The Widow's Handbook

Friends...do not let me buy anymore greens, oranges or reds.
Even if I cry.
Even if I beg you.
Even if there is an awesome sale on Hancocks of Paducah!!
Promise???

Sitting here on my wonderful backyard porch, I hear a kitten mewing...or is it a baby??

No, Diane....it is the wheezing from your own asthmatic chest.

I got asthma when I was forty and it has become worse over the years,

Of course, it has nothing to do with stress!!!!

Just sharing here a blog I have been following for a few years now.
One of the three non-quilting blogs I read.
Our Forest Haven
She is one brave lady!!

Here are found things as I am organizing.
Cat notebook covers.

My grandmother's Swedish Christmas embroideries...tons of them!!

Pictures are just to cheer us on...before the whine:)

ALS is a terminal illness...no ups, no downs...never a better day.
There is no chemo, no radiation, no hope at all.
Once diagnosed, my husband set out to confirm that all our affairs were in order.
Everything was in both names, the wills and powers of attorney were set.
He closed my business for me, so I would not have to. I then retired.
Things were paid off, talks happened, grief started.

When he died, he took his skill set with him, among other things.
His paycheck, his wisdom, his kindness, his brain, his warmth.

I am trying to figure out the money.
The house is paid off, but there is a lot of expensive maintenance when I have to hire out what he could have done for nothing.
It always goes back to one day at a time...Just figuring out one thing..
My sister will be helping 10 year old Evan cut the grass tomorrow..
Emily is sending me soup recipes.
Michael fixes the car.
Muggs does the library for me so I will not spend money stupidly.
Child care is one half of my income..

Enough rambling
And, probably Hancock's of Paducah is now dead to me.
Figuring things out is still a slow process.

I read an entire novel yesterday afternoon...stayed up till 1:30 am to finish it.
I have not done that in a long. long time.  It is Kara's fault!
I went to bed in my clothes.

Going to put the greys and blacks in their new home.
Read the last half of CS....I liked the book in the daytime. I am going to read it again.

I need a suggestion...here on one shelf lie clipped papers of quilts I will make when I am 100, I guess.
How to store them??? Attractively??
I am reorganizing, you see. I need pretty.

I am so furious about ALS and I am so furious that Rhonda got a brain tumor.
I think I will calm myself by watching again, a few episodes of "Frankie and Grace" on Netflix.
I need a laugh.
Thank you for your enduring support.
Forgive me for being lax on thanking you for comments.
xxoo

The Cleansing

 See Mrs. O'Quilts fold her fabric.
Cousin Ann is coming and I so wanted her to think I was normal!!
Alas, I will not finish my organizing, so she will see the real thing.
So cannot do my whites....help!!!
Greens are so many that they cannot be single stacked.

Since I throw out there all my emotional stuff...
Why am I embarrassed about my messy, hoarding:)??

Here goes 50 years of fabric collecting
Here goes 2.5 years of therapy fabrics

The bottom three pictures are in the "bonus" room
This is where my office was and my dear man's hospital bed was.
I am determined to make this room my own....
Below, new office supplies..

 Christmas, Hannukah, Halloween and childrens fabric in my love's old office bookcase

 My 30's in the antique chest of drawers.
This used to be in our bedroom, now it holds sewing apparatus and the 30's fabric.

I think, Rachel is right, no matter the work of organizing.
The fabrics will get mixed up anyway...sigh

On phone an hour with Social Security today.
They have not started processing my claim.
Six months...irritating, but I handled it.

An absolutely amazing thing has happened.  I have not cried in 5 days.
After moping with the blinds closed last week, something changed.
I feel that Himself is with me now as I advocate for the children and make things happen.
We are together as the journey continues.
For today, I am grateful.