Friday, January 30, 2015

It's a Steal.....

I love our caregiver Stephanie...Believe me, she is the only one I would let steal my Goodwill $2.50 special of wonderful African fabric.  She could not believe I was going to cut it up..
Instead, she will be wearing it with leggings..Whew...dress...saved by the bell.
 I have started Tori's quilt.  Tori was just adopted by the assistant principal at our grandchildren's elementary school. Tori was like 1.5 pounds at birth and is still in the NICU.  Chosen by one single mother to gift to another single mother.
  Since adoption makes my heart beat with love, it was a no brainer to make them a baby quilt.
I am having a not so good day.  I was up dreaming last night...seems like every ten minutes, I was up at the  pulpit giving Mr.O'Quilts eulogy.  In the morning I remembered everything I had creepy.  ALS is stealing my man.  Today I slept till noon.
 Now, the Hospice nurse and aide, my sister and daughter are all taking my dear man to our handicapped bathroom for a real shower, by Hoyer lift.
 He is nervous, he is so vulnerable.
 It takes all four of them...but he is trying to boss the show. There he goes, up in the air.
  My proud man's legs have atrophied so that they are just athletic legs any more.  I thought I would faint with sadness.  Since no one was interested in neither my supervision, nor my tears, I made a few more blocks for Tori's quilt.
This is his first real shower in months.  Hopefully he will feel so much better.  I really need to get a grip.

Thursday, January 29, 2015


Finally...a finish...So happy..This is rare at my house now-a-days..
 A gift of love...dropped on my porch with a cherry cake...made and gifted by Kathy.
One for my overwhelmed sister and one for her overwhelmed sister.
Thank you beautiful!!  They made us cry..we were so touched.
 Must I keep  looking at fabric sales when fabric is pouring out of my shelving already???
It is so calming to look at fabric sales online.
 Guilty me!!...but it is sooo soothing..Getting new little bits now and then..
Getting a laugh here...
 And having a bright day here....
Well,  Mother has passed, my husband has a terminal illness, I am 100 years,
why is it still so hard to use my favorite fabric..?
Eg..those lovely kangaroos that Beth sent me, or fabric I have saved forever..
On the pinwheel quilt just finished, the binding is about 20 years old and the new baby quilt I am starting has a background from Mae's discount fabric in Miami...even older!
.Something wrong here?...Is it really ok to pat it and love it and have a stash to admire in times of grief...
Or am I a total nut case...Do not answer this question, please....
My  Darling man is so stable that his stubbornness has returned...Ha!
  Of course, it is that very thing that  keeps him alive.
He is wearing his Trilogy 8 hours a night now!!! Yahoooo!
Now, he is refusing to wave to the camera to show the world how well he is doing.
But, then..maybe he just doesn't want to miss a shot of the latest tennis on TV.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

The Way of the Day

 Today I took care of myself.  I really did...First stop...the pool for water exercises...seeing all my good pool friends gave me joy...Of course I returned the pants I stole from an unwitting newcomer..ha!!  She said I could keep them...hilarious..She said that she had to squeeze into my old I gave her a little of the small zippy purses...She was happy..I was happy.
  I checked out her T-shirt..but I was not interested...ha ha..Don't I love my own jokes!!
Next stop, Hobby Lobby..for Quilty magazine with my 40% off coupon.  Hobby Lobby is the last store to allow coupons on far as I know...and then...
Senior Day at the Goodwill:)  25% off..
Voila an African 100% cotton dress...(made in Pakistan????)
I could not wait to wash it and cut it up.  Then our CNA wanted it to wear...but, oh, no..selfish me would not part with fabric...a $2 heart!!
                                              $1.50 for someone's old basket that I do not need.
 Next antique store...look at my treasure..a vintage candle holder..
I am looking for a re-purposing use in my sewing room...any suggestions??
 75% off of ornament..or a doll buggy for a dollhouse..Lynsey will be 6 soon!!
Lunch with a dear friend...and a nap..
A perfect day.  I decided not to feel guilty for my Dear Man, lying there paralyzed with his feeding tube.
He does not want me to hover, he has great care with his CNAs.
Katie's tutoring is helping Evan blossom!!
And a surprise present for my sister and I found on the porch from Kathy..feeling so loved.
I did not cry all day..
.My darling is back alive with pink cheeks watching the Australian Open with Evan on a stool beside him, while I cut a binding. 
We are together...
We are making the best of our situation.

