Tuesday, Tuesday...

Stitch says.....Bye, bye Emily.....bye, bye..

My girl left this morning.

I feel just like Stitch..only no one took my picture..

Last night was a horrific night for knee pain.

I woke both my children with my crying...terrible...

I know Emily was conflicted about having to leave.

Lynsey was helping me with this blogpost...

She said she wanted this song included...cuz, it was how she felt.

with Aunt Emily leaving. and....about granddaddy leaving..xoxo Lynsey

Why Did You Have to Go

Today was a better pain day

Things to make us happier....

All...by herself!!!!! Lynsey made a free edge applique, two sided

mug rug for me.  She had the best time just sewing things she found

in my scrap basket to an already cut piece of batting.

She did not use insul-brite..which made  the piece flatter for a  mug rug.

It sits right next to my recliner and ice bag..to make my day so much happier

The PT came today to rule out infection and blood clots.

I am clear. He actually said I was getting better..

He said to hold off on the vino tinto....but...

eat as much chocolate ice cream, cheese cake, Oreos, etc

What ever it takes to bring peace in my garden..

Now that is my kind of PT..

A leg lift, an Oreo....a leg bend, some ice cream!!!!!

Lynsey and I are the only ones here for a bit.

We found, squirreled away...candy from Linda..

Yum...

And because my girl loves me....Joe-Joe's from Trader Joe's

Flowers my girl planted in the back yard.

Emily teaching the children how to make Pickled Onions.

Meantime, my son holds down the fort with things that do not shine in pictures.

Cleaning the deck, cutting the grass, playing with Lynsey, waiting on me.

So it goes, my friends....so it goes...

Day 11...

Day Ten...Still Kicking...Still Hurting......

Grandma O'Quilts resting in her big chair, with her walker and her book and her quilt

This quilt was embellished with embroidery from my grandmother's tea towels.

So cozy..

Below...our finished tailor hams.  Much prettier than those we could buy.

The front is Japanese linen/cotton blend, the back side is wool.

I had a few wool pieces left over from a quilter estate sale a few years ago.

Perfect....

As in the instructions...this is really an outside project...

OMG...the mess of the sawdust stuffing..

The wool side is for pressing with low heat

The cotton side for pressing with high heat..

Tailor ham tutorial

This is the first sewing project I have been able to work on since my new knee...

and only because my girl is still here.

She is in a sewing group in Portland that is making clothes..

Lynsey helped Emily stuff them, I hand stitched them shut.

We love how they turned  out.

When I stop trying to take it easy, I hurt, I get dizzy and I get furious.

Then, I get emotional incontinence and cry...OMG

Everyone's favorite patient

The third day in the hospital post-op, the physical therapist bent my knee too far back

causing some seepage at the incision...It is very red, but not hot and no longer seeping.

The new PTs check it every time they come...

Of course...everyone's favorite patient has already catastrophized......

My children have taken the best care of me...I am so grateful.

Tomorrow morning, Emily leaves to go home.

I will be taking some of my favorite fabric...some Kaffe and Tula

and heading to bed with my hydrocodone..and ice..

Head under the pillow missing her so.

It is the leaving that is so hard....There is no one like my girl.

Back to obsessing...I keep reading the same articles online as to when this awful pain subsides..

Supposed to be 2 weeks....It will be 2 weeks this Friday...

Stay tuned..

I found another Maggie Hope mystery to calm myself..

Still holding tight to my friends...and...

barely to my sanity!!!

xoxo

Recovery

Tears of grief exploded.

Pain pulled that trigger.

Anger wore the gloves of pain

Anger wore the gloves of fear

Anger wore the gloves of grief

I just came home from my only vacation..

Camp Mercy Hospital.

The midnight hour.  The ice bags now warm or lost

The moon rises.  The sun sets.

Friends go about their own business

I enjoy Hydrocodone on the rocks.

I am impossible to be around

I cannot get away from myself.

Grief changes everything.

Pain reminds...

Thank you all for the cards, and texts, and emails and good thoughts.

Thank you for holding my hand remotely.

Thank you for your kindness and love.

