Monday, May 23, 2016

Thinking and Sewing and Being..

The quilt top for the new neighbor's baby boy.
Crazy that I could not find enough for the perfect border hue.
I had to piece it.  The border now makes the quilt.
Look and how the lighter fish bring movement to this lowly baby quilt.
Giving to others..It is the right thing to do.

Today I had my pre-op appointment for my June 13 knee replacement surgery.
She asked me if I was allergic to anything.
I said yes, kale and beets.
She asked me what happens.
I said that I throw up.
Ha ha ha.

On the Accuquilt blog, I found this interesting post.

When out of the blue, with no tiny reindeer...came BS for me..Why do I care?
Picking up my machine and a bit of a scrap...
Outside I go to get rid of the crap...
Thank goodness for sewing, that's all I know.

Love this one....Great thinking.
Losses and Laughter...on being Kevin Kling

Thursday, May 19, 2016

The Revolving Door

Durnnit!!!  Those awful people came back again to visit me today.
Poor Pitiful Pearl and Wendy Winer.  I could not get rid of them.
Then,  Humpty Dumpty had a great
Out of the freaking blue?
And the grief came tumbling out again...and the grief came tumbling out.
Humpty Dumpty looked so put together sitting on the wall.
Who in the world would have known he was so fragile still??

Dealing with those intrusive folks, I stayed in bed till one with head under the pillow.
DIL called and made me get up..Only 10 year old boys sleep in their clothes, said she..
Took myself to lunch.
Went to a support group.
Started this for a new neighbor who just had a baby boy.

Getting into the "I Spy Quilt" thing.
They have a two year old, so that should be fun for him too.
Only two blocks the same...Lets find the matches!!
I have sewn this into four patches and will sort them in the am.
Bye bye for now.. You horrid guests...
Poor Pitiful Pearl and her cousin Wendy Winer!!!!!!
Mrs. O'Quilts is back again...full speed ahead!

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Crazy Mud brain, Mrs. O'Quilts

Mrs. O'Quilts has a mud brain as she sews and sews without reading directions.
Twice as much work for naught leaving the pattern obscured.
I can either rip out half the whites or slice them off distorting the sizing or make a different quilt with the blocks I have 
......or put them all back into the project box and hurl it over the fence.

Oh, OK..None of that, right!
Maybe I will at least put the THIRTY wrong blocks back to their box to sleep for the night!

Someone is still on steroids for asthma.!!!!..
I big thank you to Stasi and Hilda for finding this link for me.
It seems that this second year is about I try to right myself.
The pendulum swings to far to the left, then too far to the right.
The old comfort zone shot to hell!!
At least I now know that I will be alright..
That is what Bob Marley says anyway!!!!

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Mettle and Hurrah

The 14th of May, came and went.  I did not realize that it was the 13th month a widow mark.
Today, I know that you, my love, are part of me.
You are in my bones and my heart and my brain and my breath.
You will always be the very fiber of my soul.
I am so grateful.

Myrtovl   You know I have lost your email address.. Please send it again..You are so great to comment.

Work on these blocks is trying.
Nothing creative here.  I did want to use the jelly roll in a different way from the four others.
Boring, but doing my best.
 I am stuck with scraps all gone of this white...there must be 3 million shades of white.
Going to have to mix them up like clean and dirty snow.

Steroids make me cranky and keep me  up all night.
In my wheezing time tonight, I have prepared the inners of 30 potholders, getting things prepared for my June 13th knee surgery. Plan on sewing my way thru rehab!!!!!!!

In other news....
Thank you Dixie for this lovely visitation picture of my son. with his boys.
Eamon was in great shape and a great time was had by all.
Thank you Stephanie and Charmaine for doing supervision.
Voila...Thanks to great Aunt Brandy...Here we have cousins, dressed alike
with matching dolls on their first airplane ride...and to Disney of all places!!!!
How happy is this??!!
Evan and I enjoyed a lovely Sunday alone..
And so it goes at the O'Quilt's place.

"Then it Happened"

The moon rolled over
turned out the light
covered itself
with a blanket of night.

Alice Franzen Clemons Burt, Circle of Love

Friday, May 13, 2016

Here is to hanging with the best

My new quilting friends..oh, yeah!!
When my mind wanders, I need reminding.
Amen Brother!  ((Laugh!)):

Lynsey left for Disney tonight.  She was so excited that off she went with Uncle Steve with hardly a hug for dear ol' Grandma.
For some reason, it pushed my loss button...really?  Yup...For a sec anyway.

I have been cutting pieces from that project box quilt.
My knees  keep me from standing too long.
Up came that article on.....yada yada...grief again.

The Tough Lessons I Learned After Loss
(none of which I like at all)!!!!
!.  The old life is never coming back.(not even 10%)
2. A part of you will always be alone.
3.  You are not the only one. Most people have multiple losses...OMG
4.  You must get an attitude.( that will be so tough for  me...Ha!)
5.  The small things will give you the greatest  joy.
It is a March 4, 2016 article by Christina somebody.
I lost it all so I cannot give you the link..but it is sadly excellent.
Someone help me...I got it on Facebook grief site.

