Friday, January 19, 2018

Southern Snow Days...No School,

House bound on Snow Days..
Some of us sew...Just the next border around a finished applique...from where, I forgot.
Cold and beautiful, our front yard..
Colder and more beautiful, our back yard.

Salvation...Carolina blue...and the sun.
A doll sized snow girl.
Some of us sleep

 Warming up in front of the fake fire.
A one night sleepover that turned into 3 nights...OMG
Old Grandma made a dozen scrambled eggs and 100 pancakes..or 101!!
The next day, she made French toast from a loaf and a half  of bread.
Ice cream and yogurt and fruit smoothies.added to the treat.
Stitch is so fickle.  He tells Lynsey that he is her cat.
He tells me that  he is the sewing room cat.
 Some people organize fabric.
 I am trying to put my grief in my pocket.
Alas, I am trying to get a life.
Snow meant no school.
No school meant Grandma  had to cancel her life because of childcare.
Snow  meant caring for 5 children instead of 3.
It also meant tons of fun and laughter for them and me.

Child free for the weekend, I am planning on going to the Guild Sit and Sew.
Preparing now for pillowcases and four patches.
Making myself go is part of my plan.
I would love to sleep the weekend away, but just gotta get out with my peeps.

Things I teach my grands....
The love of forgiveness.
We all make mistakes...and we all want to be forgiven.
Accepting people as they are. not trying to change them.
Hitting.  We do not hit children in this family and
children do not hit adults nor other children.
Lying...We are tempted...especially when we might get into trouble for a mistake or two.
But if we tell the truth around  here, the discipline is so much less
 and we love ourselves so  much more.
Not talking bad about others when they have made a  mistake...back to the forgiveness.
We do not have to go to church for these lessons from God.
Control...we can only control ourselves. in the day.
Life again...give to others.
Humming...Thank you WS.
The God thing...each person has to  make up their own minds
Believing is a gift...but it is a personal gift.
It has to be role modeled...that of course is the biggest challenge.
Doing the best I can here...

The making of corn chowder...
Fretting on Thursday, scrounging around for what to serve my brood...
I told Lynsey that everyone was on the computers so I could not find a recipe for the corn chowder.
In less than a 8 year old grand was beside me with  her I-pad.
Siri, she said...please get us a recipe for corn chowder...and so it began..
Lynsey said that Uncle Brian gave her a Siri who is a man with an Irish accent.
She loves her Siri...he helps her with so much.
This old grandma keeps getting blown away.
From what had started as a perceived crisis, ended as a gift..
I should'a known...xo

Saturday, January 13, 2018

The Scrappy Night

Working with 4.5 inch scraps...the folklore persists...It is wrong.
There is no "using up" scraps.
They only multiply like bunnies.
 It is not enough for me to have these two projects on my design wall.
Nope, I have to look through scrap baskets and find more interesting projects until I just make another mess, give up and go read my book

 I was so proud of our Stitch..role modeling peace for me.
 Ha Ha...and then the dog walked by..
My grief therapist tells me to hum when I am anxious.
He says it relaxes the rib cage to make one relaxed like Budda
Here I am...hummmmmming...and sewwwwwing

Friday, January 12, 2018

Grandma O'Quilts Holds Her Own........

Brave Grandma O'Quilts, uplifted by friends of all ages, all around the world...
is feeling better...

From Ms Nancy's basket bazaar...comes this purple present for Drenna's birthday.

A purple button added..
Filled with purple goodies, thread, clips and charms.

From Barbara's estate...4.5 inch squares...random..cuz I do not usually use that size.
Using some of my favorite plaid...ouch....I started a comfort quilt for someone.
It is so nice to just play with fabric with no rules or demands,
  Also...did a binding...long awaiting my newfound energy.

Today, I realized that I was now able to play my  part in all this.
A part to push myself a
After my  lovely nap this morning...
I..went to the library for large print books.
(So proud of self, alas, I lost my cane and I wobbled back inside to look.
No dice.
Back to the car..searched everywhere...keeping my new found serenity...All of a sudden, it rang.
It was in my bra...the whole time) YIKES..

Did a bit of shopping and then. YES.....I took a swim in the pool.
This was the second time in 6 months...
I was so grateful....
Friends galore welcomed me back.

Despite intense family drama tonight...sigh.. I survived.
Kids gone off to their cousins.

 I found a bit of hope today..
I am borrowing strength from my therapist.
Sewing and Andrea Bocelli...
lift up Grandma O'Quilts tonight.!!
I am so happy to be able to post this joy..

