Sunday, May 21, 2017

A Personal Rant...and a Personal Purse

Good news...I just ordered fabric on Amazon Prime and it came with no shipping.
Saved me $4.95.  It is cuz fabric.com is owned by Amazon..
Wahoo

My new purse on the right.
My wonderful purse on the left
It is all the fault of my friends.
They carry my big purse when I use my cane
I am unstable with my shoulder and my hip.
OMG
They made me do it. Now:
How in the world will this little purse hold...
My wallet, my camera, my phone, my pills, children's dirty socks, tooth brushes..(.cuz kids hate to brush their teeth), my diet coke,  my husband's death certificate, my sunglasses, my hand sewing,
my pretzels, my change purse......HOW????
Ha Ha Mother....Thank u... I am indeed re-framing...the getting old bit...
To being grateful that I lived so long...
And.....
I just might say....that I am pretty proud of myself.
I gotta put this out there for me to read again and again.
in the day to day work, I often forget.
In the past 3.5 years that I have been raising my grands...
(while their granddaddy was paralyzed in the hospital bed, in the bonus room,  dying of ALS)
And their great grandma broke her  neck..
and I had three surgeries in 9 months...
and their parents were struggling with the chronic relapse disease of addiction.

.I..set the stage for stability
that the children never had  before.
They are stable in their schools.
They have neighborhood friends.
They have a big back yard to play in.and a creek behind the house
A super duper tree house to remember Granddaddy by.
They have rooms of their own
A nanny that they love, who teaches them to do chores and helps the littles with their homework.
They have me...they have always had me..to love them and care for them
.through all the turmoil and grief.
They have black belts in Karate
They have teachers who understand and love them.
Teachers who go the second mile.in the best school districts.
They have this grandma who knows how to advocate in the school system
because she did it in her practice and she did it with her son.
Especially with their AD/HD issues and their emotional damage from the past.
They have access to both parents,whom they love.
They  have an Aunt Brandy who believes in raising cousins together. Aunt Brandy always goes above and beyond for these children.
They have Camp Mindy for the summer...3rd year..consistency. Thanks to the J.
They have Aunt Charmaine and Aunt Emily who love them and teach them different things.
They are very lucky children to have such consistency and love from so many people.
The 7 year old  has lived half his life with me.
And, they are not separated in DSS custody.
All with no child support from either parent.
I just have to put this out there because sometimes the grief for Mr. O'Quilts distorts my view.
I think I should be doing more.
And, sometimes I feel totally unappreciated.
I am grateful.
Very grateful..

4 comments:

Cynthia@wabi-sabi-quilts said...

I am so moved by your posts - the raw honesty - the grieving pouring out and the openness about the big struggles in life. This is a beautiful list of blessings and warm human connections. And.... I have no good advice for your purse dilemma!

Karaquilts said...

Okay, now that my eyes are dry again and the lump in my throat has diminished ~ ~

Purses: Put your errand essentials in the little purse (I just ordered one for me like it) and carry your "stuff" in another bag which you leave in your car and don't carry with you always. Use a lightweight quilted bag or one of the grocery store cheapies for the "stuff" so you don't have bag weight as well as "stuff" weight. All of this from one who has neck issues and continually tries to reduce weight of carried loads!!

What a lovely testimony of love.

Sandee Henricks said...

I agree with Karaquilts...misty eyes and lump in my throat, too

I'm listening to "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and thinking about all that you have shared. You write so eloquently about it...grief and joy, blessings and pain, gratitude and regret. You are one wise lady and those grands are so blessed to have you and stability. They will never forget all of this.

One more thing...thank you for introducing me to the world of Victoria Findlay Wolfe. I am quite addicted to her; as a person, as an artist, as a quilter!

Joanie's Trendy Quilts said...

Tonight I thought about you that I had to come and look you up. I remembered what it was like for you as you described your journey of your sweet hubby having ALS, the grandchildren you were taking care of and life in general. Well I am having a very similar journey and not sure that I can write about it as eloquently as you have done. My husband was diagnosed with bile duct cancer last September. That diagnosis and the trials of his illness have reshaped our lives tremendously. I am tired, overwhelmed, angry often, and now having a sleepless night. I miss my husband as he was, a 6'3" man who once weighed 220 lbs. who is down to 153 lbs. I was shocked when he told me he had lost another 3 lbs.since last week. I labor everyday making sure he eats, encourage him to eat, and cook daily to make sure he has the meals he needs. I am also working full time with my accounting business and trying to keep it going, as well as things on the home front. He was in the hospital for 3 weeks followed by another 3 weeks in a nursing facility. He is home now a little stronger, now able to navigate the stairs without a cane and drives himself for chemo therapy. But yet he is still quite weak and spends his days mostly sleeping. Grieving has begun but yet I know possibly more is coming as his life seems to be on a hinge. Your blog messages of the past remind me of what to expect. I try to keep busy to keep the tears at bay but Sunday while at church I was a water fountain. Then I read this evening how through it all you still manage to create stability for your grandchildren. Life continues you still keep going doing good regardless of the trials, tribulations and losses of your loved ones. And you are still creating amazing quilts! May I grow up like you! Sorry to hear about the hip replacement. Maybe someday I will be able to find sometime to quilt and attend The Modern Quilt Guild again. Keep doing what you are doing! Quilt hugs to you!