A Good and Grateful Day

Finally done, my friends, 12 pencil pouches for teachers/ 25 pencils per pouch.  Not one pouch is perfect, just like people, but I did the best I could and I hope the teachers like them.  The kids will make tags: "Our family thanks you for being a teacher" and start passing them out after Thanksgiving. Most of these teachers have worked with all three children.  They all know our story and are sooooo great, going the second mile all the time!! I am so grateful.

I made a mistake using a few old metal zippers, thus candle wax eases the sticking.

I will not use those old zippers again!

How to Lubricate a Zipper

  Our Aoife after her water class.  Aoife did not like it but her mother did!!!!

We have lived in this house well over 20 years. My Irish husband loved roses. In Miami, he had 80 different kinds in his garden.  This pink climber was the first rose he planted at this home in Charlotte.  Over the past 20 some years, often I had wanted to pull up the scrawny old thing...Glad I did not.  Every year a beautiful cluster of pink brightens my day, both in fall and then again in spring.

Lynsey listens in on everything. She overheard me tell someone that she does not cook like she  used to.

Next thing she shows me her white board of menus.

Last night she made a quiche to die for.  The best I have ever had..She homemade the crust and everything!!!

Today was a good day.  My doctor insisted I have my ankle and knee x-rayed at Urgent Care. I made an appt online, so no wait. Nothing broken but a bit of my spirit.  A good day since my car only conked out once idling at the bank and restarted immediately, a good day since the children had a half day school today, did all their chores and now are relaxing with friends online.  It was a good day with friends popping up with all kinds of support.  I do not feel so alone. The flood issue of  7 months has been 99% settled with the insurance and all the fall leaves are still shining in Charlotte.

I am feeling the hope today

Gifts

 

About 30 years ago, I took  this picture of my children in matching outfits I had made for them.

How grateful I am for the gift of adopting them as infants. Up the hills, down the hills, I would not have missed this ride for the world xo

The pencil pouch obsession continues to rattle me.

Tonight I finished three of them.  I have Sherry's directions in my phone and had to look at it for each pouch...jeeze!!!  The corners are the best I can do evidently.  I tried the zipper end covers and they did not work well for me either...Come on Grandma....these are just pencil pouches!!!

C

Aoife's daddy made this climbing toy for her.  It also has a slide to attach.

She clearly loves it.!

Today, my foot and knee commanded that I only rest.  Do they not know that I am a Sagittarius????

A fire sign that cannot be still.. I had no choice, but to listen.  I read and worked on the ongoing teacher pencil pouches!! AND napped like an old lady.....

I used to work with folks in grief...until my own grief smacked me on the head 1,000  times at once.

It is easy to make slips, I so still do it...but, now I try harder to think of  the bereaved and how we all grieve differently

There are so many articles on this now, because our culture is big on telling others the parameters of their own feelings.  Exploring other options is always a great thing.  Really, it is not just me on my high horse.  We all do this to some extent thinking it is being helpful and to protect ourselves from what we struggle to handle.   Unfortunately,  it causes further grief. 

Toxic positivity

A Little is Enough

Aoife's daddy usually takes them for a before bed walk in the dark to the park.

Each darling is outfitted with a glow in the dark light.

Here is our Aoife with her dinner still in her cheeks.  She refuses to let it go...gotta  laugh.!!

Rosie and Aoife (still holding her dinner)

 Friday:  I so need a break....Not the broken bone kind. Grateful as I fell,  once again today.

There was a loose brick in the sidewalk which I did not see...due to a certain peppermint milkshake I was holding...Evidently there will be no multitasking for me ever again!! I tripped on the brick, and ended flat on the grass in tears.  no break, but a twisted ankle and a very hurt sense of pride!!  Those poor guys from next door were joined by the two basketball players on the court next door.  They got me up...TBTG  Tonight I hurt all over.

Because of my craziness this week with two falls, I did ask the boys what they were doing tomorrow...I booked them, just in case it is true that 3 times is the charm!! (I am using the walker now to prevent number three while I heal.)

Good things today are:  Our rugs were finally put down after the flood 7 months ago.  The children were a great help...they were off school for the holiday. Dylan  had his first Covid shot, so far, no problem. My  hair dresser came to my driveway and cut my hair.. Tomorrow the cleaning lady comes, a friend visits and the children leave at four to spend the weekend with their mother. Sat and Sunday I will read and rest.  Sew?  Hope I will be able to.

Saturday:  Feeling a bit better, but still on 4 Ibuproben for each dosage.  My darling grandchildren both now have developed middle school mouths...I had begged Dylan not to grow up like that...but...all my hopes fell on deaf ears. In three months I will have a 12 year old and a 13 year old.  Both kids told me that they are oh, so good out with others, just like to take it all out on old grandma...I get it......but,.....