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

When is Good,.... Good Enough...????

I went to my fourth quilter estate sale yesterday.
The abundance of collectible was free.
But, not free of memories.
And, not free of angst.
Clearly my photography skills are weak
This pretty quilt does not show well..
Art and color cleanse me.

My drawer full of 30's fabric...where are my Grace bits...this baby's name is Grace!!!

In fabric, is it the color?
Is it the lighting...showing the soul and reflecting the heart.
Is it the feel or the possibilities..
Why do I have such hope for fabric and not for....
My fabric collection spans 50 some years.
I hope that my friends and family have a party as...
 they divvy up my passion.once I fly on..

Working on this quilt now, quilting I need more quilting???
  Is it good enough/?
The baby probably will not mind...but the fabric artist does...

Age 70 requires a review of one's life...
I had a great regrets at all..
It was more than good enough.  It was brilliant...
I just want more of it...more and more...
What is my future...??  Really...did I forget, again.... that I am not in control??

Links to my man and my mother...down memory lane..again...always.. dear man..xoxo
He told me that when he died, I should not worry about going downtown to make sandwiches for the homeless...that raising the children and making quilts were enough.
Funny how he read my mind...
Even now, I feel like I am not doing enough.
I have the affliction of more....
 On my lovely weekends alone, I cuddle in a quilt or two, sit in my recliner, read a book and doze off,
cats in my lap, dog at my feet..
Maybe my man was right.  Then maybe he was not.

And so I sleep and I sew and I love my grands and my friends.
This article brought more tears to my eyes.
Why Grief Lasts so Long..
.April 14th he will be three years gone.

And so, in order to try to steady myself in serenity, I am taking a break from:
My Naranon I hate addiction and am sick of talking about it for now...
My ALS support I hate ALS and am sick of ALS
Phone calls from my son, as I am fragile and have a great need for self-care.
I do not want to hear about his angst.
Or, listen to him asking for money, when no money ever comes in this direction, to help.

Tonight I was able to review these posts, and read the comments....
I felt warm fuzzies instead of just pathos..

My mother's death...The Butterfly and the Gift

My broken heart...reports....My husband's death...

Today, I napped a million times, I celebrated thawed water in the dog's bowl.
I had lunch with my sister...a rare delight..
Tonight,  blogging and finishing this baby quilt.... soon as I decide if it is good.....good enough.

ps  As I review these old posts, I am infused with music is another:
The Rose

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

2018...Day Two...

How is 2018 starting out????
Just sayin' was the day that I got three children up at 6am...shuffled them to the bus stop in 12 degree weather....waited for 30 minutes before I realized that there was no school today.
Winter break did not end until tomorrow!!!!
Everyone is posting their I thought I had better stay up late and have a finish for today, anyway...A quilt..all done...terrible pix I see..but it is 12:30 am.

I called our Stephanie begging her to come early to steady my quilting room, so it would have some semblance of calm my brain.
She came early alright, but it was to care for the children ..on their "no shcool" day and help them with their rooms and the time for folding sewing room fabric.

Cleaning in the archives,  appeared this pig of my grandmother's
Growing up in Sweden, her job as a young child was tending to the pigs...She always thought that they were adorable and very she collected them later in her life.
One year, we were at wit's end on what to get her for her birthday.  Found this plain pig somewhere and the whole family signed it.  My grandmother died in 1996...born in this little piggy is quite an heirloom...many others who signed it are also dead.

Last night fear came upon me for my son, homeless in freezing weather.
 After watching the news, I sent him a text...r u ok???
He called me back...Of course Mom.. Why wouldn't I be???
He said...Remember that university student that paid for a hotel for me last year so I could bathe and rest???  Well this year she bought me a tent and a minus 30 degree sleeping bag and a propane I am snug as a bug in my tent.. never have to worry about me..I am resilient
My bad...poor old Mom.worrying about her homeless son...

I read in a avoid a stolen purse, just tie your purse in the child restraint on the shopping cart.
I proud.... old Grandma...
Once to the car, I did not have the strength in my hands to unclasp it (70 years old) I had to ask a passer-by to release my safe...very safe...purse.

 A lovely package came today from Florida and my friend Judy...
She made me her special cookies...which arrived all intact..
Such love.
She also sent me some lotion.
I got the biggest kick out of the brand....Dead Sea lotion.
Ha ha appropriate for turning 70!!

Blue Nickles...Creating when you are on the rainy side of life
I love this guy...right up front and very creative.