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Cranky Mama Bear has an outing

Here we Sit and Sew...laughing and having fun!!
 (well actually,without the S girls, not so much)
Eating and gossiping and sewing away...
Happy Birthday present to you...a charm pack of Irish fabric specially cut by me for you!!
So why am I a crabby lady, you ask???  I think it is adrenaline withdrawal...
Being so high to handle the crises of the past few days, coming back from the station with no trains of any sort in sight.  
Sometimes we crash even when the news is good!!!
You see, I was not willing to take the Hospice nurses at their word and I called the ALS nursing supervisor.  She is the one who said it was CO2 poisoning and that he needed the Trilogy machine. 
 The others said it was disease process and end of life...etc.etc...
No wonder I am having mood swings...Jeeze Louize..
Well, since Himself decided to wear the Trilogy 3 hours a day, his cheeks are back rosy, his voice has improved and he is watching sports again instead of hallucinating and sleeping. 
 I am so grateful
However, my Mama Bear energy has been drained leaving me crabby, in spite of the good stuff.
Brain dead me went to the pool the other day and came home wearing someone else's blue jeans...
Can you imagine...I put my hands in the pockets, only to realize that my jeans had no pockets. 
 Then it came to me that the other ladies were going out to lunch after the swim and one of them would have no pants to wear...OMG
Today after my sit and sew, I could not find my directions to a project..crab, I tried to start two new projects...what a mess.  This one for a single lady who just adopted a hard to place premature infant.  Since I am all about adoption, I just have to make them a baby quilt.
Then I decided that maybe I did not like that and should use these cute animals instead...
Change again...I did some quilting on this scrap quilt.
We all know that this time of night should mean bed..
Now going to put on Mr.O'Quilt's mask, give a kiss and go to bed. xxoo
Grrrr,  Can you hear the annoying grumble from crabby Mama Bear???????

Thursday, January 22, 2015

The Station Vacation

Ileus is a type of non-mechanical bowel obstruction. It results when peristalsis stops. Peristalsis is the wavelike contractions that help push stool through the colon and small bowel.
- See more at:
I feel so strong...I do not know why??  Who me??
However, Uncle Brendan said it is just adrenaline and that once this is over I will crash.
I think I had just better stay in the day and be grateful.
A big wonderful thanks to Mona for sending me some Florida sunshine!!!
 Speaking of Florida sunshine, Mr.O'Quilts brother, O'Brendan flew in today from Tampa to check things out here in Charlotte. (doesn't my dear man look good in pink)?
 A gratefulness to Kelly at
for the Christmas presents..M&Ms from Ohio!!!! Gotta love the friendship!
Did I mention that Christmas in January is my favorite.
Himself now has an ileus.
(This is a type of non-mechanical bowel obstruction that results when peristalsis stops.  Peristalsis  is the wave- like contractions that help push stool through the colon and small bowel.)  Many causes...but the one we know from disorders that affect muscle function. ALS(:)
So he has been on Gatorade for two days and things are calming down..down there.
He looks 100% better, but reports that he does not feel better.

Ileus is a type of non-mechanical bowel obstruction. It results when peristalsis stops. Peristalsis is the wavelike contractions that help push stool through the colon and small bowel.
- See more at:
My IQ group did a Mexican lunch today..7 of us...laughing surely does make a difference.
A visit from O'Brendan is good too. And, Mona and Kelly.
I am so so so lucky
Did I tell you how lucky I am??!!!

Ileus is a type of non-mechanical bowel obstruction. It results when peristalsis stops. Peristalsis is the wavelike contractions that help push stool through the colon and small bowel.
- See more at:

Ileus is a type of non-mechanical bowel obstruction. It results when peristalsis stops. Peristalsis is the wavelike contractions that help push stool through the colon and small bowel.
- See more at:
Ileus is a type of non-mechanical bowel obstruction. It results when peristalsis stops. Peristalsis is the wavelike contractions that help push stool through the colon and small bowel.
- See more at:

Ileus pdf print

(Adynamic Ileus; Paralytic Ileus; Nonmechanical Bowel Obstruction; Ogilvie’s Syndrome; Colonic Pseudo-obstruction)  
En Español (Spanish Version)

Ileus is a type of non-mechanical bowel obstruction. It results when peristalsis stops. Peristalsis is the wavelike contractions that help push stool through the colon and small bowel.
- See more at:

Ileus pdf print

(Adynamic Ileus; Paralytic Ileus; Nonmechanical Bowel Obstruction; Ogilvie’s Syndrome; Colonic Pseudo-obstruction)  
En Español (Spanish Version)

Ileus is a type of non-mechanical bowel obstruction. It results when peristalsis stops. Peristalsis is the wavelike contractions that help push stool through the colon and small bowel.
- See more at:

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Waiting at the Station

Because this is Grand Central Station, it is hard to know just what is going on. 
.I am standing at the station wondering which train will be ours.
I remember when my mother took the wrong train. 
 She thoroughly enjoyed her own wake and lived another two years.
People in and out of our house all day long.
I put the visiting preacher man to work putting my blocks on the design wall.  
My design wall  happens to be in my husband's room.
A quilter just has to do what a quilter has to do!!!!
This quilting blog turned therapy blog is about to get a bit personal....Because his relatives all around the world are looking for the real are the real deal pictures..
Our son had a very good visit with his father today....preacher man was here, as was the Hospice nurse..
 The good news is that tonight my dear man has decided to wear the Trilogy breathing machine as suggested.
This should help determine the destination of the next train ride.  Here he is asleep with his Ativan and Morphine and breathing machine
Because of today's absolute fright...with catheter being inserted and food being replaced with Gatorade, and trauma and trauma, I called in to work, two caregivers, instead of one. 
 Mr. O'Quilts is now a two person assist for toileting and turning, etc.
Because of the help, I was able to go once again to take a break at lunch with my girl.
And... to make a pair of foxy pillowcases.
It is called personal balance, if there is something like that.
It is funny.  I have taken many a train myself from Grand Central Station,
 but never before have I not known which train would be coming.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

The New Deal

Today's self care regime for me.  Went to water aerobics, sat in the sun, had breakfast with my girl and finished sewing these 6 blocks for my Cotton and Steel deal.
 Then there is the Himself deal...
The head nurse at the ALS specialty clinic thinks that my dear man has CO2 the weakened diaphragm muscles cannot support normal opening and closing of the lungs so that the CO2 cannot be pushed out normally..thus, sleepiness and mild hallucinations.
Apparently his body is now over saturated with CO2.
Using his Trilogy breathing machine could alleviate this.
  He has not used it for two weeks having felt claustrophobic and because of his choking reflex.
The clinic wants him back on the Trilogy for at least 3 hours a day.
So far, Himself refuses to don the mask.  
And the beat goes on..............

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Fudge Fixes Everything

Evan and I decided that this stressful evening was a perfect occasion to make Great-grandmother's 70 year old family fudge recipe...and in her old "fudge pan".I have had for 40 years.
  I am teaching the boy the family ropes...
Under stress, we all make fudge.  Fudge fixes everything...
 He has lined the buttered pan with marshmellows...I am boiling the chocolate.
As we waited and waited for the 5 min timer...Evan said...
" set the timer for 5 hours instead of 5 minutes..."!!!!  
Evan rescues Grandma, yet again!!!!
Ready in minutes...much better than Xanax!!
I finally stopped listening to my Beloved tonight.  I called the Hospice nurse anyway.
He came.  He said he has been a nurse for 25 years.  He said that the body was resting as it prepared for the "Final Journey"...and had we read that booklet.?  My love is hallucinating.  We had thought it was due to medication.  Nurse said that none of his present medications would cause this.  It is part of the journey.  He is detaching from the family...He wants to be left alone sleeping with his classical music on and with the lights on.  The nurse told us to up the Morphine and Ativan.  He cannot control his sleeping or his fatigue. 
 I told the nurse that he was telling us things that we did not want to hear. 
 He said that he would then tell us something we would like.  He said that because Himself was alert and responsive that we had time.  Time...time....time...

It is all about ...Today

The joy of quilting in Kinvara....You go Fiona!!!  Thank you for sharing.
It so delights me when Muldoon, International, and the family tree..get quilting.
Make me happy!!!!!