She says that there are no picket fences or prince on the white horse.  The dead don't come back to help us, The dead person will not come back, Revenge doesn't help. And you are not who you used to be.

UGH...Now I have decided to make my entire house a quilt artist studio
Why not?  I already have 5 machines and two rooms.
If he is not coming back to help out...What the heck???

I need help here figuring out what sewing things to do while I am recuperating from my knee surgery on June 13.  I have to have someone spend the night for three weeks...Jeeze and I cannot drive for three I have to sew with my left problem and will not easily be able to get up.
Guess it will have to be pre-prepared potholders...I am almost out anyway.
Tomorrow the kids have Karate and a visit with their dad....
TBTG for Stephanie and TBTG for my sister.
ps..I am reading way too much hard stuff.
Surely need a light funny book??

Thursday, May 12, 2016

The Sun Shiny Day

A great day.
Despite nursing the 15 stitch cut on my leg from an injury at the wedding.
Despite steroids and inhalers for asthmatic bronchitis from too much stress...
Today is  lovely.
I felt well enough to lunch with my girl.
Home now, I pulled out a project box to sew freely.
Nothing like just plain deadlines, no presents due...
Just pedal to the metal with sheer relaxation and delight.
Today I feel uplifted...Today I feel that I might just be alright.

One year, at Foust, we all got these cheap jelly rolls...maybe $12 each.
There were six of them...and six of us...Today...I am oh, so motivated to work on mine.

Unfortunately, there were only a variety of 5 in the pack.
I added a few more for excitement.
There is a blue check and a shirt from a friend of Eamon's when he was 18.
Good Lord, do I like to save things.
I wonder where that guy is now...13 years later.
I am humming along.

I even put on some Irish music.
I put on best of Enya...and I just enjoyed without even thinking of Mr. O 'Quilts....Really??
Summer is coming to Charlotte...It is getting warmer. The sun shines...inside and out..
Just for today.
This feeling would have been unheard of even last month.
Gone is the anniversary of my mother's birthday and her death.
Done is the lovely wedding of my daughter.
My daughter-in-law is doing marvelously.
It has so frightened me as I waited for the next shoe to drop.
Today I decided that I would take one day at a time.
I will celebrate the day and the day's successes.

 Wahoooo...So me..Thank you Mona!!
Now, if I start to question myself I am.

Sunday, May 8, 2016

A Dream of a Wedding......

Saturday brought a dream of a wedding.
Hickory Nut Farms, Asheville, North Carolina

 Wedding vows in Irish

When she was young, our daughter would push back at everything that this mother suggested.
Saturday, she was truly her own women, with a wedding from heaven.
Pictures are now coming in from friends...Thank you Muggs

A preview here:
My handsome grandboys...with bow-ties made by Sherrie at our Wednesday night quilting group.
Emily had searched high and low for luck.
In one hour, they were made, four days before the wedding...with Celtic knot fabric from my stash.
Just love!!!!  Thank you Sherrie!!!!

With the last of Mr. O'Quilt's shirts, this quilt was gifted to Uncle Brendan, his brother.
Brendan has been here for the family at every single turn...We are so grateful.
He did a brilliant job of his part in the wedding. xxoo
I could have gone through none of this without the support of my friends..
I am so grateful..

Thursday, May 5, 2016

A lovely video....

Loretta Lynn and Willie Nelson's new release
She is 84, he is 83

For my mother
For my husband
For my grandmother
For my daddy
For Great Aunt Carl.
For us all.

Happy Birthday Mom...Cinco de Mayo and great memories

Happy Birthday Mom...guess you have missed 94 and 95
 Sunny waited for you...others claimed him...He misses you too..
 Poetry book number one!!  Celebration.
I bumped into a man today who remembered you...
Your mother was the poet, right??
She was great!!
He was right!!
How could this be...This picture was taken on the bus on the way home from a lunch bunch
outing...a few months before you died...This was winter...You died in May.
Just fell right out of that wheelchair and broke your neck.
Impatient for an outing..that you were.
I felt so cheated...I mean really, Grandma died at 99...and you were only 93..
Then I looked at this picture... look old, and fragile and you had Parkinsons.
You were so brave.
Selfish me, wanted you to stay.
Your bravery keeps me going!!!
xxoo  I am proud to be your daughter.

Wailing of the sirens
calling after me
I can hear them screaming

Ageless, weightless, spirit, I,
like a snowflake in the sky,
soaring, floating, dreaming, I,
transient like a butterfly!
   Alice Franzen Clemons Burt
from the book, Circle of Love

For some reason I fight despair today...going back to bed..

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

ALS and My Sorta Survival......

My love, I am sorry.  I love you so.

A grieving friend of mine insisted that positive thinking come before despair...
How is that I ask???
We cannot control grief..
Alas, it did get me thinking.
I have just listed in my phone notes..all the delight in my marriage.
How lucky I was to have him, etc..
Positives, I was too upset to see before.
Then, somehow,  I was able to cut up the suede jacket that reflected his charm.
 Too painful before.
Goodbye one year and three weeks.
I am going to upcycle this jacket!!!
Karma and spirit...not lost, just transferred.

