Thursday, February 23, 2017

My Blog/ My Life

My New Year's resolution every year is to:
..Try new things...
But,.nothing changes...I like safe. I am no longer an adventurer..

Rhonda got sick...cancer...brain...not safe...not good.
Rhonda is queen of good and queen of nice.
So not fair..diseases like  .Cancer or ALS or Parkinson's or MS,or more.
Rhonda asked our group to make her Hedgehog blocks for her future grandchildren.
We are all on it....we love Rhonda.

In quilting, that meant try something this block.
It was hard the first time...the second time was easier.
I made the same mistake both times with the ears...
It is OK...I love the block and love that I was pushed to try something new.
I am showing the finished lovely among the mess in my house..
It does not matter, not a priority.
I can choose to look at the mess or I can choose to look at the darling hedgehog.
My see...choice.

Soft, furry and gentle.

At 22 months a widow, I have chronicled my grief in notes and here on the blog.
It has taken me this long to change my prayer.

My former prayer:
Do not go gently into this good night...

The one I use now:
The Serenity Prayer

Walking through the fire to get to the other side.
Growth from pain.
Growth from mistakes..
Growth from giving to others.
Not giving up.
It has taken me a long long time to relinquish the control that I really never had.
I am still in pain...emotionally and physically.
However, now...I realize that I am not alone.

A big thanks to my many peeps that have stayed by me and my moan.
I am grateful to all  of you.
A special thanks to my friend Rhonda for stretching my limits in many ways.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

The Short Fuse on the Long Day

The good note...
Elizabeth Hartman's Hazel the Hedgehog block
  Here is mine...made for our Rhonda.
 Starting the second one for Rhonda..just love a yellow face:)
Poor Lynsey...the FLU!!!!  Despite having had the flu shot.
Headache....high fever...lethargy...cough...etc..
We are all wearing masks and washing our hands.
TBTG she is feeling better...pray none of the rest of us gets it.
 The very cool Shutterfly photo book Aunt Emily gave her for her 8th birthday.
Lynsey and her Muldoon family.
 An apron from the 50's or 60's
Apple green....just love that color.

Briefly......cough.. short cough..
Went to  my pre-op...and passed.
Monday the 27th, this bionic women gets an entirely new left shoulder..
Was called by two teachers about Evan's behavior.
Took away the X-Box  until the grades improve.
Suffered through terrible 11 and a half year old middle school snotty  mouth
took Evan for his last DVP??shot.
Called my peeps for moral support

DIL in ER tonight for possible problem with appendix.

Getting fatter everyday from stress!!
However...the Sarge shows up tomorrow night from Seattle.
I am so grateful for a daughter who loves me so.

So sad that so many of my blogging friends have switched to Instagram.
So impersonal...I am being brave..

Monday, February 20, 2017

For the Love of......

For the love of Rhonda...
Just loving to make her block.
For the love of patchwork and quilting addiction.
Aunt Geraldine vowed to the world that she would never ever be a patchwork quilter..
She is hand patching in her own way...TBTG
So glad that the quilt police have long retired...
My visitors have moved on to Florida.
Leaving me so grateful that my dear man's family still is here for us.
Thank you Declan for doing work around here....Thank you so much.
Thank you both for the visit...I cannot believe that you left the French Alps
Drove to Geneva, flew to Stockholm, then to NYC and down to Charlotte to visit us.
Love for sure.
For the love of visitation day....My son was in awesome shape..
.Everyone had a delightful time at the park, in the sun with the picnic...
Enjoying each other.
My son is no longer homeless.
Just for today, he has a place to stay,  a job, a sponsor and a program.
For the love of Carolina Blue..and Grandma having an attitude adjustment...
Just for today.
Ironing her scraps on the porch..
For the love of Ellen and her collections and sales.
For her love of us...
My newest acquisition
Feedsack quilt top in excellent condition..
I love it so.

For the love of good friends...
Thank you MP for taking us all out to eat.

For the love of animals.
My sister took her 19 year old cat to be put down.
He had been hiding and in pain
Waiting for the vet, dear Tiger died in her arms.

For the love of kindness and encouragement..
and, of course self - discipline...ouch...a huge deficit of mine.
Today, I accomplished a bit.
I read a daily reading, sewed a bit for others, ate healthy and...
Had an attitude adjustment....Oh, Lordy!!!!
Amn't I a good Grandma!

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Mush and Mash and Sun Peaking Out

The latest quilting convert!!!!
From across the pond...Irish in France comes part of the....
 Muldoon European connection!!
Yeah!! Geraldine....
Let's get going Ita!!!!
 Hand piecing
A present here...with a piece of Guatemalan fabric from Nancy's house.
A pantry plastic bag holder for my Guatemalan neighbor..
OMG  Look at the European packaging for cigarettes...OMG
A different health picture on each package.
This one...Geraldine's Marlboro...package..
I never saw anything like it.
The entire package is made up of warning...