Friday afternoon May 31, 2019 at 12:15, I got a brand new key  Knee

I was in recovery until 6 pm.

Today is Wednesday...I have lost count of the  days.

I must be expecting too much

I am sending you love and appreciation

xxxoo

Courage from Ellen

A gift of courage from Ellen.

If RBG could do it, then DBM can too

AND...I am a tiny bit younger than she is.....

D-day is upon me.

I have to be at the hospital tomorrow morning at 10:15

It has been a long time since I have had an action figure of my very own!!

xo

The Same Old Boring Rant....I need it, you do not.!!

Can you imagine, my girl and her man think this is fun.

With no sewing machine around????

 Tillamook State Forest 

Ten month old family wolf...named Rosie...on a hike and in a tent with my girl and her man

Portland is a great outdoor place.  Youth is great too!!

This is Rosie's first real hike and first time in a tent...wow..

Trying to make a sad day more cozy.

My man moved his hospital bed into my office

and our lives changed forever.

This was three years ago...He has been gone 4 years.

I feel sad that no one will ever say to me...again..

"Do not worry sweetheart, we still have each other"

I think I cannot do this anymore without my dear man.

Then, I say...what makes you think he is not here, somewhere...still watching and caring..?

He sent Eamon home, didn't he??

He said, You cannot raise these kids alone...you are too old.

I said, " Watch me..."

When I am weaker...I say..Why didn't you tell me you were going to die

Tuesday morning at 7 am  ????

Today I struggle with fear... a knee replacement operation.

Not an operation on my heart...not a feeding tube..not an amputation.

I am a brave woman wannabee.

Then I say, it is only because of this time in the world that these kinds of surgeries are available at all.

Or I would be in a wheelchair in more pain, yesteryear...

Today is Sunday..I am taking my thankful self outside in the sun to read.

I am reading, The Moment of Lift , by Melinda Gates.

Today I am choosing to sit under a tree in my beautiful back yard...

reading a book with two cats and a dog.

No sewing motivation for me....

Oh, well...I will be courageous..

Week set up for my comfort...

Monday lunch bday party

Tuesday night MQG

Wed day meeting

Wed night IQ

Thursday lunch

Thursday night OMG  OMG  OMG

Friday morning ...the knife

Thank you for listening...

Tonight I needed a rant..xo

The Midnight Hour

With a LIttle Help from my Friends

What I am working on tonight...a slow process.

Looks like white will need to be the next border...but I did not include that here.

Funny how a person can see the right value once the picture is posted.

Kids spending the long weekend with their mother...love..

Love for them and love for me!!

Thank you  my friends...

Thank you Carol for yummy weekend dinner.

We are still enjoying it...day two!!!

Thank you Frieda and Sarah for paying for my lunch.

Thank you Sherrie for strong and steady

Thank you Dalia for quarts of perfect blueberries..yum

Thank you Linda for your support.

Thank you meeting friends for listening to my story a million times

...all without judgment.

Thank you friends who accept me for who I am.

I am practicing turning things over to the proper places...eg

I am not going to call my surgeon on Thursday night to see if he wants to

review any of his knee replacement surgery theories with me....hmmm

He does  10 replacement surgeries a week...5 on Mondays and 5 on Fridays.

For 30 years....

Nor will I email him to remind him to have a healthy protein breakfast.

before he starts the operations...Jeeze..

I have asked his nurse if I can be first on Friday morning.

In place of being in my dear doctor's business....I have a list of sewing things to finish.

And, a list of sewing things to prepare for my recovery...

Grandma O'Quilts ...get with the program!!!!

My son just cut our grass...in the dark...after doing construction all day.

He came into the sewing room to find me listening to what he called  sad songs.

Without even asking.....He immediately changed U-Tube to "Happy songs"

He chose these songs for me...too funny.

I feel loved..

Better When I am Dancing

Can't Stop the Feeling

Happy

Living in the Moment

Sugar
morning has broken
With a Little Help from my friends
Let it Be

It was almost bed time and then a girl called him....Oh, my....He is outta here.

I have never seen him dress so fast....wahoo...

I have so much to be grateful for.

Just think of the friends who put up with my craziness and love me anyway..

Lucky lucky me.