Here is to hoping I get a creative bug and am able to make a bag incorporating ...
the already installed zipper and the many pockets...
I am excited...a far cry from despair.
That is why widow groups are so helpful...sharing ideas..
Look at my new found flexibility!!!!

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Sun vs Storm????

Done...Oh, done.  After at least 20... 2.5 inch cuts to choose the border....
The ONE has been found.
This last border took more time thinking then the entire quilt top.
 Little corner touches!
 My new green Hobby Lobby impulse sale buy...You go Grandma O'Quilts!!!
At your age, you can do whatever you there....

Today, the dense clouds hovered.  I could not find the sun.
I was looking in the wrong direction.
After supervising visitation with my son and his children,
I came home to flowers planted in my containers, that formerly hosted weeds.
A sweet neighbor.

Visiting with my son was exhausting.
But...He is still alive, and BTW, so am I.
The thrilled looks on the faces of my grands..were a beam of light...
(If I had been looking)
as they played with their father.

We all went to an AA meeting last night from 8 to 9.
Kids were exhausted, I was exhausted, Ms Stephanie was exhausted.
My DIL picked up her 2 year chip...Two years free of alcohol and drugs.
A miracle to behold.

So much in pain today in my body.
Then came....the sun disguised as my sister...
She came to take the two little grands to her house for the night.

Alone, I thought of sleeping or crying...
Instead, I let 10 year old Evan invite his three friends to a sleepover here.
I took the four boys to the grocery store. 
 I gave them $20 and let them decide between themselves the
dinner and snacks for the night.
You should have seen the discussion going on and the calculator going.
At the cashier, they were $8 over. SHOCK!!! Ha!!
They looked at me...Grandma said NO!!
Back went the orange soda, back went the spicy Fritos...etc..etc.
Home came the pizzas and ice cream and beef jerky..
Back came the sun and warm fuzzies for me.

Tonight I taught them all how to work the stove and the best way to cut the pizza.
Evan asked me if I wanted to watch the movie with them...
Old Grandma must be doing something right.!!!
And, so it goes...guess I forgot that the sun rises and sets every single day and night,
If...I pay attention.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Soul Friend and more

The pose with tulips for the 60 million tulips......... representing Parkinson's Disease.
Mom...see we are still cheering you on.
The roses of Mr. O'Quilts.
Stunningly beautiful in person.
I should have had a garden party.
When he died, I wanted to get rid of them all...too painful.
Evan Grandma...I helped plant them.
This is why it is good to wait a year after death to change anything.
Today, they bring beauty and very glad.

Every day my  knee gets worse as does the pain.
Walking is impossible.
I just moved up my knee replacement operation to June 13th...gotta get it done,
scaredy cat or not!

Katie is making a Postage Stamp Quilt
Tute from Red Pepper Quilts
Thought I would try one,
Grabbed some 2.5 inch strips..guess I will make a basket of strips to interchange.
Befuddled with last border on the log cabin..
Everything went so smoothly designing this quilt, until now.
I have tried black and grey and blues..ugh...I so wanted to baste it tomorrow nte.
This, one of many, looking wrong.. I still have tomorrow to try more..
OH...I just see now some more ideas...It takes posting the work to see more clearly.
Next, I will try red stripes...

I was going to the Charlotte Modern Quilt Guild
tonight...but I am in too much pain.
If Mr. O'Quilts were  here, he would have driven me. He would have hugged me.
He would have told me that it would get better.
Pain in the heart distorts.
Pain in the body distorts..
Carrying on.

I have decided to re-read, Anam Cara
Read the section on death.
Awesome, so glad I did.

Sewing and reading and friendships, new and old,
carry me through my trauma.
And once gain and forever more:
Thank the good Lord I have great friends.

Hi "m"...ha ha..I have left 5 messages on your
Pls give me your email address again.

Ps...DIL just called...another of her good friends just overdosed on Heroin and died. more...on and on it goes.
In the Arms of an Angel
Crying...sad...bereft. I understand.

Addiction....I hate you.
ALS....I hate you
Parkinsons....I hate you.

I told my DIL about Eithne...who makes and gives things away in her son's name.
Such a lovely way to give meaning.
Finding gratitude today.

Friday, April 22, 2016

It is all about Balance

This very proud Grandma is thrilled to show you
Two black belts and
one brown belt!!
My darlings have come a long, long way!!
Two and a half years with Grandma.
I love them so.
 A big thanks to Aunt Brandy and Uncle Steve for bringing their family
...... to Karate graduation last night.
Working a bit here tonight mixing balance, color and busyness..
 Thinking of one last border...such a fun quilt.
Friday nights are hard...made better by widow group dinners
and sewing. Looking down the barrel of losing mixed couple friends and
cementing friendships just for me.
Thank God I have always been able to think on my feet.
That does me well in a crisis...or two...or .....three..or more!!!