Friday, June 16, 2017

Art...it is all about Art...Saving the Day

Working on this piece with color and fabric..
Peace for me...sewing along.
Textile art...saving my day.
 My girl refuses her picture...But I so wanted to show you how beautiful she is.
See...I am jealous..She is 34..full of energy and music and love.
I am an Emily wannabee.
Last year for Christmas I asked God to make me a bit younger..but, oh, no
he couldn't be bothered...sigh.
I am struggling with my lack of beauty and my lack of energy and my chunky thighs....already
worrying about my  upcoming birthday in December.
Just  like me..getting that worry on..early..
See grief still visits me.
My love is gone..
There are folks who have decided that Mrs. O'Quilts needs mental health intervention.
Really...Do they walk in my shoes???
My darlings are at the beach with their aunt.
My girl is here..is that not better than Prozac?????
If I were African...or Mediterranean... or ...Latin...would I need Prozac???

No, it is because I am an American WASP that I need to shut it up and stuff my grief.
Wahoo...am I now out there...not new for me.
The wind beneath my wings is gone.
My love affair of 34 years is so over...
Do I not have a right to be bereft....even though it is 
2 years and 2 months exactly today???
Let me tell you grief is normal..and there is no timeline..

My Stephanie, our nanny, lost her son to a gang 25 years ago..He was shot point blank at age 15.
Does she still have a right to spend a weekend in bed crying if she wants.
I need my mother, my husband and my grandmother..all clear minded till the end.
I miss them so.
I am so not ready to be the family matriarch...Oh, well....here it is...
My son is now homeless again shooting Heroin.
And, every night I wonder...is this going to be the night that the police come to tell me that my dear son has overdosed..
If this is not your life.....please.....

I finished the CEU's for my license today at Dilworth Chemical Dependency Center.
The speaker was awesome.
He said that the number one cause of death of youth now is not auto accidents, or guns.
It is overdoses.

People mean well.
Let me tell you what I need.
A hug and a whisper...that I will be OK.

Oh, Dear...Dear me...Mrs. O'Quilts is ranting today.
Today, my girl is all I need...I am so grateful.
A cuddle with my girl, some vino tinto and a few laughs.
xoxoxo

5 comments:

Mystic Quilter said...

Wish I was able to give you a hug and whisper that things will be OK - sadly I can't from thousands of miles way - sending an email!

Exuberantcolor/Wanda S Hanson said...

Your upcoming birthday in December: birthdays at our age are a celebration of still being alive. Every higher number I get to is a joy.

You don't need psychiatric help, you need inner strength, and a lot of it. It will create independence and not reliance on others for your happiness. It is a long road but you can do it. I'm cheering you on every day.

Angie in SoCal said...

A colorful quilt! I send you hugs and prayers.
Blessings,

Bridget said...

Here's a hug and a whisper from New Mexico. Bridget

Sandee Henricks said...

<3 you dear friend...tell it like it is...some people just can't handle the truth...<3 you