Thursday, October 15, 2015

Gone to the Dark Side

I have gone to the dark side.  And, it is the fault of CS Lewis.
  I am reading widow book number 9, A Grief Observed.
 ....reading it just before I go to bed, of course.
It is 2:30 am..and I had to get up.

 I was starting to go...what point is there?? 
My best arm has been amputated.  He was everything, I am nothing.
I hurt every day with arthritis..I fell yesterday and now I have a huge, painful bruise.
Everyone else can get a cold, but me...I immediately get asthmatic bronchitis.
So what is the point??.
Steroids will do this to a person!!

.  My sister just brought home Breyer's chocolate ice cream.
When the dark side came, I just got up instead of obsessing.
Happily, I am eating the ice cream.

CS Lewis was one of the intellectual giants of the twentieth century and one of the most influential Christian writers of his day.
When his wife died, his intellect got in the way of his faith.

Where is she?
Others keep putting their faith on me.
She may not be in a better place.  They do not know.
Half of Christian religions and a part of Eastern religions all believe that life after death could well be worse.

The dark side..
I think that I will read the second half of this book in the day time!!
My reality has changed. Nothing will be the same.
Now that I am up, I know that I will forge my own way and do the best I can.


Holee said...

I know life on the other side is good. I am being prepared for it each day. All that worried me is being settled now and I'm finding a new peace in my heart. I think the reason we can leave without a fuss and screaming protest is the light of hope, of seeing those we love, it's about to happen.

When I fall asleep in pain waiting for some kind of peace to come, I see a bridge with water trickling into a pool of flowers and those who have gone before me are all waiting on the other side of the bridge. The ball of light seems to be the sunshine drawing me closer to it but not able to reach it just yet. I smile, they smile. I know that peace will happen soon for me. I'm making the best of each day because doing his work here on earth never stops..the lap robe for a vet, the doll blanket for a child's Christmas, tissue holders for the old ladies who put them in their sleeve for want of a better place to put them.

Work away Diane dear, the time is in front of you when Mr. will be waiting at the bridge for you.

ES said...

((hugs)) Diane, all I can think to say is, get sewing. I know when I am having a down day that I only get worse the more I think about things - I'm better off getting in front of the sewing machine and switching my brain off for a bit. xx