They have now left with my sister for the morning, then off to their mother's for the rest of the weekend.

An old lumpy log cabin flimsy is better than showing no quilt at all!!!!!

Three weeks after my husband's death, I went to a workshop at UNCC to keep my license.  There I bumped into Margaret and took her workshop on Soul Collage. Thank you Margaret!!!!

I made two. Cutting magazing pictures out, below is me...looking at bleak life after the death of my man.

Here is my husband escaping the bear of ALS, flying high with freedom from his pain.

When I Go

Now, I insist in this quiet evening, I will finish my teacher pencil pouches...I insist, to myself.

A New Day Rises

New plaid skirt for Aoife made by her mother for the pumpkin patch!  Aoife smiles with her mouth open!!

Lynsey all sad from not being able to go to Alabama with her brother...But, look what he brought her!!

When I am  down and out, here comes Aoife!!!! She cheers the day!!

Learning to love the sewing machine, just like the rest of us!!

The girls on a walk in the Portland woods.

Aoife playing in the autumn leaves

Yesterday, I survived my husband's birthday...Sigh.

I miss him way too much.

Big thanks for the friends who help keep me sane!!

Big thanks to my sister for all her help and to my girl and her girls for all the pictures.

Old car has broken down, now in the shop.  Workmen in our house fixing and repairing what I cannot do

.

Gratitude for no broken bones when I fell last night...
TBTG that I bounced...good side of the new weight gain...Bad side, it took 3 neighborhood men to lift up my ancient dead weighted body to the preferable standing position.

Kids were scared...but, here I am for yet another day.

I have to miss the pool and lunch with friends, etc...with  no car and workmen here...

Lucky,  lucky me to have friends with contacts so I can get these things done. There is a shortage of workers, never mind good ones.

Going to chill tonight...Ha Ha...nothing new!!

Tomorrow's goals will be to finish teacher pencil bags.  Sit outside under a quilt or two, to read.

Many naps, etc.

No sewing today, but my friends took down the Halloween quilt and hung this instead.

This was a block in a box from forever ago.  It was made by me and friends and quilted by Heather Larson as a gift for  me.

I love to see it hanging.

Acceptance

The Grim Ripper, my favorite Halloween decoration.  Thank you Beth!!

Four months short of 13, Lynsey gets her grandmother various types of M + Ms, then tries to eat them all herself.  She bought them on my credit card when I sent her into the store for something.????  Something may be askew here....????

First perfect pencil pouch.

Second perfect pencil pouch.......Oh...well, not so perfect.

In my clouded focus, I had cut off the zipper pull...

Sigh.

The elephant stands on my damaged heart,

My concussed brain's in a vise.

The pileated one pecks to reawaken my joy,

I do not hear him, I am in bed.

The past three nights, I have awakened, realizing that my husband is not in bed  with me.  I wonder if he went to the bathroom or got up early.  Then I remember he has been dead almost 7 years.

He is now my conduit to God.

Halloween and More

Our chicken...

 

Our chicken and the egg...Which came first???

Happy Halloween

And now the sewing...One messed up zippy bag....

Second messed up zippy bag.....

After 4 mess ups...finally a pleasing pencil case for the teachers..

Although probably, they will not mind the imperfect  ones..

Highlights of the day:....Beautiful weather, sleeping in, no school and no internet all day,

Halloween candy  OMG, Linda and Kathy visited and did miracles with my quilting.

I was useless...too much talking..ha!!!  and no focus to sew.

No sewing focus as we see in the above attempts at teacher presents..20 percent acceptable to me..sigh..The rest were so flawed!  I have put 25 pencils in each pouch.

I have such a wonderful new sewing room, filled with beautiful fabric. 

Not much sewing, but lovely peace.

 

October is Zooming Along

 Aoife, October in Portland, 15 months old.

Pencil bag number two for teachers.  Honestly, I  must be declining.

I made  huge errors here too...with the zipper and the zipper corners...UGH.

And, I thought I was following a pattern....but then I too, thought I knew it all.

Tomorrow I insist will be bag number three...gotta do a bit more research.

What happened to my wonderful memory????????

Aoife's mommy worked hard to make her Halloween costume.  Sigh, Aoife no like!!!

I remember the kids' sister Ava doing the same thing with the princess costume she had picked out.

Once it was taken off, she said to the adult...You wear it!!!!!

Darn shame we cannot control  other people, even at this age.

This year, the holidays are giving me a stomach ache.  My son has cooked the Thanksgiving dinner for the past two years.  Before that, my husband cooked it...I know my sister and niece are coming to join me.  Being alone now, We will have to think of something different.  Then Christmas...Thank God Aoife is coming with her parents, the chef and the sous chef....I will relax.

Thank God all the people coming will have had their shots.

