Saturday, October 7, 2017

Stuck, Unstuck, Unsticking

My girl always seems to be there when I need her...
Today was a tough day....when here in the mail came two fat quarters from
The Portland quilting extravaganza!!
When I make something from these, I will think of love.
I have been working on the blocks from Mr. O'Quilt's shirts for a Christmas treat.
Don't you love the Wimpy Kid addition!!!!!
I have made nine blocks this weekend..the result:  I started missing my man.
Missing him something awful.
I have put them away for now.  Can you imagine that I have had to make a note in my phone where I have put them, so I can find them again!!!
Can you believe that it has come to that.??
 After 2.5 years, I still find myself seeing my dear man suffering from motor neurone disease..ALS, the beast!!  I see him hanging from a Hoyer lift, eating from a hole in his stomach, breathing from a breathing machine and being paralyzed in the bed, unable to talk but by a whisper.  
Grief spews from my pores on this rainy day.

 I think of my grands and what a great team we have become in the 4 years I have been raising them.  They have their own rooms, their own chores, their own personalities..We are for sure a we help each other..hang together.
 They each have their own animals to sleep with.
They love Ms Stephanie.and they love our  home.
The two little ones really, really love their school!

It is helpful that I was an AD/HD specialist in my work before I retired.
Having raised my son...I had the at home experience too... My dear man was here then.
Two more...maybe three....of these darlings.have it.too.
In the next two weeks, I will be in the schools advocating for these children, writing 504 plans, giving permission for testing.  I am retired.
  I do not know how single mothers do it.
Then , there is Girls on the Run, Karate and homework which is getting harder and harder.

Writing this lifts my spirits. I know I repeat myself. I know I am doing a good job..
I cannot fix the 7th grader's feeling that he is stupid and all the kids are looking at him and he is embarrassed by everything. I am afraid that that is middle school angst.
I wish that their parents helped around here some..
They pay no child support.  They  have their own kind of lives.

On this rainy day, I am going to sit on the screened in porch and read, work on cleaning my sewing room...I am going to forget my hip taking decades to heal, and I am going to celebrate what I do there, whiny Mrs. O'Quilts
Thank you to my peeps on Saturday night for cheering my evening.
Thank you to Dae and her man for bringing dinner.
And so, this silly song...ha!!
I believe in you
Grandma sings, I Fall to Pieces


ES said...

You're doing a great job, I too do not know how single parents do it. My kids are back to pre-school and school tomorrow and I'm feeling tired out after two weeks of school holidays, we've been busy every day. My sewing supplies and fabric need a serious sort out I can't find anything at the moment. I will try to do some tidying this week:) I need to label my boxes so that I don't spend an hour looking for what I need!!

Exuberantcolor/Wanda S Hanson said...

I think that is a smart idea leaving the note on your phone. I'm still looking for a box of cut fabric that I wish I had written down where I put it.

Karaquilts said...

I don't know how I missed this post ~ ~ as you are first on my daily agenda!!! But I love the fat quarters from Portland and the blocks you are creating and I totally understand the triggers that sent them to a secret resting place for a while :) Yes, you and your grans are a wonderful team and a treasure to all of us who get to visit with you vicariously. Keep keeping on!