Protest...part of the way America works...
The Artful American Protest

So Happy Valentine's Day!!
The Way You Look Tonight

It  has been a rough few days..., the sun came out..

Irish visitors brought both sad and glad.
My dear man's family.
They did not forget!!!
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Saturday, February 11, 2017

Suck it up Buttercup ..again....

Cats are fickle.
the minute Pumpkin died, Tigger was in her basket.
Now...Stitch, not missing either Pumpkin, nor Tigger..settles in....really???
One more time at the "estate" kinda sale.
This little tea cup planter is a thank you present...I love it.
 A swatch inside of one of the packages...good to keep for dating fabric.
Marked 1932
 A nice piece...What to do with it??
 This piece was stained...terrible  bleeding.
I soaked it in Retayne forever...It is not all out..but so much better.
What to do with it??

Lordy, Lordy..the darlings have left for three days....I am so happy to have some free time.
 The minute they left, I cried,
..all stymied and stuck, missing them already.
Someone told me to get a grip.
I did not want to hear that.  I wanted a rescue..
Alas, none of that...

But, getting annoyed got me going
I started on my projects....nothing like getting your panties in a twist to be productive.
It has taken all day today to feel myself...guess that the survival adrenaline has worn off..
I realize that as much as I love them., I need a complete break from my darlings..3 days is awesome.
Working hard now to find the new me.
Look, see Ms. O'Quilts organize three whole shelves!!....
A picture of Drenna's shower gift..a bib and burp cloth. fun.  Another post showed a matching quilt.
Today...winter in Charlotte...70 degrees.
Top of the track.  From up here the sky is so clear.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Me and the Hulk...a disarming relationship

Nancy's quilt top..king awesome is this!!!!!
Just gotta see a lovely quilt cuzz
The Hulk roller coaster portrays....The life of Mrs. O'Quilts.
Grief in a nutshell...Mood swings...
Up and down I go...even at 21 months out..
Today..Bad:  One kid sick..stayed home from school...old grandma up several times in the night.
Good:  My niece came over to help out. Child all better now.

Good; Lunch out with a charming refreshing and uplifting.

Good and Bad..Doctor's visit...x-ray shows that my fall two weeks ago may have produced a compressed disk.
Good news is in 8 weeks it should fix itself.

Bad... Down...way down..:
Tigger said his goodbyes tonight.
Both Evan and I cried.

Tigger had a nose cancer and other things...  13 seems young..but that is life.
Good:  My Wednesday night quilting group.
They are so much fun.  So good to  me.
We had great fun showing off our sale fabric from another quilter's sale

Since my arthritis has quickly progressed, I am unstable on my feet
So off to the internet to start my cane collection..
the flask cane

It is good to visit with other grieving friends...laughing and crying together.
It is tough to see pain in someone else's eyes.
We are all struggling.
Now, I am struggling to find hope for myself.
I am frightened by my declining ortho health and balance.
I am lifted up by friends.
They are rooting for me not to go down..

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Value, Values...and Such

The supervisor:
Our Stitch always did like purple!!!

Voila...King Value!!!!!
I got the hues last night...I chose one, but couldn't secure value.
Here it is...what a difference..

 Question...Do you think this can be gifted to a child???
  Or is it a bit too harsh.?
I am not sure....I just do not like the Anna Marie jelly roll here...

Next, the Disappearing 9 patch in lovely 30's fabric.
I want the final border here red, but I do not want to buy anything.
Grumble...every year the fabric tint is just different
This makes my collection of 50 years so amazing.
I knew I should not use my fabric..That is why my red 30's is gone!!!
Fabric is a collection to gaze upon and love!!

Do you think either of these would work..or do I have to keep the 30's fabric...?
The tint is off...but really...who cares??
Many fine quilts have fabric of mixed years and tints.
Why I care about this one, I do not know..
I do like the daisys...
Maybe I have  nothing else to worry about tonight....LOL

In the last few hours 4 Ibuprofen..kicked in and my pain is under control..
Wahoooooo!  Funny how the Hydrocodone did not  help me here with the muscle spasms.
I am good to go.
Thank goodness, as our group is off to Foust and lunch tomorrow!
Those of us with good hair days, that is...
Last night's post was not for compliments.  
It was a grief thing. 
 That with grief sometimes there is cognitive the sorrow comes roaring.
With me, when I feel friendless and alone...It is because of my dear man no longer being here.
Although I have many friends...including all of you.
Not one can fix my loneliness for my man
The morning light usually brings perspective.
I sooo  thank you all for reading my blah blah.
It helps me so much.
Good news again today with my son...
Another wonderful visit with his kids and his mother.
God is blessing us.

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Collecting and a Family Story..