Stitch killed a beautiful Cardinal and brought the headless body home to us, Dylan took care of the mess and would not speak to Stitch all day.  Lynsey freaked out because she said her mother had told her that her now deceased other grandmother would come back as a Cardinal..

The neighbor boy cleaned our fish tank...Grateful.

I have house cleaning help.  In spite of the budget, I asked them to come back next Friday too...It is such a relief.  Things move so slowly in getting my house back together, never mind my heart.

Today, I stayed in the moment and appreciated the beautiful fall leaves.

I took a walk in Tuesday Morning.  Pushing a cart made it easier..Things have changed.  The store was a fraction of what it used to be....very few of the lovely candies and cookies.  In the same shopping center, I noticed empty stores, no more Pier One, no more Sports Collectibles, no more Stein Mart.  We checked out several restaurants Friday, all closed for lunch, only open for dinner.. It is a new day in this world of ours.  So grateful  for my blogging friends and my in person friends and for Zoom. 

Turn that Frown Upside Down

 

I remember when my mother was stupid.  Somehow, she smartened up!!!  She taught us that when life gets rocky, do something nice for someone else.

Tonight I finished the first pencil pouch for a teacher. It is a lovely laminate.

One would have thought that I was a beginner in sewing for all the mistakes I made.

Honestly, at first I thought I just cannot give this to anyone.  However, now, me thinks that no one will mind the errors.  It is filled with 25 pencils....a little tassle on the zipper.

Our school is a wealthy school.  I was aghast to hear that already teachers needed pencils.

Will order another box from Amazon.  I hope that 25 in each pouch is enough.

Between the two children, there are 10 teachers.  Usually in middle school, gifts are usually just given to the favorite teacher, or the one who goes the second mile.  But, this is an unusual time.  All the teachers are so good and kind and giving.

I am going to put a note on each bag.." Thank  you for being a teacher!!"

Then, of course there are the wonderful counselors...hmmm

This is my accomplishment of the day.  Although after a lovely lunch, it was amazing to come home to a clean house.  Of course an old lady nap, a movie and some sewing...the bag.

Tomorrow another day, if we are lucky xo

From Coast to Coast

From Aoife's porch in Portland..

She and her daddy carve the pumpkins

To east coast,  Boo in Charlotte!

Boo and I enjoying the sun, a book and Mary Park's vintage quilt.

I bought a Dirt Devil to use in case I ever get my carpets down on my new floor. Meantime, Dylan is here, putting together the machine.  I said, "Dylan, Don't you want to look at the directions?"  Without batting an eye, 11 year old Dylan said, "Grandma, men do not need directions!!!!!"  OMG

Lynsey enjoying the Halloween fabric.  I am so far behind, guess nothing Halloween will be done this  year...sigh..  Nice sturdy table!!!!

Thanks to Carol's suggestion, I am reading this:  Jacqueline Winspear, her autobiography.

I just love  her Maisie Dobbs books.  I have read them all.!

Pondering chickens instead of working toward what I need to be doing.

I am soooo unfocused.  There are things I should be making for the holidays.

But I do not do that.  I should be quilting the quilt tops I have already made.....

Instead, I want to play with fabric or stare out the window or sleep.

Today, my visiting friend, told me that all school staff is generally suffering so much stress.

They are short staffed, there is a Covid scare since the children are not  yet vaccinated, etc and there is pressure to get the children back on track from missing so much learning last year.  Also only a third of former substitutes are available to work.

Then, I decided,  my focus should really be on teacher presents with a card:   "Thank you for your service.  Thank you for being a teacher. " I cut out 5 laminated pencil pouches tonight.  I read that there was already a shortage of pencils at our middle school.  

I really do not know who this new person is in my body.  She  is old, unfocused, exhausted and quite needy, and, of course plum full of chocolate... UGH...Not sure she is my favorite version of myself.

Our school system just voted on a 4 day time off.  This Sat and Sunday and Monday and Tuesday.  No one asked me!!!  No one at all.

I also forget when I stopped loving Halloween...

At least I got a blogpost up now....a step in the right direction.,

Self care will be lunch out tomorrow while I have a cleaning lady clean my house...Wahoo!!!

 

Keep on Swimming

Tonight I finished a goal:  the center portion of this African fabric fish quilt, all sewn.

I am naming it, "Keep on Swimming"s.  Because that is what I am encouraged to do by my dear guru brilliant friend, Sherry. 

Kids come home tomorrow.  I have a doctor's appt tomorrow am, again..YUP, again, for her to tell me why I am so tired all the time.  Sigh...Oh, well...I do love my doctor.

She will not say:  because it is Covid, nor because you will be 74 in 7 weeks and are raising grandchildren; she will not say because you are grieving so much, nor because you are neurotic as hell...nope, she will not even mention my extra Covid weight.  And when I read the doctor's notes online later....I will see a series of notes on different dates, year after year....... that all say the same thing:  STRESS...

xoxo