Sunday, September 11, 2016

A Finish, my Revival and then...Addiction

My Black Glory still needs snipping and washing.
I wanted to start this post with a HAPPY!!

I am better!!  Sunday was truly the revival day...grief wave passed..TBTG
Voila ...a very good report.
My girl is on her way to spend a week working at:
Wwoof USA
I am so proud of her...stay tuned!!
She lifted me up with texts of her
I am so happy.

My DIL helped lift me out of my black hole with her own story of recovery.
She says that AA/NA are action programs, not word programs.
(Evidently my son is all about the word part)

My DIL gave me permission to share her story.
She started using at age 12.
Her mother was an addict, her grandmother was an addict and her grandfather was a dealer.
She has been an addict for almost 20 years..yet she is now an addict in recovery.
She is 2.5 years clean. In the world of addiction, this is a miracle.
The general statistics are 5%..Five percent make it to 30 days, 5% of those make it to one year, 5% of those make it to two years.  Past that it is better...but not so much. (Spiritual River)
Every site had different stats, but this one was the clearest and prob the most accurate.
My son has been in 18 treatment programs and is still using.
 In those grim statistics, my DIL shines....for now that is...
Science is now finding out that addiction is a chronic relapse disease..
 I think it is worse than cancer...
With  cancer at least, the neighbor brings you a chocolate pie...
In the 20 years my son has been an addict,
 no one has brought me a pie to ease my broken soul..
When I was so afraid of still another loss if my son overdosed, she reminded me
that no one can fix an addict if they do not want sobriety, words aside.
As usual...I can control nothing.

She found recovery after sleeping cold on the streets, going in and out of detox and calling while high, 3 times a day for a treatment bed.  The minute that a bed came open, she went into treatment, then a halfway house, meetings 5 times a week, sponsorship and all.
 Now she has many friends including herself.
  In the next week or so she is going to the beach for an AA conference with her friends.
 She deserves this big time.  Hear the word Proud??

Today has been a lovely glad that ugly grief wave subsided.
BTW, gratitude is not possible while in a black hole.
Then it is all about survival.
Once up and is all about gratitude..
We all walk in shoes that fit no one else..
Thank God for friends who just listen.
The Day I'll Finally Stop Grieving


ES said...

It saddens me to picture a 12 year old trying drugs, and becoming hooked. Our headlines are filled with reports of and Ice epidemic in Australia. I find it quite scary. I never tried drugs when I was young because I was scared I'd become addicted. Bless you Diane, it must all be so hard to cope with. Thank goodness your daughter is out there enjoying herself, I believe lots of backpackers over here do farm work and I've heard of WWoof over here!

smazoochie said...

You daughter-in-law is so strong, pulling herself & two generations away from addiction. I can't imagine your powerless sense of loss about your son.
If I could, I would bring you a casserole (I'm not so good at pie), a bag of scraps & my listening ears.

Karaquilts said...

Those who have not lived with or close to addiction have no idea how wretched it is. Everything surrounding addiction is a nightmare rollercoaster ride raging out of control. My heart goes out to each of you who share this exhausting journey. What a triumph for your DIL and that the children can know a safe place away from the craziness of addiction (or at least the craziness of drug addiction!! Fabric addiction is like a playground in contrast :):):)

I appreciate that you could share the stories because it helps all of us to understand those around us better and better. Walking with those who carry the burdens is sometimes all we can offer, but that is far better than indifference and judgement.

I pray your son will find the secret of escape from his terrible ordeal and that you will live to experience it with him. As well as his children.

And the quilt has turned out to be a real beauty ~ ~ aren't surprise quilts fun? and some of us need all the fun we can find. May you have a quiet rest of peace this evening.


Rachaeldaisy said...

Your DIL is amazing for what she has achieved especially with parents and grandparents that were addicts. Hopefully she might be an inspiration to your son. always fingers crossed!

Mystic Quilter said...

Thank your DIL for sharing her story with us - it is heartbreaking to read of the start she had in life.
I have to say I was so pleased to read your last few lines, hope you have many, many more good days Diane.