movement to this lowly baby quilt.
Giving to others..It is the right thing to do.


Today I had my pre-op appointment for my June 13 knee replacement surgery.
She asked me if I was allergic to anything.
I said yes, kale and beets.
She asked me what happens.
I said that I throw up.
Ha ha ha.

On the Accuquilt blog, I found this interesting post.

When out of the blue, with no tiny reindeer...came BS for me..Why do I care?
Picking up my machine and a bit of a scrap...
Outside I go to get rid of the crap...
Thank goodness for sewing, that's all I know.

Love this one....Great thinking.
Losses and Laughter...on being Kevin Kling

Thursday, May 19, 2016

The Revolving Door

Durnnit!!!  Those awful people came back again to visit me today.
Poor Pitiful Pearl and Wendy Winer.  I could not get rid of them.
Then,  Humpty Dumpty had a great fall....Really...again...now?????
 OMG
Out of the freaking blue?
And the grief came tumbling out again...and the grief came tumbling out.
Humpty Dumpty looked so put together sitting on the wall.
Who in the world would have known he was so fragile still??

Dealing with those intrusive folks, I stayed in bed till one with head under the pillow.
DIL called and made me get up..Only 10 year old boys sleep in their clothes, said she..
Took myself to lunch.
Went to a support group.
Started this for a new neighbor who just had a baby boy.

Getting into the "I Spy Quilt" thing.
They have a two year old, so that should be fun for him too.
Only two blocks the same...Lets find the matches!!
I have sewn this into four patches and will sort them in the am.
Bye bye for now.. You horrid guests...
Poor Pitiful Pearl and her cousin Wendy Winer!!!!!!
Mrs. O'Quilts is back again...full speed ahead!

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Crazy Mud brain, Mrs. O'Quilts

Mrs. O'Quilts has a mud brain as she sews and sews without reading directions.
Twice as much work for naught leaving the pattern obscured.
I can either rip out half the whites or slice them off distorting the sizing or make a different quilt with the blocks I have 
......or put them all back into the project box and hurl it over the fence.

Oh, OK..None of that, right!
Maybe I will at least put the THIRTY wrong blocks back to their box to sleep for the night!


Someone is still on steroids for asthma.!!!!..
I big thank you to Stasi and Hilda for finding this link for me.
It seems that this second year is about balance..as I try to right myself.
The pendulum swings to far to the left, then too far to the right.
The old comfort zone shot to hell!!
At least I now know that I will be alright..
That is what Bob Marley says anyway!!!!

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Mettle and Hurrah

The 14th of May, came and went.  I did not realize that it was the 13th month a widow mark.
Today, I know that you, my love, are part of me.
You are in my bones and my heart and my brain and my breath.
You will always be the very fiber of my soul.
I am so grateful.


Myrtovl   You know I have lost your email address.. Please send it again..You are so great to comment.

Work on these blocks is trying.
Nothing creative here.  I did want to use the jelly roll in a different way from the four others.
Boring, but doing my best.
 I am stuck with scraps all gone of this white...there must be 3 million shades of white.
Going to have to mix them up like clean and dirty snow.

Steroids make me cranky and keep me  up all night.
In my wheezing time tonight, I have prepared the inners of 30 potholders, getting things prepared for my June 13th knee surgery. Plan on sewing my way thru rehab!!!!!!!

In other news....
Thank you Dixie for this lovely visitation picture of my son. with his boys.
Eamon was in great shape and a great time was had by all.
Thank you Stephanie and Charmaine for doing supervision.
Voila...Thanks to great Aunt Brandy...Here we have cousins, dressed alike
with matching dolls on their first airplane ride...and to Disney of all places!!!!
How happy is this??!!
Evan and I enjoyed a lovely Sunday alone..
And so it goes at the O'Quilt's place.

"Then it Happened"

The moon rolled over
turned out the light
covered itself
with a blanket of night.

Alice Franzen Clemons Burt, Circle of Love