Healing

My mother loved this poem...so Jonathan read it at her Memorial Service.

The Jewish Poet Menachem Rosenatt

I used to be a part of you
belong to you
the extension of your being
but now
you live within me
are the spark of my consciousness

I say kaddish for you
with you
as you
sing your melodies
speak your words
hearing your voice in mine
and my eyes
too green
have somehow started to reflect
the brown of yours

I used to be part of you
protected by your presence
by your light
and I always will be
but now
I must be more than myself:
your child has become your heir,

has become you.

My daily reading said that I can either be a victim or a valiant warrior...  I do not feel so brave.  My friend,Joy found this poem for me to read.  She said that I had no choice but  to be the valiant warrior...Oh, dear me...

The Truth the Dead Know

By Anne Sexton

For my mother, born March 1902, died March 1959
and my father, born February 1900, died June 1959

Gone, I say and walk from church,   

refusing the stiff procession to the grave,   

letting the dead ride alone in the hearse.   

It is June. I am tired of being brave.

We drive to the Cape. I cultivate

myself where the sun gutters from the sky,   

where the sea swings in like an iron gate

and we touch. In another country people die.

My darling, the wind falls in like stones

from the whitehearted water and when we touch   

we enter touch entirely. No one’s alone.

Men kill for this, or for as much.

And what of the dead? They lie without shoes   

in their stone boats. They are more like stone

than the sea would be if it stopped. They refuse   

to be blessed, throat, eye and knucklebone. 

I found this one in my mother's things...from 2005...quite awhile ago to be feeling such:

THE CHOICE IS MINE

TO:

1.  Keep going; keep going; keep going

2.  Accept all the love and help I receive

3.  Watch the sun come up through the trees

4.  Not be judgmental

5. Practice patience

6.  Accept loss of writing skills.  Print instead.

7.  Recall when I was articulate

8.  Remember this is the day the Lord has made

Let us rejoice and be glad in it. 

Alice Burt   2005

It is all about her struggle living with Parkinson's..

Now as for me...Her daughter here...well..I am trying to heal...but that does not matter because healing has its own time frame which I do not control.  Today's attemps:

1.  Buy $100 worth of $3.22 fabric on the Fabric.com sale..none of which I needed.

2.  Buy large half gallon of chocolate chip mint ice cream and Smucker's real hot fudge syrup

3.  Take three naps

4.  Do all my asthma treatments so I can get better.

5.  Clean up the Memorial Service clippings and store them.

6.  Go to the Farmer's market to buy Dill and green beans to make green bean pickles with the grands..

My poor dear man has ALS and had a four hour root canal today and HE does not need to write a healing post...Jeeze Louise

Friends lift me up with your comfort...I am so grateful.

I am a wimp.