Friday, November 13, 2015

Crabby McNasty Rises Again...

Fending off doom and gloom for the holidays without my love.
I am seven months a widow.
Sewing sewing sewing
Crabby crabby crabby
 Lynsey has been invited to a birthday party of her good friend/worst enemy.
They bicker, they save seats for each other, they are mean to each other.
Now, the birthday party.
Me thinks that 6 years old is a bit early for "girl stuff".
I am putting a bit more effort into this present.
Actually, it is easier to make something than to figure out what to buy.

This bag carries library books, et al..

And on I go to another Quilt of Valor block.
Why???...because I feel like it
At seven months a widow, I am not in control of my processes.
Up and down and all around.
It irritates the doo doo out of me.
And, my knees hurt and I cannot figure out my television.
Guess I will have to read widow book number eleven.

This is an excellent article.
I think I wrote it, but it has someone elses name on byline..
Second Year of Widowhood is harder
Thanks for hanging in here with me..queen of the whine.


Michele Bilyeu said...

Hugs hugs hugs

smazoochie said...

For Thanksgiving, take the kids to their favorite fast food joint -- they will be just as happy & less toil & baggage for you.
Do the best you can for Christmas, for the sake of the little ones. They have been through the ringer. I absolutely know you do your very best for them & they are flourishing because of it, but they need some return to normality even though you don't feel normal.
For Christmas, I want you to give yourself a break. I read your posts, I read the widowhood links you share, but I don't know what you are going through. I imagine it is hard, very hard. That there are deeply black times that you don't share. But from what you do share, I see you are doing your best. One foot in front of the other, getting all the dirty work of death done, keeping food on the table, sending three young children to school & their activities, even finding moments for your quilting. So, top of your gift list: a break for Mrs. O'Quilts.
Regarding the 2nd year of widowhood article, I have to say that it isn't that people are weary of supporting you in your grief, it's that, because the grief isn't our own, we tend to forget about it. It happens with any long term cross bearing. The cross bearer is doing their best to carry on, to look & act normal. People forget about your cross, or, like in the article, they don't want to bring it up, like it isn't always on your mind anyway. We aren't being hard or cold, we are being forgetful & stupid.
Sending the biggest ether hug ever.

ES said...

Smazoochie's comment is spot on! A great comment!! Hugs to you xx

Holee said...

Year 2...I'm at year 18 with my son and I still find that dark place to go where I can just cry and yell and scream if I feel like it. People don't understand unless they have the same kind of horrible grief. "Best Friends" fall off the ladder when we no longer can be fun and that's okay because grief is now a part of my life and it's not going anywhere. I have one friend who use to pick me up and take me up the mountain and say, "Go on now, give it some good screams and I will too. Coming back down the mountain we would look at each other and giggle.We understood what we did but we knew how stupid we would look to anyone who might have seen us.

Some of us have to keep our grief. It's comfortable and helps us get past the place we can't deal with. I want you to be better but that doesn't mean without your heart and love.