Now, lets see what January 3rd brings for the O'Quilt family...

Monday, January 1, 2018

Happy New Year...2018.

Happy New Year, with 365 more chances to celebrate
Bye bye my favorite snow man
 Good night tired reindeer..Good night tired grandma....
Hello New Year...potholders

 I am afraid things have  not changed yet...I am still up at 2am.
Still cannot find my camera, still struggling with the perfect border
Still killing myself with cookies.

However, 2018...I have found some hope.
Check out  this funny if you have not already seen it.
And NO, I do not identify...!!!!!🙀🙀🙀
I think I need to ask for this for next Christmas...
So hilarious...but so true...

Monday, December 25, 2017

Christmas Surprises

The lovely Christmas 
 My daughter made a stocking for me, filling it with goodies.
Starting out of course with that demon Kale...a Merry Kalemas, 
Better still were fat quarters and a walking foot for my travel machine.
I love my daughter.

Christmas was perfect...a lot due to my daughter and her husband...He cooked the holiday roasts and breakfast...and I was able to relax..finally....on Christmas eve.
Last minute finishes...
A see through bag made from Cousin Ann's sparkly London vinyl
This was for my dear girl.
This holds a snack pack decorated with chickens...My girl loves chickens..
Inside..  new seam rippers and new rotary blades.
All for her digs in Portland.
For my sister.....the wrapping paper vinyl zippy bag that was a total failure.
 First, I applied clear iron-on vinyl to only one side, lined it and zippered it.
The wrapping paper ripped.
I did not give up.
 Next, I ironed vinyl on both sides, it still ripped and was impossible to turn inside out.
UGH...TBTG my sister's birthday is not until Wednesday.
I have successfully used this method on candy bags..
I.guess they are made much stronger.
I learned the hard more wrapping paper bags.
Christmas dinner for nine..
Happy children...Little Critter house for Lynsey
Emily decorated with Christmas lights and a lighted miniature tree.
 New I-pad for Dylan
 Of course....old Zoe..cataracts and white beard
still showing off the Christmas spirit, patient and kind..

 The bitter sweet angst was my son.
He wanted to come to Christmas.
I had to say no....No because last time he was in such bad shape on drugs that he made us all cry.
No because he is making no attempt to get clean and sober.
No because when he is under the influence,, sometimes he can be frightening.
I want to protect both my grands and myself from those kinds of things.
I had to say no...but oh, how I cried.
We all love him so much.

Just in often happens, a gift of love appears.
I have not really heard from Beth in awhile..she has kinda switched to Instagram..
She is not a big talker, like I am..
Out of the blue, she remembered my birthday.
Her kindness lifted my soul and dried my tears.
A loving mug rug...already hanging in my sewing room
 The most darling chocolate panels...finally chocolate that will not shrink my clothes.
xoxoxo Beth...u r so wonderful
 In all...a very Merry Christmas

ps tomorrow is the day...I get my abscessed wisdom tooth extracted
Pray for my bravery!!!

Sunday, December 24, 2017

The Beginning of the O'Quilt Family Christmas

Merry Christmas from the O'Quilt family in Charlotte, North Carolina!
Here we have Lynsey leaving the milk and cookies and carrots out for Santa.
 She is reading to us, her letter to Santa. She is quite happy that he put her on his "good" list even though she had had some "iffy" times when she was mean spirited..
She thanks him for forgiving her and hopes he and his reindeer have a safe trip tonight.
She understands what a hard job he has with big, heavy bags to be carried all over the world.
Stunning hand made presents from my quilting birthday party last week..
Our talented Eithne with an Irish "Happy Christmas Diane" embroidered on the front.
Always a reminder that my dear Irish Mr.O'Quilts is with me in spirit.
If you look closely there is also an embroidered Santa in gold on the stocking!!!!
Just look how Linda did a clever presentation of charms...all sewn into a fruit bag.
Drenna made me a bag to carry shoes on quilting trips
And made this card for me.
Muggs made an apron with my favorite flower, sunflower.
All the chocolate and vino tinto make this a tight fit of love.
I am not allowed to spill on it...

And so it goes...I have tons more to show.
However, tomorrow early am, there is quite a time coming.
Not that I will be rested, but I had better go on to bed now.
Me and My Best Friend
working at the chocolate factory!!!!!
Until then, I am looking forward to my SIL cooking yummy Christmas breakfast
and watching the joy of Christmas in the eyes of my grandchildren.