 I am sitting here ordering Aurifil on 
Friends are going in on the ordering and the shipping...Of course I have to order extra, cuz when the eye candy comes, all will remember how much they really really needed Burnt 
Jean took Dylan for an outing...TBTG.  Taking just one child out of the mix makes things so much better. And, now there is no school both Monday and Friday....what are they thinking??
Things with my dear man are going from bad to worse in terms of his breathing and sleeping.
Every day I want to call the Hospice nurse and every day, he whispers no...wait till Monday for his own nurse, Angela.
I suppose with ALS, he could live like this for another year, or he could die tonight. I have a friend whose husband lay paralyzed for over a year, unable to move an eyelash...
I hate hate hate having no control.  And I hate hate hate ALS.
I so want to fix this.
I am looking through my sewing room window at beautiful Carolina blue skies and my pretty bottle tree.
The world just keeps keeping on...going on...despite adversity....
I am pinning some more blocks for Cotton and Steel...always remembering  American women are made of such stuff...Hopefully that includes me too.
I am on edge constantly waiting for the proverbial  other shoe to drop.
Evan has misplaced his finished I think we will do a big do of sewing room organization together now.  Hmm  I see that he has taken out his own sewing machine and is setting it up...
There is some joy in Mudville today!
xxoo to my caring friends

Friday, January 16, 2015

Grace Unfolding

Today, from
Sometimes I go about pitying myself,
 and all the time I am being carried on great winds across the sky.
Wednesday I was well enough to host my quilting group as I have for the past 15 years.  I did not realize how much I had missed them...and the laughter and the friendship.
 Asthma is the pits!
They basted this scrap top for step in a right sewing direction

Today, the sun came out after a week...Carolina blue skies... A very good thing!
Today, I am well..You were right Katie...10 days it took.  Another very good thing!.
I thought for special me, that it would only take 5 days to get better and not the 10 like other mortals.
Grey is a shade, what is grim?
The sad and scary note, is that my dearly beloved is entering into Stage 3 of ALS.
Stages of ALS
He has been sleeping in his hospital bed for four days.  Great fatigue and sleepiness.
At first we thought it was because he kept asking for his Ativan to be doubled so he would not have anxiety...Believe me, I would be all for that!!!.
 But, the Hospice nurse said this morning that he was still on quite a low dosage.
She feels that his body is just tiring out.
Accepting life on its own terms instead of what I want it to be... is my struggle.
Thank you!! Thank you!! Thank you!!
For your emails, your comments, your gifts of love.
Without you, I would be quite unable to see the light.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

The sun is peaking...from the clouds...peaking...

After 3 dismal days of pictureless doom and gloom.
It gratefully looks like the sun will rise to shine another day in the Muldoon household. 
Tonight when I heard the man giving out to my sister as how the medication that kept him from choking to death last night...gave him hallucinations, I said to myself...that man is going to live!!!!
And, he was complaining about happy hallucinations....
I could have used some of those last night!!!
The caregivers do not like the awesome polyester polka dot sheets that I bought to comfort my dear man.
I explain that this is the new and newly popular kind of polyester that helps one slide in the bed but does not draw.....They do not agree..
 I have given more flannel pillowcases for his feet either...they are hot....temperature wise, that is...
Last week before I was smacked by asthmatic bronchitis,
 I made some cotton woodwind pillowcases for him. 
 I also ordered one yellow hospital bed sheet 100% million count cotton for his bed.
Because I am a saint and because they would not give me the free shipping as I told you before...
.I just had to throw in a book.  They begged me.
It all arrived today as the sun started shining on Truesdale once more.

JL...just as I am munching on some healthy, unfamiliar chocolate like substance delivered today,
 I am called into his room.
He feels like throwing up.  I have just called the Hospice nurse to come out..
Good thing that I said..peaking...

The personal pitiful pictureless pissy post

No pictures.
Mr.O'Quilts is so sick.  He was awake all night again,  I was up with him putting meds in his peg tube to loosen the mucus at 3 am.  Trying to suction what he should be able to cough up by himself if he did not have that nasty horrid ALS...motor neuron disease and muscles all atrophied in his throat. He is so exhausted from trying to cough
I want the calvary...but I already have it.
I have wonderful caregiver and friend Stephanie to care for my man.  She came in this morning.  I have friends to bring food and shop for us, I have fabric.  I have dear Michael who took Evan for the weekend.  I have everything.
But, the calvary cannot fix this.
Terror in my heart.

Friday, January 9, 2015

What a difference a day makes...