#1  The Collection:
I sew was not going to this sale...
Just like chocolate, I forgot somehow, that I felt poorly.
A king size  completed quilt top,  ( I spy a patch or two from the 70's)
A partially made 40's top with all the fabric to complete it.
Star blocks, hand pieced

A needle book collection that I must have really, really needed???
A little patchwork heart that I am going to make into a name tag.
Plaid flannels and plaid plains
 A funky duck holder...I love funky!!

#2  A Story:
My mother retired at 62.
We treated her like a 2 year old and coined the phrase:
("the terrible 62's)
She had decided to celebrate her own life.  We were aghast.
She announced that she had graduated from motherhood.
 THAT did not go over too well with the family.
She would set the clock and lock herself in her bedroom for 30 minutes.
Reading the newspaper and listening to Madame Butterfly made us all...
to the person, quite jealous.
To this day, I do not  like the music of "Madam Butterfly"  lol.

As for me.....I think I will take a lover and move to the beach for a year.
Oh No!!!!!  Just kidding
Ha ha ha...that would be the crazy 69s...
The overwhelming crises here have left me hugely exhausted.
I have decided to buy online and elsewhere for myself.
It is painful to walk..I miss my Dear Man... so what the heck.??
First, it was fabric to save my soul..during the lonely times.
Next, shirts for myself , justified because I had none,,,
The sizes just were not right, somehow...the M&M problem, you know...

After my diagnosis last week, I started collecting canes.
I now have six of them...all delivered right to my door.
 I went to an estate sale of a master quilter today.
I grabbed it all up, bringing it my estate,
. Her distraught daughters knew nothing about
Quilting.and were sad and quite overcome.
As I added some of her stash to mine..and her collections to mine.
I must say, that thoughts of my dear Emily floated, just floated..

None of these things of course have righted the missing
Nor have they cured the pain.
But they are mine and me and I will do it if I want to..

At very bad times, I am friendless and alone.
My cognitive distortions shout loudly.
My friends have abandoned me...
They do not anymore like fluffy, nor bionic.
They have to walk me here and there lest I fall
I am disabled.  I am old.
My bestie calls herself, CL...chopped liver, when I talk like this.
.  I laugh.
When the distortions fade, usually with the light of day.
Gratitude comes forth..
Lucky me.
Lucky  Lucky  Lucky me!

Friday, February 3, 2017

That Tired Kind of Day

Caroline's Doll Quilt.
It kind of matches her own....

Today was the day:
That I had chocolate ice cream for breakfast, Jimmies and all.
That I had my finger bandage taken off.
That I slept and cried all day because my meds are off and my body and soul hurts.

My friends will not baste my quilts for me any more.
They know I hurt all over.
But, they do not know the comfort of having a stacked pile of quilts all basted and ready to go.
Because there are 342 already in the irrelevant.
That I have to buy more pins at our Foust trip on Monday is irrelevant.
Guess I will have to just find somewhere to hang the tops..
My future looks grim.

Seven Spanish Angels
Blue eyes crying in the rain

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Knowing it is the grieving hour, I looked for peace before hysterics and bed.
Nancy came a visiting yesterday...Nice Nancy!
Of course Evan saw it first, lurking in the shadows
All of a sudden, I see him handing out M&Ms to his friends...OMG
We all know that value does the work and color gets the credit.
I see that neither of these work.
I am prone to the orange in another fabric.
Then. maybe it should be turquoise.
The pattern is "jellybeans" I do not like it.
Happy is:
My darlings watching doing movie night.
I made a mistake by having a few vino tinto tonight in my despair.
Now my back spasms are at it and I do not dare take the Hydrocodone.
Even at my old age now, I keep having to learn the hard way!!!!

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

The O'Quilts Circus

Our group friendship sampler top of 2 years ago.
Finally finished...Happy me.
We used Block- in the Box.
My fabric was Civil War reproduction
 Below, the backing.
 While in the mountains...I made the Disappearing nine patch,
Five of us did..different fabrics..Thirties has always touched my heart.
 Below some random pattern,,,,,not so happy with this one.

Remnants of our fun time, just awaiting borders.

Today was a day to forget.
But, I cannot.
My balance has deteriorated since my fall week Sunday with the needle business.
Today I had an appointment with my knee ortho guy.
New knee great....shoulder almost totally destroyed by arthritis.
Total shoulder replacement scheduled for this February 27th.
Instead of buying I m buying canes online...I now have six...
One in the in the bathrooms..etc

I had thought of Hawaii....but the chance of three operations
in 8 months was just too enticing!!! 
He told me that we had to get it done because...
the right hip would be the was going fast.
that would be before the left knee.

He said that he has done 6 major joints on some and it looks like
 I could well be one of those.
Degenerative joint disease.
Tears and pain are my bedfellows.