Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Goodbye 2014

 The last day of 2014 brings our Evan learning to sew.  At nine and a half, he has been begging me to teach him.
 As I have no patience, I had thought of hiring it out...I did not have to. 
 He was a first rate sewist from the get go.  He had not looked at this machine before, yet he had it threaded and plugged in before I even got into the room.  He had his right shoe off...ha ha...I always sew barefoot.  I put the speed on slow and off he went.  I helped him with the first one and part of the second..When I left to attend to Granddaddy, he had done several more by himself..I am so so proud.!!!
 Picture fuzzy, but not the boy...ironing his strips toward the center block, spray starch and all.
 I have had these charms cut out for him for awhile, knowing he was interested. 
 My original intention was a disappearing nine-patch..hence the red middles. 
 Now, I am thinking for a beginner's success, a plain nine  patch should do...
It is for his own bed...all action characters..
In other less happy news...things with my dear man are stressful.  As he declines, his care is takes much more energy and focus.  We are all burned out.  Although the caregivers are excellent, today we had a no- can- come- last minute deal with no replacement for the holiday tomorrow.
 The detail and time it takes to care for the Mr. is extensive, and getting worse. 
 He needs the cough assist more...I am training Evan for that too. 
 There is a lot I cannot do with my back and arthritis.  He needs massages for his dead muscles, toileting, range of motion he looses weight, he needs repositioning for comfort...that I cannot do.
  His Trilogy machine must be put on just so, etc.
  The emotional part of this is devastating for the entire family.  We really need a few days away in respite, but that will not happen.  We need more caregivers who care and are responsible. We need me getting braver.  I was helping my sister tonight at 11 with toileting and all that comes with that and I started to feel dizzy.  I decided that a beer and blogging would help..and so it did. 
 Cousin Ann is still here, but she leaves on Friday. She has been so great helping with the kids and even putting on the Trilogy mask. 
 We need a respite CNA that we can trust.  It is going to get worse and I do not know what we are going to do.  If it were morning I would say celebrate the positive and one day at a time.  But this post is going out as the last post of 2014 and it is 11:41 I am probably doing a negative whining thing
...It still feels good to get it out...
A New Year is like a new baby...there is hope for the future and something to look forward to.  I know that there is no cure for ALS...but there are other things in life that can be happy and uplifting...
So Happy New Year to that hope and friendship and love.
 A Very Goodbye to  2014 and a Very Welcome to 2015


Rachaeldaisy said...

To hope and appreciation, friendship and love, I'll say cheers to that!! May 2015 have many uplifting moments. Evan is a natural on the sewing machine, I'm impressed, and I love his action character fabrics.
I never hear your words as whining, but stating the reality of the situation. Sending you all strength and love.

IHaveANotion ~ Kelly Jackson said...

Yes my dear....there is always more joy and happiness to come....for all of us.

I'm tickled for your grandson and his sewing....what fun!

I know the pain....not the exact pain you are going through, not that of your husband....but of the frustrations and exhaustion...I do know that....and the needing of a well trained person to come and help because you are certain it will be you that drops dead of exhaustion next....yes...I know that.

I can only send prayers at this time....until I can do more.


Julie said...

I check for your blog before anyone else, and may only read yours. Diane, you are getting through each day, and that is a victory. Mr. O is home and loved beyond belief, and that is a blessing. Know you are also loved.

Holee said...

This will sound...well, crazy but it's not. Money talks in this world. What you need now is a live-in, someone who can't call up and say I can't come. You need to come up with an amount that you are willing to give up down the road...advertise for someone who needs a job and is hungry for a lump sum...but they must be there to the end and as a live in can only have a few hours a day for eating and recovery time. Now that we have become our own doctors and nurses with no training we have to use anything make life livable even if that means trapping someone into living in with a future cash payment. I bet someone who is already coming has something hanging over their head that hard cold cash would fix...all you have to do is feel a few of them out and see where they bet is a young single person with debt...someone you like.

Courtney said...

This is a good place to get the whining out, and you sure deserve some time to do that and people to listen. I am hoping you and your family will get that respite in the new year and find hope and joy in the small things. Love and prayers!

smazoochie said...

We are your sympathetic ears -- yes, let it out. We will listen & comfort, some (not me) can offer practical advice. We are always here to listen & lift you up.
So please your biggest little boy is sewing! There should be a sign over your door: Abandom all hope of not becoming a quilter, ye how enter here.
Here's to new beginnings. Cheers.

Alcea Rosea 31 said...

I do wish I was closer and able to help in a practical way. You do an amazing job looking after everyone. It is impossible for you to do all this without help,
Sharing your fears and worries with us, hopefully helps a little.

Karaquilts said...

I, too, look first and foremost for your blog each day ~ ~ and feel honored to share your journey and thoughts and prayers for your continued courage and strength and creativity. and I always enjoy the wonderful ideas your readers think to share, so I learn along with you. Your honesty continues to be refreshing in the midst of our messy lives ~ ~ and all of our lives get messy ~ ~ some days and seasons more than others. and in the midst of all this there is a new year and new hope and new-born quilters emerging!!