I mean, what a difference a few hours make...
 I just finished block six..Mr.O'Quilts is coughing like mad.  We have been using the Cough Assist machine all night.  After I put the Trilogy breathing mask on tonight, he asked if I had the baby monitor on...(thank you Carol for going out in the night and buying one and putting it on my porch...hugs)  I did..but every time there was the slightest noise, I was up and at um...Mama Bear was on it..
Mama Bear was so on it, that often, he was not even awake and some of the time, it was my own wheezing that woke me...Jeeze Louize.
I have taken to sleeping in my clothes.
  Finally, I just got up...I am on Prednisone after all...thus we have block six, nicely finished
 Once up with my vino tinto, he did need more help...a pill or two under his tongue was not enough.  He needed cough medication.  First my arthritis would not let me open the child proof top..Finally, he tried to drink a sip of the medication and could not swallow.  Feeding tube time...omg 
  I have avoided that like the plague..but necessity was know..and he walked me thru it.  I put the water and cough syrup into the feeding tube like a perfect student. 
I think he feels a bit less vulnerable with me sitting here sewing...but the first school bus comes at 6 am...and it is now 2 am, as I wheeze away...hmmm
 Darling Evan is 9 and a half.  He considers himself quite grown up.  As an almost adult..hmmm, he prides himself on helping his beloved granddaddy.  He has learned the cough assist machine.  I asked him if he wanted to learn the feeding tube.  I told him about it.  He pondered, then he decided that that part was probably for 13 year olds...
Emily is still so sick...Actually, I am not much better..  Cotton and Steel, the American way...just one foot in front of the other.
 Grateful that I listened to the doctor and reduced my stress????.
And, as my friend Jenny says...if I need more help, Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson only work 6 nights a year and they just might be available...I should really put a call out.  Stay tuned.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Never Fear...

We are still here......
Pink block finished last's  preview..
My dear man is stable....His dear wife..not so much!!
Asthmatic bronchitis again sooo sick. Doc said reduce stress.)(*&(*^(^
Em upstairs with the flu.
The way of the world.
10 degree temperature in Charlotte this morning!!  Kids on the bus at 6:00 am.
Rosie the Riveter speaking!!

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Quilt Love # 3489038956

I have waited so long to start this quilt.  I love it just like I thought I would.
This block is large...14.5 inches.  I am crazy about the shade of blue and the
Cotton and Steel fabrics I have been saving up.
 And, I am delighted about the way the block is coming together.

This is a wonderful relaxing.  Doing just what I like to do.
I gave myself permission to start a new project even with tons of UFO's.
This is the first time ever, ever, ever that I have made a quilt using just one line of fabric.
Twenty blocks are needed.  I am doing each one individually to savor the moment:)
Himself reports that he is feeling decline in his right arm and hand.  His left one is pretty much useless.
Reaching for a glass of water, or for the suction machine is harder.  
Also, he is struggling a bit more in swallowing and breathing.
Today, he said that he is starting to feel more anxiety and requesting more Ativan.
We had two wonderful caregivers all day today from 9 to 6.  And, they cleaned my screened in porch and did laundry and dishes as well as caring for my man. 
 I am so very lucky.
So hard to grasp that we each have our own journey in life.
Hugs to you all out there who lift me up.

Friday, January 2, 2015

The stuff that January Second is made of...

Tonight is awesome..
.Everyone has gone somewhere but my man and me and the caregiver...
Peace and quiet.  I have started to sew:)
I have kept this Jeni Baker pattern, Flower Power on hand just for this fabric.
 Last summer when Cotton and Steel first came out, of course I bought some...
Tonight I cut out 160 blue four inch squares.  A big achievement for me.

...I have a new pact with my friends for 2015...
#1.  Drink one glass of water first thing in the morning and...
 #2 Set the timer for 5 minutes for organizational contemplation....
So not my style.
 Peer pressure, I started on 1-1-15... When.I started #2, I found this in a sewing drawer..
My grandmother's curlers!!
What would Grandma do?????
  Evan has announced that the park is for young kids, and 9 was too old.
He and his lunch..see bag wrapped..went into the tree.
FYI, this is a very grown up way of lunching.

Sujata Shah  of Root Connections blog has published a book on which her latest blog is based. I encourage you all to see what it is all about.
 The book has great reviews and when I get a grip, I will get it too:)

A huge thanks to Cousin Ann and O' brother in-law Kevin for caring so about the caregivers by taking the girls out to dinner...We had a wonderful time feeling loved and feeling normal.xxoo
Thank you for all your comments and emails and love.  We are peaceful tonight and carrying on!
Even in a world that's being shipwrecked, remain brave and strong.
Hildegard von Bingen