After so much joy and few tears, Today I realized that there is no more Thanksgiving /Easter dinners at Grandma's house where the family gathers. My "matriarchal" head of household role is now defunct and I am the last/ oldest of my family. I am now, the "Ad-on" if I am lucky. My DIL and the grands live in a place without a walker ramp. I know I am in the right place for me. Guess I am grieving a bit.. Surely nothing to do with the 8 year anniversary in 8 days of losing my wonderful husband.to that monster, ALS. Certainly I am not the only one my age with this feeling...And, I do know, that like the weather, eventually every cloud runs out of rain.
I wish I could have lunch with my son...but, unfortunately, he is already out to lunch. Lucky me has a wonderful daughter who is coming to visit in two weeks..(alone)
Finally, it has come to pass that I am able to be grateful for the life I have been given, instead of looking around the corner to see what other's have...
Maybe malaise came from being totally out of Brach's original jelly beans. I drove out to get them, but the sky opened up and rain and lightening were upon me. A message??? Sigh...


